D-Place

My Love is on TOP!

2012-01-11T21:45:00.000-08:00

Baby it's you!

Ten Guidelines From God

2012-01-08T23:03:00.000-08:00

My previous post was written out of pure frustration. God works in mysterious ways. Earlier this evening I was thinking about my Friend/Nephew, Marlon who passed away and found an old email that he sent me titled Guidelines from God. Normally I usually delete these chain like emails but for some reason I kept this. I know I never read it before today but for some reason I kept it. I'm glad that I did. This email has changed the way that I was feeling. I hope that if you are feeling down it does the same for you.

Thank you Marlon, I miss and love you.

Ten Guidelines From God

Effective Immediately,

please be aware that there are changes YOU need

to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be

completed in order that I may fulfill My promises

to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in

this life. I apologize for any inconvenience,

but after all that I am doing, this seems very

little to ask of you. Please, follow

these 10 guidelines

1. QUIT WORRYING:
Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit
and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here
to take all your burdens and carry them for you?
Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little
thing that comes your way?

2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:
Something needs done or taken care of. Put it
on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY
to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care
of the problem.. I can't help you until you turn
it over to Me. And although My to-do-list
is long, I am after all... God. I can take care
of anything you put into My hands. In fact,
if the truth were ever really known, I take
care of a lot of things for you that you never
even realize.

3. TRUST ME:
Once you've given your burdens to Me,
quit trying to take them back. Trust in
Me. Have the faith that I will take care of
all your needs, your problems and your trials.
Problems with the kids? Put them on My list.
Problem with finances? Put it on My list.
Problems with your emotional roller coaster?
For My sake, put it on My list. I want to
help you. All you have to do is ask.

4. LEAVE IT ALONE:
Don't wake up one morning and say,
"Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think
I can handle it from here." Why do you think
you are feeling stronger now? It's simple.
You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking
care of them. I also renew your strength
and cover you in my peace. Don't you
know that if I give you these problems back,
you will be right back where you started?
Leave them with Me and forget about
them. Just let Me do my job.

5. TALK TO ME:
I want you to forget a lot of things...
Forget what was making you crazy.
Forget the worry and the fretting because
you know I'm in control. But there's one
thing I pray you never forget. Please, don't
forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU!
I want to hear your voice. I want you to
include Me in on the things going on in your life.
I want to hear you talk about your friends
and family. Prayer is simply you having
a conversation with Me. I want to be your
dearest friend..

6. HAVE FAITH:
I see a lot of things from up here that you
can't see from where you are. Have faith in
Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me;
you wouldn't want the view from My eyes.
I will continue to care for you, watch over you,
and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me.
Although I have a much bigger task than you,
it seems as if you have so much trouble just
doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

7. SHARE:
You were taught to share when you were
only two years old. When did you forget?
That rule still applies. Share with those who are
less fortunate than you. Share your joy with
those who need encouragement. Share your
laughter with those who haven't heard any in
such a long time. Share your tears with those
who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith
with those who have none.

8. BE PATIENT:
I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime
you could have so many diverse experiences.
You grow from a child to an adult, have children,
change jobs many times, learn many trades,
travel to so many places, meet thousands
of people, and experience so much. How can
you be so impatient then when it takes Me
a little longer than you expect to handle
something on My to-do-list? Trust in My
timing, for My timing is perfect. Just
because I created the entire universe in
only six days, everyone thinks I should
always rush, rush, rush.

9. BE KIND :
Be kind to others, for I love them just
as much as I love you. They may not dress
like you, or talk like you, or live the same way
you do, but I still love you all. Please try
to get along, for My sake. I created each
of you different in some way. It would be
too boring if you were all identical.
Please, know I love each of your differences.

10.. LOVE YOURSELF:
As much as I love you, how can you not
love yourself? You were created by me for
one reason only -- to be loved, and to love
in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me.
Love your neighbors. But also love yourself.
It makes My heart ache when I see you
so angry with yourself when things go
wrong. You are very precious to me.
Don't ever forget......

Lord I'm Tired

2012-01-08T14:28:00.000-08:00

I am so tired mentally. I'm feeling like I'm falling into a bit of depression and all because of a work environment that is sucking the life out of me.

People always tell you that when you don't like your job anymore to find out what you are passionate about. I understand that statement but at the same time it is overwhelming. I can be passionate about something but the overwhelming part is that that is not what I'm currently doing. Hence, to start doing that thing will mean a big change to your lifestyle. Usually, because when starting something new you won't get the same type of money that you are currently getting in your job.

Maybe it wouldn't be so overwhelming if I had a safety net. Family or someone I could move in with while changing a career. But who wants to put that burden on someone. I'm used to having my space and I know everyone else does too. How can you do such a thing and not know how long it might take for your passion-filled new career to take off.

I know that what I am going to have to do is figure out what I want to do with my life. Unfortunately, I think it's going to be a drastic change.

I wonder if I'm the only one that feels this way? Do Black men feel like they are asked to adhere to a different standard than their co-workers? Do you feel like co-workers can talk to you in a particular manner that may not be the most polite...but if you do it then you are told that you are an angry person. Do you feel like you are given duties that you're co-workers aren't and without the benefit of clear instruction or resources?

I know I do. The challenge is making a change to something where I won't feel these things. A challenge because of the invested time I've spent in a company that holds a pension for me, 401k and the benefits of being a long term employee. Companies have created flat organizations these days. All this means is that there aren't as many positions or levels to move through and if you do change positions then we don't have to fit you into a salary grade because basically all jobs have the she title. Therefore, you garner little additional money and are systematically moving laterally within the company.

I know I'm ranting without telling all the details of my current situation...but ya see. I' just tired. Tired of fighting for what's right, tired of fighting co-workers who are trying to compete with me and I don't want to compete. Tired of talking about it, tired of my love having to see me looking as if something heavy is on my mind that he can't do anything about.

So I say Lord I'm Tired. Please help me get through this and shed light on my passion and let happiness rule my life.

Happy Holidays

2011-12-26T18:28:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays Blog world from D-Place. Turn the world upside down in the new year!

Art Show

2011-11-23T15:55:00.001-08:00

I had my 1st Art Exhibit last weekend. There was a lot of working leading up to the event that I surprisingly remained calm throughout. I showed approximately 50 pieces.

Just like during an outside wedding it was pouring raining!! For a minute there I thought not very many people would attend. A lot that were invited didn't attend. However, approximately 70 people showed up and the event was a success. I answered lots of questions about my work, how it was created, what my inspiration was etc. People even wanted to buy some of the pieces. I just wasn't prepared for that. I just wanted people that didn't know to see another side of me. And for me to see what people thought of my work.

Well a lot they liked. Of course in situations like that you won't hear negative comments unless something just went terribly wrong with catering or something of that nature. All that was in tact. It's wasn't my 1st time throwing a party so I knew what to do as far as that goes.

Now the question is what do I do with the work I produced. There was definite interest. A few times in the same piece. How do artist handle that? I have no mentors in this field to go to find out the best way to handle such situations. So again, I'm on my own to figure it out. And that I WILL DO!

I think what I'm going to do is to create an auction website. Several people wanted the Original of the same pieces. I think when you're a new artist selling your work people tend to want to take advantage of you. So they hope that you are going to see your work at a low price. Pricing in itself is a difficult thing to gauge that makes me very uncomfortable. Another thing I'll just have to get over! I figured an auction would take some of the pressure off of me and allow bidders to determine how much they really want something, not without considering the minimum price I'd be willing to let things go for. I still want to make sure it's classy so I won't be doing this on eBaby or anything like that.

That's the other thing...letting go. I'm so used to painting things and they then become my babies so to speak. How can I let them go. Well I practiced by giving a couple of things away. However, now I have so many in the house that I just can't keep all of them.

Next step, get giclee's, lithographs or something made so I can at least have one for myself of each one then I think I'll be able to let the originals go.

Does anybody out there have any advice on any of the things I rambled about above. Pricing, Auction sites anything...LOL I hate this business part of creating art. sigh.

Happy, Safe, Weird and Grateful

2011-10-23T18:14:00.000-07:00

I've been dating someone. Things have been progressing organically well. Organic..he brought that word into our discussion about our current state.

I feel happy, safe, weird and grateful.

Happy because this brotha makes me smile!
Safe - Why is that even an issue for me at the age that I am right now but that's the word that came out of my head. I feel like he's trustworthy.
Weird because I've never dated anyone except for my 1st that I didn't use any qualifiers to describe them. You know...I like him but he just got laid off, he's nice to me but his mother is his best friend and takes up a lot of his time...etc...you get the gist.
Grateful that he is thoughtful and thinks about me and lets me know it even when he's not around.

I have a saying that I always use...Enjoy the moment...Well right now I am not only enjoying the moments I am looking forward and anticipating the moments with him.

Things are easy with him. I must say I put into the universe awhile ago that I wanted to be with someone that it would be easy to get to know. From our 1st date the conversation flowed for 4 hours when I think we both thought it might be an hour drink at a local bar.

This is different for me and I'm relishing in it. Speak into existence what it is you really want and it shall be yours.

It's scary writing things like this because my old self would say, now watch this end in a few more weeks. Throwing that negativity away cuz this feels real. I'm not naive by any stretch of the word and I am paying attention to the things he says and does. They all match! No question that I've asked has he not answered straightfowardly. No flags of doubt have surfaced. This feels good.

Facebook Joke

2011-09-04T22:57:00.000-07:00

Father: Son I added you as a friend on Facebook.

Son: (rolls his eyes while father's not looking) WTF!!

Father: What does that mean???

Son: Welcome to Facebook!

The Help

2011-08-14T22:35:00.001-07:00

If you haven't read the book The Help, you should. It's funny, sad and distrubing. I read the book about 1 1/2 years ago and now as I'm sure you know its a movie. Just saw it today. I really enjoyed it. There were a lot of scenes left out of the book. However, if they had been left in the movie I think it would have been a looooooooooooong movie.

Anyway enjoy it!

Lemme Tell You This Nurse Joke

2011-04-14T16:58:00.000-07:00

Nurses aren't supposed to laugh...

"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse.

"I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," said Bob, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest male part the nurse had ever seen. In length and width was almost identical to a AA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out. Then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing.

Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the man's part, she composed herself as well as she could.

"I'm so sorry," she said..."I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise that won't happen again. Now tell me, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Bob replied.

She ran out of the room.

Aretha & Wendy

2011-03-04T20:00:00.001-08:00

I must say that Wendy Williams is really doing it up! I loved the interview she did with Aretha. It was real unlike most interviewers who have this attitude that they are better than the person they're interviewing and have more insight into the world than the person their talking to. As if anyone has any real insight to the world at all. You just gotta live it the best way you know how.

Anyway, Kudos to Wendy Williams on a great interview!

What you gonna do?

2011-01-05T22:54:00.001-08:00

Are you in a relationship where you questioned something? Was it something that he said, did, didn't say or doesn't do?

Did you ask what was going on with him?

Did he answer?

Now what you gonna do?

A Great Deal for the Holidays

2010-11-22T22:50:00.000-08:00

If you haven't heard about Groupon then you are missing out on having a good time at half the price (in most cases). What they do is offer deals in your city and others for Restaurants, Shopping, Trips, you name it. I have probably used about 7 of these Groupon coupons.

Keeping with the season I'm sharing with you all.

Click on the link above or the picture to either go to a new restaurant, get a massage or get your car detailed! Every city offers different deals...check out the deals in your city and have some fun this season.

Enjoy the holidays!

Colored

2010-11-06T01:32:00.000-07:00

I am old enough to remember when people referred to each other as colored. It's funny how it didn't mean very much back then and Black people weren't offended by it. I also, remember when being called colored was not a good thing, and Negro was the thing to be called. Then came Afro-American, Black and African-American. Our name changes signified change in our psyche.

No matter what we've been called we've suffered. Men and Women.

I saw the movie For Colored Girls today. If you've never read the book of poetry you should so that you hear it in your own voice and let it give you a vision of what the women in the poetry are feeling. When the book For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf was 1st published it was a voice for women who were in plain sight abused. I think if not for this voice Black women might see themselves differently than they do today. At least in their minds, if not in reality. In the past performances of this work the women do not interact. Personally I thought it was good to have them be connected in similar vein as the movie Crash.

Some reviewers will have you to believe that the story is dated and that some of the directorial choices are trite. See for yourselves and don't let others who have no reference whatsoever of some Black women's past that still exists but now covertly with subtle nuances that manage to hide the voices of Black women dealing with pain once again.

One might say that the poem and the movie paint a picture of Black men that we'd like to keep hidden not unlike our dirty laundry when company comes to visit. However, the images may offend and seem dramatic but in my opinion resonate a sickness that exists even today.

The performances in the movie were stellar. See for yourself before following a reviewer with probably no point of reference or color.

What can we do?

2010-10-21T11:29:00.000-07:00

I know that there has been a lot of media coverage about teen bullying and suicide. However, there seems to be a lot of talk about it but I don't really see anything being done to prevent it. This horrible trend is increasing rather than decreasing.

I had written a post about a young black man that reportedly committed suicide. I have since found out that it was a hoax. On top of all the disturbing things regarding teen suicide people are now playing games about it...disgusting.

Interestingly enough I can not find this article on the LGBTNATION's website anylonger. Maybe it's true that this article was false or a hoax. However, my comments related to this subject still stand, whether Terrell is a real victim or not.

Every channel has coverage about this trend, it's sensational, is appalling, it's heinous. Talking to parents about it doesn't seem to be the answer as I see it. Oprah asking parents to pay attention to their kids is not working either. Somehow these kids need to feel empowered to take action and protect themselves without fear of retribution.

Think

Speak

Act

Woody

2010-10-18T13:38:00.000-07:00

The new "Woody" winner of a West African Bodybuilding contest. I'm sure they didn't mean the same thing as we do here in the states when they came up with the name of this contest. However, I'm sure there is a lot of "wood" to see at these contests. LOL

Divas Simply Singing 2010

2010-10-11T23:03:00.000-07:00

I attended Diva's Simply Singing again this year. For the life of me I don't know why this show is not on television. Then again maybe I do...that doesn't make it right though. View the youtube video below of little Harmony interviewing some of the Divas prior to the event. You'll also have the opportunity to listen to snippets of their performances. Some of my favorite Divas performed this year...Ledisi, Kelly Price, Chaka Khan, Shanice & her mother, Jodi Watley, Teena Marie & her daughter who performed (yes she can sang!), Debra Cox and more.

Enjoy!

So Glad It's Friday

2010-08-20T21:59:00.000-07:00

Y'all! I'm glad it's Friday. Enjoy your weekend.

Happy Birthday Leo's!!

2010-08-09T13:02:00.001-07:00

This is gonna be a good year for Leo's! Last year had some adventures but this year will be major! Hee hee Is that wishful thinking??

Do it your way

2010-08-03T00:58:00.000-07:00

It's time to do it your way. I don't care what it is. Do it your way. Others may not like the way you do it. But it's you that you live for. It's you that you must please.

A Leo Day

2010-07-18T18:09:00.001-07:00

A friend called me a couple of days ago and told me that he wanted to give me and a girlfriend of ours our birthday presents early. All 3 of us are Leos. So being the Leo's that she and I are we wanted more information. What should we wear, where are you taking us, what is the all about, etc. Well our Leo friend was not giving up any information except to be at his house at 2pm on Saturday.

Of course I was running a little late because I live on the other side of town and L.A. traffic was horrendous due to the warm weather we've been having. Everyone was out. So at 2pm when I called to tell him that I was approximately 15 mins away. He boomed into the phone, "You're going to ruin the surprise!" Ok I said, I'll hurry as fast as I can.

When I arrived at his house I noticed the that big picture window's curtains were drawn. I don't think I've ever seen these curtains closed. OMG what is he up to I thought. I rang the door and he opened up the 4 inch door within the door to peer out at me. What is going on??? He just said are you ready. Now if anyone knows a Leo you know that we do not liked to be surprised. Well I take that back we just don't like to know that there is a surprise waiting for us. If you're going to surprise a Leo just do it don't tell them you're going to surprise them.

He opens the door finally and he's standing there in a beautiful black and gold robe. As I walked in to the side of him was a Hispanic man with a chiseled body in black boxer briefs and holding another robe for me. He man put the robe on me and guided me into the next room. When I walked in I saw my girlfriend laying on a massage table being massaged by a very attractive brother dressed only in briefs. My mouth dropped.

My friend had paid for massages for the 3 of us. I was given a Mimosa, chocolate covered strawberries, cheese, crackers, salami slices and other fruit. I was to say the least in a state of shock. In fact I was finding myself nervous. I had never received a professional massage before. I'd always been a little fearful of someone other than a lover touching my body. As my girlfriend's massage was finishing it was my turn next. I changed into only my underwear and robe.

As I disrobed and laid on the table the massage began and my heart was racing. However, once this brotha began massaging me I felt a sense of relaxation that was far from what my imagination attempted to make me believe. I was nearly asleep by the end of the massage by this beautiful man. He was professional and I'm glad to say that my Massage Cherry was broken by a beautiful brotha.

Once he left we were lead to the dinning room that was decorated in choclate brown and white with a large vase full of boganvia floating in the water and cascading down the sides of the vase. We then were indulged with a light Chinese Chicken Salad and more libations. After we finished with our meal the 3 of us blew out the candles on our birthday cake.

What an absolutely wonderful surprise that I will never forget. Now I need to think what am I going to get my friend for his birthday! Lawd help!!!!

You Never Know How You Might Touch Someone

2010-07-03T14:49:00.000-07:00

I've included a youtube video as an example of how just a kind voice can do wonders for a person. Imagine when you are feeling really down. You know kinda like Sophia when was feeling mightly poorly and Celie helped her out in the grocery store. Sometimes gifts from God come in a moment that can change your life with just a small gesture of kindness.

Ms Davidson is an example of this. Shouldn't we all strive to make each other feel good instead of working to feel better than others?

Delightful, Unassuming and Dignified

2010-05-25T22:23:00.000-07:00

Delightful, Unassuming and Dignified is how I would describe the 3 authors that I met this evening. I attended a book reading at In The Meantime Men's Group discussion of Visible Lives - Three Stores in Tribute to E. Lynn Harris. In order of the characteristics mentioned above, Terrance Dean (Hiding in Hip Hop) , James Earl Hardy (B Boy Blues) and Stanley Bennett Clay (Looker) read excerpts from this piece of work.

It was a pleasure hearing them tell stories of their experience with E. Lynn Harris and what he meant to the literary world, the Black SGL community and to Black Gay authors like them and others. They wrote this book in tribute so that the memory of E. Lynn would not be just a tiny blurb in a newspaper or an insignificant footnote in our history.

I haven't started to read the book yet but from the excerpts I believe the book will be pure pleasure. The authors all read their excerpts in such a way that it left you wanting more. Just what a good author should do! If any of these authors are in your city please make an effort to go see them. You will walk away feeling proud and significant.

The host of the event described E. Lynn and the Authors of Visible Lives as Royalty. I beg to differ as I would describe them as legendary. They will all be celebrated in our future as pioneers. Being royalty doesn't mean that you've done anything but being born to a royal lineage or afforded privilege uncommon for most. It doesn't mean that you've contributed anything to the lives of anyone. These authors have done just that.

E. Lynn Harris, rest in peace.

Thinking of the Joy

2010-05-06T19:49:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about my friend Marlon that passed away recently and felt sad. I thought about the many many others that have passed on as well. Then I thought about the overwhelming feeling of joy and excitment that I'd experience when I see them all again.

I know it's strange to say but I almost feel excited about that time. Just think of it. All the family members and friends that you love and have such good memories about all being in one place with no judgments, drama or issues. Just together having a good time.

Man what a party that will be! Just imagine being in one place with all the people that have held a special place in your heart.

I hope this makes you smile thinking about who you'll see.

Interview with Dwayne Barnes

2010-04-04T21:57:00.000-07:00

I had the opportunity to interview Dwayne Barnes. Director and Producer of the Docu-Drama "Stranded in the Motor City" and here is the interview. Since I didn't like the sound of my voice I got a little creative check it out.

And if your in Atlanta check out the screening of the movie at the Atlanta Film Festival on April 17th. @12:15pm and April 21st. @ 3:00pm.

Marlon has gone Home.

2010-03-18T02:47:00.000-07:00

I'm devastated.

Dr. Marlon A. Collins has gone home. 10/20/80-03/16/10

You are greatly missed.

Daddy

2010-03-16T19:01:00.000-07:00

They say that you can blame who you are and how you behave on your environment. I'm not the closets in the world to my father and there's a lot that I could say to him. However, I don't think he would understand either why I felt the need to say them or what I said might hurt him. So I was just wondering if you could say one thing to your father what would it be?

I think I would say...You never REALLY paid attention.

Of course you can comment anonomously if you like.

Erykah is coming back

2010-03-05T17:44:00.001-08:00

We Are The World

2010-02-21T10:40:00.001-08:00

For some reason I think that this is the direction that Micheal Jackson would have preferred this song to go. So that not just celebrities do something for the world but all of us as individuals contribute to making a difference.

After listening to this how does it make you feel?

Jennifer Lewis

2010-02-14T12:35:00.001-08:00

If you have never seen one of Jennifer Lewis' one woman shows you are missing out on a laugh filled night. She's going to be here in LA again all this month with new show. Here's the invitation that was sent out for the show.

And she means it at the end of the invitation...DO NOT BE LATE! Cuz she really will cuss you out!

Change

2010-01-29T22:09:00.000-08:00

There is a cycle to any change. So lets say that someone feels love then finds out that the other doesn't love them..then that's the change that takes place and it's the dealing with the change that is difficult for individuals to manuever.

The 6 stages to the Change Cycle include:
1. Loss: Feeling of Fear, Thoughts are cautious, Behavior is paralyzed.
2. Doubt: Feeling of resentment, thoughsts are skeptical behavior is resistant.
3. Discomfort: Feeling of anxiety, thoughts are confused, Behavior is unproductive
4. Discovery: Feeling of Anticipation, Thoughts are creative, Behavior is energized.
5. Understanding: feeling of confidence, thoughts are pragmatic, behavior is productive.
6. Integration: Feeliing of satisfaction, thoughts are focused, behavior is generous.

The better you get at change the quicker you go through the 6 stages. The dangerous thing is that many people spend too much time between stages 3 & 4 which cause them to become stagnant and sometimes start back at stage 1.

The key is believing that you can get through the change.
A friends mother told me...there are 3 stroms of life...A storm is coming, your in the middle of storm, or coming out of one. Get yourself to get through these stages as quickly as possible. You'll be a lot better equiped to handle change without it affecting you adversely.

You'll observe in your own life that these stages of change happen in every change of your life.

Black History Continues

2010-01-22T13:23:00.000-08:00

I know I'm a little early for Black History Month. I was emailed the attached video and if you can I think you should send it to all that you know as well.

I know that the brothas and sisters of the blog world are very conscious, take pride in our history and make differences in ways that they may not even know to this world. I'm putting this video on my blog to remind us of our strength, courage and resiliency. We as bloggers do make a difference. So lets continue that by using this video as a reminder of who we are and what we are capable of.

I remember in elementary school after Martin Luther King died singing...We Shall Overcome. We have overcome many things since then, but isn't it time that we come together and continue to grow remembering that there continue to be obstacles and forces that may be in place to stunt our excellence?

A War For Your Soul-Birmingham version from Erisai Films on Vimeo.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2009-12-31T18:47:00.001-08:00

Missing Grandma

2009-12-27T18:54:00.000-08:00

I'm missing my Grandmother sooooo very much.

She taught me that anything that I want is mine. She loved all of us very much and her lesson was always that all my needs are already done.

I Got It!!

2009-12-19T19:01:00.001-08:00

If you didn't know I'm in a all male bookclub. Every year we usually have a Holiday Party for ourselves. This year our party was a lil different. Most times we'll have good music, food, lots of people and drankin! Just a fun time.

This year I decided to do something a little different. We played cards and we gambled. The game is called "I Got It". We had music, food, and lots of drankin but this time just a few people. About 12 people showed up. This is how the game is played. I think you and your friends will love it as much as we do.

I GOT IT RULES:

Bring your change (You might want to bring some bills too if the pot gets too high. We weren't accepting any IOUs dammit). Each player puts in a coin. (We started off with dimes. You can play with any denomination you wish, from pennies to dollar bills) The Dealer deals two cards to each player. You then must determine if you think you have the highest cards in the group.

Note: Ace is the higest card. However, double any card in the deck will beat an Ace. ( 2 -two's, 2-sixes etc) So lets say 2 people think they have it. One person has an Ace and a 9. Another has an Ace and a 8. The Ace and 9 wins. If both of the players had double cards 2-twos and 2-sixes. The 2-sixes win because of course they are higher than the twos.

Once everyone has their cards the question is asked around the group one at a time to the left of the dealer. "Do you have it?" Each player responds whether they have it or not. If a player says he has it, do not reveal your cards until everyone has responded. Once everyone has responded, the 1st person to say they have it must show at least 1 card. The each person after stating they have it must do the same. (this is really for drama..you could reveal both cards at the same time.) Then the 2nd card is revealed and the one who has the highest of the two cards or doubles collects the pot.

The Pot:

Here's the kicker!! The players that said they had it, but didn't must anty up the amount of money that is in the current pot for the next hand.

1st round - 4 people paying for dimes the 1st pot would be 40 cents. 2 people said they had it. The looser(s) must anty up 40 cents and the other 3 players anty up 10 cents. The next pot is now 70 cents.

So lets say in the 2nd round the same thing happens only 2 say they have it. The looser must anty up for the next round 70 cents. (See how fast the pot rises?)

Don't be scared though because if everyone says they don't have it and it gets back to the dealer he can say that he has it and could win with cards that he would never say he had it with if not in that position. For instance the dealer could win with a 3 and a 7. Now would you want that to happen?? So if you want to have some fun over the holidays try I Got It.

Oh yeah, you know how people are always coming late to parties? If you've already started a game the newcomers can't get in until no one says they have it and the dealer wins by default. I say you can make up your own rules on that one.

Another thing we did was to take a break from the game every hour. You know, bathroom breaks, drink breaks, more food break, and smoking of cigarettes and otha thangs.

Enjoy!!!

Happy Holidays

2009-12-14T21:56:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't been posting lately. Year end work is nothing nice. However, I would be amiss if I didn't wish all of you a very Happy Holiday Season. May you all remain safe throughout the season and the coming year!!!

The Holidays

2009-11-29T20:10:00.000-08:00

The Holidays have crept up on us once again. I hope you all had a very Happy Thanksgiving.

Mine was good and I ate like it was my last supper. I still feel it. I'm not going to do the same thing for xmas. I promise myself that. I'm going to start working on me a lil more...physically that is. Wish me luck. I've had my gym bag with clothes in the truck of my car for about 2 months and have not once stepped into the state of the art gym that was built for employees in my office building.

Something about working out with co-workers all around just seems weird to me. I don't want to see none of them nekked and don't want them to see me either. Just too weird. I heard there's one guy in the office that chooses to wait til people are in the locker room to have a conversation and talks to them butt ass naked. Throwing up in my mouth just thinking about that.

I gotta work through that working out with other employee thing. I'm going to set a date for myself right after the month end garbage that I have to do.

Well I hope you all didn't eat as much as I did for Thanksgiving. I won't be doing that for Christmas! I mean it! LOL

Happy Holidays to all of you in blog world. Wishing you the best that the season and year has to offer. Make the best of everything that you experience. Let the experiences soak in with a positive light.

Questions Again

2009-11-09T19:53:00.000-08:00

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
A newscaster and a great uncle

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Really cried when my grandmother passed away.

3. Do you like your handwriting?
Yes

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Bologna

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
No

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Oh yes - My best friend

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS ?
Yes

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
uhhhh no

10. Favorite Oatmeal
None hate that slop

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
How else are you going to get them off. dumb question.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Yes I do.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
McConnell's Cappucino Ice Cream....mmm

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their skin

15. RED OR PINK?
Red

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My Height

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST
Grandmother

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
Doesn't matter it's just something for people to think about.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Beige pants and brown shoes

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Some crackers...I better eat a real meal soon.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Fran Dresher on the Wendy Williams Show

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Blue

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Clean ones

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOu TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Some fool at work with a problem.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS?
yeah, He aight

26. Any Sport
Track & gymnastics

27. HAIR COLOR?
Dark Brown

28. EYE COLOR?
Brown

29. Do you wear contacts?
No

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Thai and Soul food

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Both

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Precious

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU wearing?
Blue

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Kisses

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
I was going to say cherry pie...but then I had the red velvet cheese cake at the Cheesecake Factory...mmmmm

37. What book are you reading now?
The Help by Kathryn Stockett

38. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Dell

391. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Desparate Housewives

40. FAVORITE SOUND
Ledisi Singing

41. GROUPS OR SOLO SINGER?
Solo

42. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Africa

43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I paint.

44. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Maryland

45. WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?
8:04pm

46. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PRAYED?
A few moments ago

47. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Time.

No Words

2009-11-02T23:07:00.000-08:00

No words describe how I felt about this performance other than the obvious. It made me feel like one of those times when you wish you could go back in time and make different decisions listening to this song and rendition. If I could go back to the time when Whitney sounded like this, I am sure my life would be somewhat different today. Makes you wonder what the turning point was when you end up going in that direction you now wish you could change.

Happy Halloween Dammit!

2009-10-31T20:20:00.000-07:00

I'm not one that goes to Halloween Parties a lot. However, this year I was kinda looking forward to it. I even got invited to 4 Halloween Parties!

Well no need for me to get all excited cuz I won't be going to any of them because of this damn month-end work that I have to do. I started the process at 9pm yesterday. The program took until 10:30 am this morning to complete. Then I have to run some reports on the data. Because this program is soooo crappy. It never picks up all the documents that it's supposed to. As it happens every F*$#ing month more than 1500 records have to be processed again. This took almost 4 hours and then still 1000 records still didn't run. Now I have to run these 1000 again. I'm sooo pissed about this mess. It has completely ruined my chance to have some fun on Halloween.

I'm writing on this blog while that bitchass program is running. Lawd let it take an hour. (wishful thinking)

Oh yeah I was going to be a Black Panther this year. I got the afro wig and errthang!

Anyway, Happy Hallo-damn-ween!!

Mama Knows Best

2009-10-04T14:16:00.000-07:00

Anyone that visits my blog knows that normally my post are related to Black Men. Sometimes a Black woman who can sing. Like Ledisi...I love you Ledisi..lol

Anyway I'm breaking that pattern for this. If you love music like I do I think you'll get goosebumps too.

On a social note why are we accepting the mediocre talent that the music industry puts out there with a hot beat to make a song hot but the singers really can't sing? I guess I know the answer...get a one hit wonder don't pay them much and get another one right after that. Real singers they'd have to pay for a long time and the expense would increase with their popularity. sigh what a world what a world...Wicked Witch of the East.

After Thought: I just found out the Jessica Cornish does have a record deal now with a U.S. Company. She's from the U.K. I'll be looking for her cd like crazy!

T-Shirts and Art

2009-09-26T14:26:00.001-07:00

As you know I like to get the word out about brothas I know who start their own businesses. Businesses of any kind. So check out CJ Juzang's ebay website. He is an artist and also some of his artwork he has put on t-shirts. Check him out if your interested in one of the shirts buy it!

I Got It! Do you??

2009-09-22T13:04:00.000-07:00

They Say

2009-09-14T21:19:00.001-07:00

They say that whole Kanye thing was planned. Some crazy scheme to get him out a his record deal. Masterminded by Beyonce's father. Hmmm I don't know ..don't really care just know that they all need peace of mind.

Kanye Lost

2009-09-14T00:21:00.000-07:00

Kanye West is lost. Who the hell does he think he is that he can speak for everyone. I think his behavior was completely inappropriate no matter what he thought about the results of the award. He offered an apology on his blog but who the F cares. Nigra you know you were wrong and if you can't see that you were wrong even when the muscles in your flat ass started to move to get out of your seat then you really gotta problem that requires intense psychoanalysis.

That's all I'm saying his behavior is not worth any future comment. See his weak ass apology by clicking the link below

WEAK ASS APOLOGY

Oh yeah!!! Beyonce gets KUDOS for her grace and generosity in giving Taylor her time. I guess the country girl does have some class and I'm glad to see it. Much respect to Beyonce!!!

Good But

2009-09-13T00:38:00.000-07:00

This video is good but for some reason I'm just not comfortable with it.

@ Yahoo! Video

Stranded In The Motor City

2009-08-30T22:05:00.000-07:00

The movie Precious is set to come out in November of this year. Precious from the book Push by Sapphire, looks at the struggles of a young girl living in the ghetto. In the book and movie you will see her march through the trials and tribulations of a life she did not choose. If you've read the book you know how moving the story is. To me Push takes you on a journey of life in the ghetto just like the book Native Son by Richard Wright. Even though you can empathize with the characters at the same time you know that it is a fictional story. Maybe that's what helps us to sleep at night.

Rarely do you see or hear the stories of real people fighting to survive this type of life. So can one really garner an understanding of what the circumstances are that caused them to be where they are or the strength to survive, change, and move?

Tonight I was at a friends and he showed me a trailer for a documentary that he wrote and directed. He will showcase it later this month. From the little bit that the tailer shows I can already tell that one will walk away with a greater understanding of this type of life. You will be educated and hopefully inspired to move. What movement? That depends on you and your strength. Please check out the trailer for his documentary Stranded in the Motor City. Also, Click this link to access the movies website.

Stranded In The Motor City

Go See It

2009-08-20T22:18:00.000-07:00

One of my all time favorite movies has always been the Bad Seed. The Bad Seed was made in 1956. (before I was born!!!) This movie is so good even today. You should check out this little girl in action if you haven't already.

There have been other movies that have copied off of the concept of this movie like The Good Son. However, they have not come close until now. Orphan is excellent, if you like this genre of movies. I do!

Orphan even has a little extra than the original Bad Seed. Go see this movie. I recommend you see the Bad Seed 1st though so you can get an idea of the type of movie that Orphan is. Ooooooh it was good! I'm buying this movie when it comes on DVD.

Fifty!

2009-08-11T23:18:00.000-07:00

It just hit me. In 47 mins I'll be 50 years old and 1 day! I really hadn't thought much about turning 50 because I was doing so much. Remodeling my kitchen and planning a bday party at the last min.

Everything turned out extremely well. The kitchen got done a week before the party. Although rushed and stressed I got the place cleaned up and started the preparation for my bday party. Everything was fantastic! I've never felt like this on my bday. Even though I didn't have a date. I felt like all the attention was on me. I'm a leo so you know we like that.

A few people asked me in my 50 years what have a learned. My answer is this. Appreciate everyone for who they are. See the differences in people and see how you can still be connected to them. My party was definitely an indication of differences. Many people from different backgrounds ages likes and dislikes. The amazing thing is that everyone had a wonderful time.

I didn't have candles on my cake...not because I didn't look for some the day of the party...I just couldn't find any close by. So when thanking everyone for attending I realized that I didn't need any candles because all the people that I love were there...and they were my light.

I'm starting a tradition ...no candles on bday cakes. Let those you invite be your light. Anyone in your life that does not shine brightly either light their fire or remove that candle from the cake of your life.

Below was a pic of me (told ya I wasn't keeping it up here long), and a little bit of the decorations I did to the house for my party. (those are gone too)

My New Crush

2009-08-06T03:11:00.000-07:00

This is Lytel Young the Host of Bang for the Buck a show on HGTV. He's my new crush. Can I have a crush at my age?? Hell yeah I can!

If someone has a picture of him without his shirt on will you please contact me immediately?

LOL

Now I feel bad

2009-08-03T01:21:00.000-07:00

I know some of the Beyonce-ites were a little upset with me for that last post. So to make yall feel better and to stop any harm from coming to me. I present Beyonce.

The reason I'm posting these nonsense posts is because I'm marinating on some other stuff of more importance to me. Hopefull it will flow from my fingertips to the keyboard and to this blog soon.

Just had to.

2009-07-29T02:27:00.001-07:00

You may have seen this already but I just found it. No words necessary.

Happy Jackie Washington Day!

2009-07-15T05:15:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again! It's Jackie Washington Day. I hope you celebrate in a good way. I'm going to wear my Holy Robe to work today. Hope nobody tries to get under it. And if you don't know what I'm taking about...then you're in the dark. So if you want to come into the light rent the movie Jackie's Back staring Jennifer Lewis.

Enjoy this clip of Jackie in her earlier days. You can also check out Jackie on her myspace page to see what she's up to. Just click on her name wherever you see it.

Once again Happy Jackie Washington's Day!

He Lit Up Stages

2009-06-25T23:39:00.000-07:00

To join everyone else, I hope that Micheal Jackson rests in peace in the loving arms of our Lord.

So many had so much to say about Micheal. Good and bad. I don't think that anyone can understand or will ever understand what he must have had to endure in his childhood or adulthood.

I understand that he was a shrewd business man. I'm sure he was named that because he was in control of his life and career. Some in this world tear people down who appear to be in control of their lives. So they pick and find little things and turn them into big things until one is whittled down in spirit. I didn't know Micheal personally but I would guess that his death was related to not only the prescription drugs that he might have taken but also due to stress.

Micheal meant a lot to the Black community as he was the 1st Black performer to perform in many countries around the world. Like the Supremes...all Black people rushed to see them on Black and White televisions and were all so proud. Proud as if we were relatives of the Supremes. I believe there appearance was a glimpse of hope for our future. A hope that Black people would be respected and seen. Through their performances doors opened for others. Micheal Jackson gained notoriety that got black people noticed around the world. He lit up stages around the world to mass appeal.

About Me

2009-06-21T13:06:00.000-07:00

Birthday: 8-11
Birthplace: Maryland
Current Location: At my desk
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: dark brown with a little grey :-(
Height: 5'8"
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: African-American
The Shoes You Wore Today: tan loafers
Your Weakness: oatmeal raisin cookies and ice cream and nipples
Your Fears: Birds
Your Perfect Pizza: meat lovers ..no anchovies!!
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: getting my kitchen redone
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: LOL
Thoughts First Waking Up: What am I going to do today
Your Best Physical Feature: My skin
Your Bedtime: when ever i start nodding or realize i gotta get up in the morning
Your Most Missed Memory: my best friend and i hanging out all day long
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: Burger King
Single or Group Dates: Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: neither
Do you Swear: Hell yeah
Do you Sing: I do but not well...and only for myself.
Do you Shower Daily: Yes there are those days on the weekends that I don't cuz i'm not going anywhere.
Have you Been in Love: Yes
Do you want to go to College: Finished
Do you want to get Married: Hmmm not sure
Do you believe in yourself: Yes I does!
Do you get Motion Sickness: uh huh
Do you think you are Attractive: Yes
Are you a Health Freak: I wish
Do you get along with your Parents: Sort of
Do you like Thunderstorms: no
Do you play an Instrument: My organ..hee hee
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes
In the past month have you Smoked: Yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Yes perscription for back pain
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Noooooooo anybody wanna set me up?
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes Beverly Center
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yuck hate fish
In the past month have you been on Stage: Yes
In the past month have you been Dumped: no u gotta have a date for that
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: Yep
Ever been called a Tease: When I was young...I don't play now
Ever been Beaten up: Hell to the Naw
Ever Shoplifted: yes I was young
How do you want to Die: In my sleep
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Rich
What country would you most like to Visit: Ghana again
Number of Drugs I have taken: Today? only 1
Number of CDs I own: too many to count
Number of Piercings: none
Number of Tattoos: none
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Don't regret anything. However wish I made some differnt choices.

In a Boy/Girl…
Favorite Eye Color: Green
Short or Long Hair: doesn't matter
Height, Tall or Short? either
Physique you like -Muscular, Athletic, Slender, a Few Extra Pounds, Large, Obese: Athletic or Slender

Hairy or smooth? Smooth

Now what about you????

Black People You Are Example for All

2009-06-03T18:56:00.000-07:00

I know that Black people all know this already...but We are the most admired and hated culture in the entire world!

Whew that was a harsh way of starting things off. Unfortunately, I feel that it is true. I'm not speaking for anyone but myself or am I? I think it's a true compliment to be imitated. At the same time I sometimes feel as if anything that Black people create is in some way stolen from us. It's fine for us to take pride in knowing that we created a thing. What is wrong is when we are not acknowledged for it. Somethings even if we aren't acknowledged, there's just no way it can be denied where it came from.

When people of other cultures adopt what we have created. They are looked at in aw as an amazing talent. There's some truth to that because Black people are extra amazing people and if anyone can imitate us and that imitation is believeable then they deserve praise.

I give God the praise for creating us in his image. I googled "in God's image" and found a site where it asked people in a forum what that meant. There were many good answers. However this answer supports what I'm trying to convey.

"Quite literally the word translated"image" means shadow.We are shadows of an Extra-Dimensional Super Intelligence. It means we are something like Him But without the power or exterior effectiveness of the Overmind. We can Love, and hate and fight and cherish, but we can never love everything that ever was or will be. We are reflections or images of the Originator, but we are all the more so when we try to be like Him. even as children are the image of their parents That is in truth what it mean to be in His Image. It also means that we fall under His shadow of protection. "

If this is true then does that mean all the other cultures are made in Black people's image? At least that would support some of my earlier statements. Hee hee. I'm going to say yes, it does mean that.

See exhibit Z-9733908679209348387923430897848752-7845489498 below. Hope it makes you smile and tell the Lord that you love him!

Working Under Pressure

2009-06-02T22:22:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I only get to moving when I feel under pressure. What the hell is that all about? At work or at home it's the same thing. I know what needs to be done. In most cases I find all types of things to do that don't need to be done and sometimes o make more of a mess. That I end up having to take care of either at the same time or just before the task that really needs to be done.

Then when the date gets closer that something absolutely must be completed. That's when I jump into action. Mind you I jump complaining all the time that either I should have started this sooner or that this task is more than I thought it was.

Even right now. I need to have taken the trash out earlier. It's 11:38pm and I thought about this from the moment that I got home. However, I have watched tv, took a nap, made more trash but still not taken it out. I'm on here blogging about it. After I finish this blog I'm going to put my shoes on get all the trash together. Make all that noise that the trash cans make rolling them to the curb.

In the end it all comes out ok. Just wish I had the motivation to do things a lot earlier than I do.
I just get so distracted. I know there's a reason for this that I intend to explore..but right now I gotta take the trash out.

Does anybody have any tips for my motivational issues?????????????

What sign are you?

2009-05-26T01:09:00.001-07:00

I'm a Leo.

I remember years ago this used to be the 1st question a lot of people would ask you upon meeting them. I don't think it happens as much these days. I don't ask it much but eventually I do get around to it. Only because there are a couple of signs that I feel I need to temper my relationships with. Not that I won't befriend them but getting into a relationship with one of them could be dissasterous for me. Just my experience.

What's your sign?

A Message From Morehouse

2009-05-20T06:44:00.000-07:00

I don't need to add anything to this. What do you think? I'd really like to know how people feel about this.

A Message From Morehouse

By Colbert I. King

Eliminate young African American men, and what would police, jailers,social workers, and sports and entertainment moguls do for a living?

After all, young black men live to get in trouble, make babies, actout on stage, slam-dunk and dance in the end zone. That, at least, isthe mass-media-influenced image that is accepted as "authentic" by people who should know better.

Someone who does know better is Robert M. Franklin, the president of Morehouse College, the venerable, all-male, historically black Atlanta college noted for building up and turning out generations of outstanding leaders such as Martin Luther King Jr., the theologian and writer Howard W. Thurman, and prominent D.C. lawyer James L. Hudson.

Franklin's remarks to students at an April 21 town hall meeting on thecampus didn't make headlines. But excerpts from "The Soul of Morehouse and the Future of the Mystique" are making the rounds in African American homes and in social settings, thanks to the Internet and a communications phenomenon called the "black express," which preceded and outlives the Pony Express.

Franklin's speech focused on Morehouse students. But his message has caught on because it speaks to a larger community of up-and-coming young black men who are studiously ignored by arbiters of popular culture.

He translated the mystique into eight simple words: "Renaissance men with social conscience and global perspective."

Franklin said that after two years at the college, he had recognized acritical ingredient that bonds Morehouse men: a fundamental sense of discontent with mediocrity and nonsense. He encouraged the continued development of young black men "so sensitive to the presence of disorder, mediocrity and injustice that they cannot sleep well at night." And he used the moment to take on what he views as the corruption that threatens the soul of young men and women "inside and outside the Morehouse village": the young black male antics so celebrated by popular culture. That conduct, he suggested, represents the behavior of "the spiritually ill and disoriented.

"He demanded, that students instead embrace his "Five Wells":well-read, well-spoken, well-traveled, well-dressed and well-balanced. And he highlighted three: reading, speech, and dress.

"I have seen too many students standing in lines wasting time. You should carry something to read and make good use of your down time. Read books, not just summaries of books. Choose an accomplished and prolific writer as a role model," he declared. "But just as important-- if not more -- study grammar and syntax and the art of composition. Learn the power of accurately constructed sentences andwell-positioned words."

"It matters," he said, "how well you write."

He spoke of choosing words carefully.

"This reduces the necessity of relying on profanity or empty verbal placeholders like, 'um, um, ahh . . . ' or nonsense like 'you knowwhat I'm saying?' "Profanity does not reflect your verbal grace and style," he said. "It suggests a lazy mind.

"Franklin's thoughts on diversity and decorum are required reading.

"As an all-male institution with the explicit mission of educating menwith disciplined minds," said Franklin, "the great challenge of this moment in history is our diversity of sexual orientation."

"Why don't we," he asked the students, "use this opportunity to model something our community needs?"

"Straight men," Franklin said, "should learn more about the outlooksa nd contributions of gay men. Read a book by a gay author. Have an intelligent conversation with a gay neighbor." Franklin reminded theMorehouse students: "At a time when it was truly scandalous to have homosexual friends or associates, Dr. King looked to Bayard Rustin, ablack gay man, as a trusted adviser. And, Malcolm X regarded James Baldwin, a black gay man, as a brilliant chronicler of the black experience."

"To my straight brothers," he said, "diversity at Morehouse is an opportunity that can enrich your education if you are courageous enough to seize the opportunity. We cannot force you, but we invite you to learn from your environment."

On decorum and dress: "I have not desired to be overly prescriptive about this. You do not have to wear a tie and jacket to class, although no one would object to it. You're a college student. You can enjoy yourself while wearing comfortable clothing that respects the fact that you are part of a community of educated and ethical men. "But, he demanded, "in the presence of adult learners, do not sag your pants, do not show your undergarments. Do not wear do-rags, and do not wear baseball caps in class or in the cafeteria."

"Wear what you wish to off campus," he said. "But, while you are here on the ground where [Benjamin] Mays and Martin [Luther King Jr.] and Maynard [Jackson] walked, those items are off limits."

"If you want to be part of something rare and noble, something that the world has not often seen -- a community of educated, ethical, disciplined black men more powerful than a standing army -- then you've come to the right place."

To the knuckleheads and clowns who exploit their color while degrading their legacy, Franklin declared: "If you cannot follow the guidelines of a moral community, then leave."

Let the church say "Amen."

kingc@washpost.com

ow ow ow ow ow ow

2009-05-13T18:52:00.000-07:00

Well I'm sure you can guess that if I'm writing a post that I didn't win the damn Lottery! Grrrrrrrrr I'm mad about that but must push on.

Instead of winning the lottery I got back pain. Dammit. I was trying to move this cement bench top that I have in my yard. There were some guys here putting up new fencing and they didn't put the bench back together. I think I know why now! Well I bent over to lift it..(obviously not the right way) and realized that this damn thing is heavy. So the little bit that I lifted it off the ground I quickly put it back down. I didn't feel any pain at the time just went on about my business. Well the next morning when I woke up I could barely get out of the bed! What the hell. At the time I didn't even remember the bench it took me almost 4 days to realize that that's what had happened. Is that a sign of age...lawd it probably is. sigh.

Anyway, my back was OK for most of the week except getting out of bed. That is until Friday when it was hurting all day long. So 2 Saturdays ago I went to Rite Aid and asked the Pharmacist what I should take that was over the counter. Motrin she said and take 3 tablets. Well I read the directions and it said to take 1 or 2 if 1 didn't help. So I figured the drug companies know what they are talking about and took 1. Well within a half hour I was feeling fine. That is until Monday when it took me a couple of hours before the back pain subsided. Then I went into work. On Tuesday, the pills didn't help and I was at work feeling like OMG! So I left early to make an appointment with the doctor. Of course my Doctor was unavailable so I had to go to Urgent Care. The Motrin had kicked in again so I was OK but the Doctor I saw gave me a prescription for muscle relaxer and Ibuprofen. Thank God he also gave me a Doctor's excuse cuz I was in hella pain this morning. It's been almost 12 hours and I'm finally feeling like I can walk about ok.

I was reading online something that said walking helps so I'm going to head out in a minute to return some lamp shades that don't fit. That makes no damn sense to me. Why wouldn't any lamp shade fit on to any lamp. It may not look right but they all should fit. So I'm back to playing the lottery and of course someone won the money after it went up to $200 mil or something. I think 3 tickets won. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Oh Yeah En Vogue is trying to come back. Good luck girls!

$181 Million Dollars!

2009-04-29T00:33:00.000-07:00

The Mega lottery is $181 Million dayum dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want that muuuuthaaa fukin money dammit!

And when I get it this is the 1st thing I'm buying...i know black people are always buying shit. I'm no different..LOL

And if I can find out where this house is that the Bentley is parked at, I'm getting that too!!!!

Sorry for all the cussin...I'm just sick of this economy...my 401k is suffering and I need to use that for the naked dancers to lead me down my spiral staircase and drop it on the stairs for me to walk on as I greet everyone at my I ain't workin no dayum more party!!!!!!

American Violet

2009-04-20T22:11:00.000-07:00

I don't usually do movie reviews. However, I went to see American Violet tonight and it is an excellent movie. Correct me if I'm wrong but I haven't seen a movie like this in years and I think it is well overdue. Unfortunately, many will probably not get to see it until it is cranked out on to DVD and by that time may have forgotten about it.

The movie addresses the injustice that occurs in our legal system. The story is based on a true story about Dee Roberts in the year 2000. Of course I don't know what city all those that read my blog reside, so you may have a difficult time finding a theater that this movie is playing in. I'm in Los Angeles and it's only playing in a very few theaters. So I know in some cities you probably won't even have it playing at all. I checked in South Carolina and it's not there at all. Maybe they thought it might cause a civil unrest as I'm sure that subject addressed in this movie are probably still happening.

At any rate if it is not playing in your city and you can't go see it right now. Wait for it to come on DVD and do yourself a favor and see it. If nothing else you'll learn that things from the civil rights movement have changed things but that just caused racists to use different tactics to abuse Black people.

You can see the trailer by clicking on the link for American Violet.

What Now?

2009-04-15T00:29:00.000-07:00

I'm bored

Unmotivated

and simply just don't know what to do next.

I don't even really have anything to say right now.

Oh I could talk about Lil Kim on Dancing with the Stars. She did a good job...ok enough of that.

I could talk about A Catholic school not wanting Obama to deliver the commencement speech. For what purpose though? The news shouldn't even be talking about that.

I could talk about how I still haven't made a decision on the colors I want to paint my bedrooms. Or do I really need a new washer and dryer or hardwood floors in my living room. Don't think you care about that.

So then I'll just leave this post now by simply saying..Hello fellow bloggers.

Done Enough

2009-04-07T17:29:00.000-07:00

I know y'all have probably already seen this clip from the Bobby Jones show with Fantasia and her Mother singing. But I just had to share it again. I can testify myself that if the Lord has done everything that he plans to do for me then he has done enough. I have been blessed in so many ways and am so very thankful. We should all remember to be thankful.

I don't want to bring up Africa in every post I make for the next 6 months but I think that that trip was indication in so many ways why I need to give thanks. All expenses were paid for me, I met some incredibly self-sustaining, kind people, a connection to my ancestors was realized and I came home and still am able to sustain myself without difficulty in these trying economic times. I have a Mercedes Benz that I was able to pay for in cash, I own my own home and he has kept me safe from harm. So I say thank you!!

Not only has the Lord done enough. He is able and willing to do even more because he loves us. All we have to do is ask and have faith that he will supply us our every need.

I'm not looking at my blessings pridefully. I know that even if I did not have the material things or the experiences that I've had, that the Lord would still ensure my security. I have faith that he loves me and will protect me for all the days of my life.

So this is why I know that if he is done doing things for me then he has done enough!

Black

2009-03-31T21:50:00.000-07:00

After being in Africa I learned some things.

I learned where some of the traditions that we have today came from. The funny thing is that many of the traditions or rituals that we have I don't think we really know where we got them from. When we visited the chief we had to bring him a bottle of schnapps. This was used for the pouring of libations. Whenever there is a ceremony there is a pouring of libations. In this tradition what happens is the chief holds a glass of schnapps up to thank god and then pours some on the ground for the ancestors before he takes a sip himself. This is very similiar to what people do when the pour some liquor on the ground for the homies that are gone. When I learned this it made me think that someone heard about this ritual but somehow misinterpreted it a little. But yet and still it's done and it came from Africa. They talked about Ghanian time...which is the same thing as CP time (colored people time). You've heard the saying that it takes a villiage to raise a child. You probably even lived that growing up and being reprimanded by a neighbor or someone not of your family but that knows your family. We it doesn't have to be said in Africa it's just done. Children roamed around the villiage alone with no fear of being harmed because there is always someone watching and taking care of them. This is where we got that from too.

Even with these traditions or rituals that we were able to hold on to and not knowing why necessarily. We still somehow were able to hold on to things that slave masters couldn't take from us. Now that's just a couple of things that I found similiar but there are more.

You may have read or heard a Black person reciting in a poem or stated in a book or some other source that we are Kings and Queens. I have even said it before in my blog. What I realized while in Africa is that we are not all Kings and Queens and that was evident to me by the hierarchy of things that I saw. So I will no longer refer to myself as a King or anyone else that is Black as King or Queen because the truth of the matter is that I just really don't know. The one thing that I do know and as sad as it is this is one thing that all Black people in America, Spain, or anywhere else in the world can be proud of is that those slaves that were taken from Africa and survived the horrific circumstances that they did were the strongest of Africans. While visiting one of the slave castles the African guide made this quite clear. Not only did they survive the unsanitary and inhumane transportation but even surviving the time spent in the slave castle was indication of their strength. 100s of African men, women and children positioned in rooms with little space to move. There were no bathrooms for the slaves to relieve themselves or places for women to clean themselves when menstruating. So the stench of all this they endured in rooms approximately 500 square feet holding upwards of 200 people, in tightly packed rooms in the castle and also on the ships.

We are who we are and can be proud of our ancestors and know that even if we couldn't survive what they did then today...it's possible that wherever that strength came from is the continued strength that our slave ancestors and beyond had that now affords us some of the liberties that we have today. If you didn't know before you should know now that we come from strong people. Be proud of that because the strength that they had is still in us.

Somkey Robinson recited a poem on Def Comedy Jam sometime ago. Take a listen.

So Much To Tell

2009-03-23T10:27:00.000-07:00

I have so much to tell and have had so many experiences since I've been here in Ghana. The one thing I can honestly say is...when I thought that intially the people were not friendly...I was dead wrong...those were people from London on the plane with us.

The people in Ghana everywhere that we have gone are so nice and helpful. Some are being nice to get you to buy there stuff. But even when you say no they don't get an attitude and still smile and wave at you. The average wage here for most people is less than $100 a month. Can you imagine living on that. Well if you lived here you probalby could..but certainly not in conditions that I'm sure you would relish. There are some very rich people here and it's a shame that they don't do more for the people that are poor. I guess we face that same thing in the states though.

The conditions at the orphanage we visited were deplorable to say the least. The children ate off of the filthy floors wearing filthy clothes and wanting attention like you wouldn't believe. The orphange we visited is government run and have probably 6 staff members for over 100 babies and children. The matresses on the beds are horrible the bathrooms, a disgusting site that would cause you to gag. Some of the people here have gotten money together to purchase mattresses and pay people in the community where we built the houses to clean the orphanage. I think the beds are a good idea but the cleaning will only last a short while. More needs to be done as the government only supplies the staff with their small pay and does not pay for medical expenses for the children. Many badly need it. Even this child with Cerebral Palsy was felt joy just to be touched. His smile is so wide and he crawls around the floor to get close to you. He has no idea of the care he could have in the states so he smiles because someone notices him and touches him. I spent a lot of time with him just to make him as if someone cared. I don't know if that was a good or bad thing because he probably won't receive attention like that again in a long time.

Other than that the experience has been overwhelmingly wonderful!

Had a Headache today

2009-03-19T10:21:00.000-07:00

Today started off as a good day and we made it to the worksite at 7am. Before we could even get started working a commotion occurred. One of the women from a different country who is also one of the leads of this project (I'm the other lead for the USA Team) decided she would go to the airport to meet our Vice President who was coming in town today. Well that's just not right. I should have said something sooner but I didn't. It's just simple protocol if and executive that you works with comes to another country if there is someone from his country there they should meet him at the airport. Well this upset the woman. I think she was attempting to make some power move, felt like this is her project and she's controlling things, or felt like she friends with the VP. But in fact she is not friends with him nor is she in charge of anyone. I had to let her know that in the nicest way I knew how. Especially when she hung up on me when I was explaining this to her. If I were a woman I would have socked her in the face as soon as I saw her. I thought about how I would act on our way to the airport.

She wasn't making it easy. She refused to speak to me so I waited until after we picked up my VP and got back to the hotel for him to change. While he was chaning I addressed her and let her know in no uncertain terms that she needed to remember the big picture of this situation. We are on a humanitarian project and it should not be about who is in charge but at the same time since my company is involved in this project there are certain protocol's that need to be followed. Whether she liked it or not. I also, told her to let it all go and we could regroup after the event is over to ensure that the progress we are making continues and so that the trip remains pleasant. (I really have matured!!)

Tonight we are going to a cultural event at a different hotel. So, I'm looking forward to that and will take some pictures. Other than that things are going smoothly and my appreciation for what I have and an understanding of what I can do with and without has truly come into focus for me.

2nd Day of Building

2009-03-17T10:32:00.000-07:00

We have been building for 2 days now. The frist day was hard for some, including myself. The heat took a little getting used to and I had not eaten enough breakfast to sustatain myself. I took longer breaks than everyone else. The 2nd day of building I was much better prepared.

Here's a small view of what's happening here. Kumai is many things. It is beautiful and sad all at the same time. There is so much help that is needed here. The orphanage visit was an eye opener. The standards of the building would have cause it to be shut down in seconds in the states. Filthy cribs for babies and I believe that some of the children actually sleep on the floor. I didn't see any blankets around or anything like that. Just bare floors. I didn't see toys for them to play with either. We brought some toys for the children to have on our fist visit. They seemed so unfamiliar with toys that it was obvious that they didn't know what to do with them. They were all starving for attention. For us in the states this would seem like child cruelity. In this region the most important thing is to have a place where the children can be safe and get something to eat. Anything else is extra. Also, when things are donated to the orphanage we are not positive that they children see them. It's possible that material things are being sold. We have no proof of that however. We will be going back again to deliver some of the backpacks and other items that hadn't arrived once we got here. We will probalby also be purchasing tiles so that the children have a more sanitary floor to play and sleep on. Right now it's just cement and a few wooden benches.

I would have had pictures of some of the children from the orphanage but the battery on my camera died that day. I'll have some of them when I return.

However, I do have these pictures of the houses we are building and some of the children that live in the villiage. I must say that my mind has changed about the friendliness of Ghananians. As we drive through the city children and some adults wave at us constantly. At the build site the curious children are always close by. Here are some pictures of them and some of the builders who are called Artisans. They are masons and carpenters.

Here's a pic of one of the guys that was digging a 20ft hole in the ground. He's probably about 5'7" tall but all the workers and most of the men that I've seen here are extremely fit. We as americans should be extremely ashamed of ourselves for the way we look. INCLUDING MYSELF! I mean it is rare to see man or woman that is overweight here. You will see more women that are heavier but I believe that's due to baby weight.

Kumasi

2009-03-15T02:46:00.000-07:00

We are in Kumasi now. It was a 6 hour drive over some rough roads. The internet service is pretty poor here. It's difficult to upload pictures and stay connected. Click the Flickr link to see some pics.

There's a lot more to write but we are on our way to the orphanage and have a meeting just before to prepare us.

Hope all are well.

I made it!

2009-03-13T05:50:00.000-07:00

Hello All,

I'm in Ghana! You know the saying it's hotter than a witches coochie. Let me tell you that her coochie is just luke warm. It's hot here. We got here about 10pm and it was 84 degrees and humid.

Right away you can see the poverty. People scrambling to help you with your bags almost taking them from you to get you in their taxis. I keep hearing about how friendly people are here but I haven't quite experienced that yet. I think the people are very elegant however. There is an air of sophistication about them all. They are regal in their manner no matter their life circumstances. You can however tell the rich from the poor here.

Rich is what was on the plane with us. It was quite a culture shock on the plane in London to Accra you could count the number of white people. I think I counted 6.

We'll be going into town later today to experience more of the city before we move on to another region. You know I love art and in the hotel there was an art gallery. They actually let me take picutes of it. The pictures in this blog are a part of the gallery and just a few of my favorites.

Whoooosh!

2009-03-11T12:45:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited I don't know what to do with myself. I've been packing for a couple of days now. Putting things in the bag taking things out. Reshuffling clothes etc.

Now today is the day that we take off. Tomorrow I will be in AFRICA!

I got online earlier today and a friend of mine that lives in NY hit me up. He's African and said that he is going to be in Accra towards the end of the month. How great is that! By the time he gets there is when we will have our free time to pretty much do whatever we want so this is perfect. I'll be able to hang out with him and see the side of Ghana that I was so nervous about before. Now I'll have no need to be nervous because I'll be with someone that I trust and knows his way around.

He keeps saying how fine the guys are there. Hopefully I'll have some pictures to show you to prove that fact!

Completely Over You

2009-03-02T23:49:00.000-08:00

When I first met him several thoughts danced in my head.

The words attractive, intelligent, sensitive, caring, honorable and sexy came to mind. These thoughts stayed in my head for quite some time. Even though some of the words that spilled from his lips showed thie idiotic logic, insecure tendencies, and misleading intent. I hung on to the initial words that filled my head. Whether it was what I wanted to hear and see really doesn't mean a thing any longer because now I'm so over him.

Finally my eyes opened and I could hear and see clearly that he was not the prince that I once thought.

In fact he became the forgotten soul that slithers near it's prey. Searching for anything that will make it feel as if its a prince. Devouring maliciously gifts bestowed upon him in appreciation for the falsehood that lies within.

I actually hadn't thought about him for several months then someone asked me about him today and I needed a minute to realize who they were talking about. Who? I said...The distastefulness in my mouth required me to spit. I only replied no we don't talk anymore and left it at that.

It struck me strange that I hadn't thought about him because at one time I thought my relationship with him would be something special. How wrong was I.

I got past the days of wanting to cuss him very quickly. As my motto goes..."Enjoy the moment". That moment was over long before it started when I think retrospectively about it. As he said he wasn't the man for me. That was the one truth he told.

For awhile I felt sorry for him and on some level I probably still do. Not because he's not with me. More so, because he is lost. He will encounter many because that is what he does...but none will stay long and even those that he has known long will not be loyal to him. For after awhile they realize too that he is not a prince but instead a forgotten soul filled with lies, misery, confusion, and delusions. He doesn't know it because they say it behind his back. His clandestine activities are ineffective in their camaflauge. More people know of his works than he even knows.

When the time comes that you can clearly see someone for who they are is when you know who you really are. I'm completely over him and my life is much better. The picture of him is clear in my mind. Especially since I am seeing him from the inside.

The lesson here is to put yourself first and listen with more than your heart.

Staring

2009-02-27T21:47:00.000-08:00

Do you ever go through times in your life where you find yourself staring at those around you. Whether it is people at work, friends or family. Sometimes you just wonder where are they really coming from? What is it that they are getting from me or need from me?

Sometimes when their mouths are moving I just sit there and stare. I just have no words. My trip is coming up soon and I am so looking forward to getting away from the lips moving and not saying shit!

Valentine

2009-02-14T19:23:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Last year I wrote this mushy valentine post. I don't regret anything I said on that post. That was a page in a chapter that is long completed. If there were book burners in life they would have ripped that chapter out to start the fire.

This year I'm sending love to all that read this post.

MUUUUUUUUAAAAAH!

Another Movie for Beyoncé

2009-02-11T01:12:00.000-08:00

Well Beyonce has another movie scheduled to come out on April 24th called Obsessed. It actually looks like it might be a decent movie. It stars she, Idris Elba and Ali Larter. Although some times movies look good in the trailer but could be a hot mess. Click on the word Obsessed to check out the trailer.

I just realized that Deonte'K posted on this movie too in January. Well I really have nothing else to say about it...don't want to make him mad...he thinks Beyonce is his 2nd wife..hee hee.

What did you want to be?

2009-02-08T20:18:00.000-08:00

Is there something that you had passion about when you were growing up that because of school or the necessity to survive you went down a path other than you initial passion?

When I was young I wanted to be a Carol Burnett dancer on her variety show. I know I'm dating myself but what the hell I don't look it! :-P There was only one black male dancer on the show and they always had him in the back. I just knew that if I was dancing on the show they'd have to put me in the front because I was so good. I can remember my brother saying to me that he thought I was going to join the Navy because of the Navy movies that I used to watch. Little did he realize, the navy movies that I was watching were of Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly portraying seaman and I used to watch those movies because I loved the dancing. Here's a clip of one of Carol Burnett's show's with the Jackson 5 performing. You'll see the black dancer in his normal spot in the back or far off to the left.

Although the show didn't have that much soul ...yeah that was what we said at the time...I still wanted to dance on it. You didn't see many black dancers at all on TV during these times. Now these clips show some black dancers with soul. If you want to go straight to the dancing go to about 2:40 mins

Patience

2009-01-31T23:47:00.001-08:00

I have been popping patience pills for awhile now. But lately I feel like I'm about to overdose. I haven't been blogging or reading blogs for a few days.

Since the new year I have worked my A$$ off. I'm being stressed to the limit with things that people expect of me and those that are disregarding me.

I remember years ago someone told me that I didn't know how to say no. So I learned but lately I feel like my lessons have been lost. I need to practice...no no no no no no, no dammit!

I hope to be back to normal next week. Sorry I haven't been around for a few days.

Oh yeah I almost got kicked off the Africa trip. I'll have to blog about that one of these days. Still pissed off about it. But I am going and can't wait!!!

Honored

2009-01-24T00:31:00.000-08:00

I was given an award and a very nice compliment that caused me to be at a loss for words. This is why...Moanerplicities gave me the Helping Hand award that you see to the left. I remember when I first started blogging I was doing it just to practice writing and to get some things off my chest. I guess I'm still doing that. I read many blogs and thru those blogs I found my own voice. Moanerplicities' blog was one that I always read and find it always soulful. I'm a soul child so that always turns me on. Right on to Moanerplicities!! :-) See the verbiage for the award and what those awarded should do next.

Receiving the Emblem in recognition for your mentoring, support, and encouragement to a fellow blogger is no small fete! It is evidence that you have gone well beyond the call of duty by your continued efforts to "leave the pile higher than you found it"! It is further evidence that your blog(s)has been identified as the epitome of excellence and is certainly admired.Thank you for your inspiration.

1. Simply Fred Smith - Thanks for getting me started!

2. Black

3. Just 4 Today

4. Fuzzy

5. Coming Into My Own - I call her Beautiful Black Butterfly

Receiving the Emblem from a seasoned blogger is a testimony to you that you're on the right track! That your voice is being heard. And there are those out here in the blogsphere that recognize your potential even if you don't. Keep up the good work, and remember to "Pay it Forward".Even though you may already be "seasoned", continue to inspire:

1. The Gayte-Keeper

2. Forever I Love Atlanta

3. Look At This Nigger

4. D'eonte K's Spot

5. A Day In The Life of Kendall

* I know I'm not supposed to do this but I want to give the award to all those in D-Favorite Places cuz they all inspire me. That's why their favorites. But the rules were to only list 10.

The Rules:

1. Select 10 bloggers: 5 you consider your blogging Helping Hand then "Pay it Forward" by extending your "Helping Hand" to 5 additional bloggers in support and encouragement for their efforts.

2. In passing on the Emblem, each recipient must provide the name of blog or blog author with a link for others to visit.Each recipient must show the Emblem and put the name and link to the blog that has given it to her or him.

3. Link the Emblem to this post: Helping Hand: Much Obliged and Paying it Forward so that others will know it origin and impetus.

4. If you have not already done so, show your recipients some love by adding them to your blog roll, Technorati Favorite list, or in any other way to further let them know that their blog voice is important to you and being heard.

5. Add your name to The Helping Hand meme and don't forget to leave a comment as a permanent record of all Helping Hand recipients.

6. Display the rules.

Happy Black President's Day!

2009-01-20T11:47:00.000-08:00

Happy Black President's Day yall!

As Martin Luther King, Jr and President Barack Obama used words of hope. So do I. I hope for small changes that make big impacts.

The picture in this post is the subject of my hope. Hope that young and old Black men will be seen in a new light. A light that doesn't focus on our faults, so vividly displayed by the media at every turn, but on the strengths of our character, creativity, intelligence, commitment and beauty.

I dreamed as did Martin of this day. I pray for healthy relationships, successful ambitions, meaningful lives, and abundant resiliency.

Times were very different..be thankful

2009-01-17T18:49:00.000-08:00

Not so very long ago things in America were very different. About 20 years ago when people were dying like flies from AIDS their going home celebrations were not always dignified. Here's an example:

Vernon

Vernon a gay man served in the armed forces. I met Vernon through his ex lover Greg as they remained very good friends. Soft spoken, with his military discipline he had a kind heart and embraced me as a new friend. I was the youngest of their group of friends. There was always something going on. From a party, bar-b-Que, road trip to San Francisco or San Diego, beach parties, you name it they always included me.

As I began to get a little older and find my way through Los Angeles on my own with the lessons they had taught me. I would see Vernon out at the club or just around the city. He still looked good and still had that smile that let you know he cared about you.

Years later I heard that Vernon had AIDS and he wasn't doing very well. He was home with his mother here in Los Angeles. Maybe 3 weeks after I heard the news of his illness, I received another phone call that Vernon had died and given the details of his funeral.

I was there for the service that was held at the funeral home. His home Church would not allow his AIDS ridden body into the Lord's house. I remember the night when he passed and Greg and Vernon's mother attempted to find a Funeral Home that would take him. None of the Black popular funeral homes in L.A. would take him so they settled for a small one in the Black community. The white funeral homes were called too but all hung up once they found out the cause of his death.

After a few days of his body laying in the hospital the small black funeral home picked him up. The funeral home told his mother that they would be able to embalm him unlike most of the other homes that would not even if they did take him. As the ritual is you give the funeral home the clothes that you want the deceased to be buried in. His mother purchased a brand new Armani Suit (like Vernon always wanted), shoes, shirt and tie.

On the day of the funeral Vernon's mother was told by the Funeral Director that the service would be a closed casket funeral, due to the effects of embalming a person with AIDS. The service went on without a hitch. The procession formed and we were off to the cemetery. While following the hearse all of a sudden it stopped in front of the cemetery gates. We all pulled over and got out of our cars to find out what was wrong.

I walked over to Greg who was riding with Vernon's mother and he told me that, Vernon's mother insists on seeing her son before he is put in the ground. The reason they stopped outside the cemetery's gates is because this was a military cemetery and once inside Vernon would be the property of the military and nothing could be done. They tried to get the Funeral Director to open the casket right there. They were insistent but to no avail the Director said it was illegal to do that. They said the only way they could open the casket would be back at the funeral home.

Back to the funeral home we went. I can not imagine what was going on in the heads of the funeral home employees and director as we headed back. Once back at the funeral home they took the casket into a back room where they would allow only Vernon's mother and Greg to enter. All was silent outside the room waiting for this to end so that we could take Vernon to his final resting place. Moments later we hear arguing, the Funeral Director didn't want to open the casket. I understand that Greg pushed him out of the way and opened the casket. The next sounds was the scream and wailing of Vernon's mother.

The funeral home had not touched Vernon's nude body that still lay in the sheets from the hospital bed stuffed in a body bag! The Police were called and so was the news. An hour later only the Police had arrived. There was no news to report this travesty.

The task of finding another funeral home as you can guess was difficult. One was however found and this time there was no service. Just the burial. Vernon was buried in his Armani Suit, shoes, shirt and tie this time. He was put to rest finally with dignity.

I'm very thankful to have had Vernon as a friend.

Times were very different. I'm also, thankful that those living with AIDS are no longer dying as quickly as they were in the past.

This was a true story...I'm hopeful with these changing times that we will have much more to be thankful for.

I was moved

2009-01-10T13:22:00.000-08:00

I know that everyone that comes to my blog is a reader. You might not read in the traditional way of picking up a book from the library, bookstore or ordering one online, but you are ravenous readers all the same. Your choice might be to read from the Internet. If that is the case ebooks are a great opportunity for you.

In my D Brothas in Bizness 4 Themselves (located just below my followers that I really appreciate on this blog) a friend of mine Chuma has a publishing company and he also writes himself. He asked me to check out the excerpt from his latest book which I did without question. The title of the book is "My Ancestors Traveled Them Home" for the small cost of $5.99 to be read on your computer or to be printed if you prefer to feel the pages. You can also read an excerpt before purchasing it by clicking on Chuma's eBooks. I purchased the book and read it in it's entirety in a very short period of time.

After reading it I sent Chuma the email below. If my response intrigues you support him by reading it as well:

Chuma,

I can't believe I sat here and read the whole thing 1st of all. Your book was one of the most beautiful and heartfelt pieces of work that I have ever read in my entire life!!

I love it and I love you so very much for being able to express your feelings and thoughts so vividly. The experiences you had may not be the same for everyone but they certainly allow the reader to relate and even release some of the pain that they have not been able to resolve before reading your work. I am speaking for others but my self as well.

As I read your book many of the people that I have loved and lost came to mind. Also, the ones that are still here and I love were brought to the forefront of my mind including you of course. I had thoughts of my death and how beautiful it would be if I had someone to eulogize me as beautifully as you did your mother. I have often struggeled attempting to write about the loss of so many family members and friends that I have loved and even though the words still fail me to a certain extent. You helped to give voice to some of my own thoughts.

Your book is a testament to all on why they should love hard and completely.

Thank you so very much for sharing that with me.

Sincerely always loving you while wiping tears from my eyes with the back of my hand.

Your friend forever,
D

Greed

2009-01-10T11:29:00.000-08:00

Did you know that in 2007 America spent $161.8 billion dollars on terrorism? 2,000 people have been killed on account of terrorism, 70 of whom were American.

Did you know that heart disease is the number one cause of death in America killing 450,000 people a year. America spends $2.9 billion on research for this disease.

This means we spend 54 times the amount on terrorism than heart disease which causes more deaths.

I believe greed has something to do with this.

I got this information from a dvd that a friend shared with me called The Zeitgeist Movement. There was a lot of other information in this DVD as well that sums up the world as being corrupt. I didn't think that that was such a big revelation in the documentary but how this corruption was achieved might be interesting to some. The documentary also talked about how we can change from a monetary system that caused all of this greed an classism in the first place.

It also talked of changing to a resource based society. Check out The Venus Project to see how they believe we can accomplish that if your interested.

Muscle Relaxers

2009-01-03T02:06:00.000-08:00

I was looking around youtube and this clip reminded me of when I had a dental procedure where they were going to have to put me to sleep. So the doctor gave me a pill to take 2 hours before my appointment. On my way to the appointment the pill kicked in. Man oh man oh man. I felt like I was in utopia and everything around me was absolutely gorgeous and I didn't have a worry in the world. Needless to say the Doctor wouldn't tell me what the pill was the bastard. Hee Hee but it's probably best he didn't cuz I was feeling hella good!

Enjoy a good laugh on me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2008-12-31T21:46:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year Everyone!

This Lion wishes you a prosperous and fierce 2009.

Bring in the new year with the innocence and curiosity of a baby! Free of hangups and open to possibilities and prosperity! Wishing you all the best!

The Result

2008-12-27T18:52:00.000-08:00

The results of my little situation on Christmas night was less than I anticipated after staying up really late thinking about how I would talk to my missing friend. I'll call him BuckBuck.

The next day BuckBuck called me to apologize. I couldn't talk at the time because I was on my way out with my parents and didn't want their day to be filled with any concern as I spoke to him. So I told him that we would talk later. He wanted me to accept his apology right then but me being me was not going to do that until I said what I stayed up all night thinking about. I told him that we were ok and we'd talk and not to worry. He did sound like he was remiss.

I sent him a text message while I was out.
Me: I will see you later right?

BuckBuck: No

Me: Why Not? You have called me for weeks to ensure that I came down here for xmas, you better see me.

BuckBuck: Ok

Me: I mean it!

BuckBuck: Ok

That was the last response I got from BuckBuck and I didn't see him while I was in my parents town. So I assume that he decided to remain in misery with little care for whether he ruined our friendship or not. In my mind he had not but I wanted to get some things straight with him if we were to continue as friends. Now I won't worry about this anymore.

I'm blessed to have friends that do really care about me and my feelings. So one from the past that I hadn't been in much contact with anyway will not matter in the big picture of my life. I know who cares about me and I know who trapses through my life only for a glance. I'm a grown man and It's unfortunate that everyone that comes in our paths is not grown.

So I'll continue being happy with those that care about me and blessed because they do. I wish him all the best but I don't have the time to worry about what I can't do anything about. In my life I've had to move on from so many people that one more that only has spent brief moments in the span of my life in so many years will not be hard to get past.

The rest of my holidays will be happy and I hope yours too. For those of you who commented on my last post...thank you for your encouragement.

Not Like I Imagined

2008-12-25T20:57:00.000-08:00

I'm going to see two friends of mine tomorrow that I went to Junior High and High School with. One of the friends I've stayed in contact with over the years even though we live in different cities. The other we hadn't see since graduation until our last class reunion. I've spoke to the missing friend a couple of times on the phone since our reunion. Tomorrow I'll see the both of them again. We had a 3 way phone call earlier this evening. Our out of touch friend was obviously drunk on the phone. And said somethings that neither my constant friend or I appreciated. When we see each other tomorrow I'm going to need to take a breath before speaking. Had I not been at my parents house and they in earshot I'm sure I would have called him everything but a child of God at the audacity of his drunken comments. I know I'm babbling right now but my typing this is helping me to think about how I'm going to handle this situation tomorrow.

Strange this is the only post that I have with no picture of any kind. I just can't imagine right now how this is going to play out or how I'm going to feel at the end of it all. I just know that the way I'm feeling right now is not how I imagined I would feel on Christmas day. I need to kick his ass just for that!

Happy Holidays!!

2008-12-24T18:06:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas Eve and this is the time of year when people always make changes in their lives. Or at least when they decide that they need to make some changes.

I don't promise that I'll make any changes. I just do my best to be a better me. So this year I wish all that wander upon my blogspot a wonderful holiday season and all the blessesings, happiness, and success that you can handle!!

Envision your future as you want to see it and make love a priority!

Nervous

2008-12-05T16:35:00.000-08:00

I haven't talked about this because I guess for some reason it just didn't feel real to me. I've had very minimal feelings about it which I think is strange. Sometimes I feel a tinge of excitement and other times it just feels like a story that I'm reading. I'm unsure of what to expect. I've been trying to read things online but the things that I've read have only made added to my nervousness.

Ya see, next year I'm going to Ghana. I'm a little excited about it today because I just found out that instead of flying coach as we originally thought, we'll be flying business class. So right now I'm most excited to know that I'll be comfortable on this 18hour flight to Acra, Ghana.

I'll be going to Ghana with some co-workers on a special project that our company is taking part in for the 1st time ever. My company in the U.S. is joining up with our company in the UK and in Ghana to build houses in the Ashanti Region of Ghana. Now anyone that knows me is probably thinking. You build houses???...well yeah me! LOL. I'm all for paying to get things done right and quickly rather than doing it myself and be unsure of the final results. However, I don't mind getting my hands dirty and love the feeling of accomplisment when my efforts are something that will be useful for someone else. So that's what I'm going to do.

I'm actually the U.S. Team Leader in this 1st endeaver. What I'm a little nervous about is not the work but moreso how I will be perceived. After searching the internet for Gay Ghana all I found were negative articles sighting that homosexuality is illegal and Police and inhabitants of Ghana sometimes beat or kill those who they think may be gay for purely stereotypical reasons. Now I'm by no means flamboyantly gay but I'm also not the stereotypical macho man either. So this is where my concerns come in as the customs in this country are quite different from our own in the States.

An example of that is: we are required to meet the King of the villiage to gain his approval to build for his villiagers. What this process is right now I don't know. I'm sure I'll find out before we go but it still makes me nervous. Will I be asked if I am married and have children and if not why not? You know the questions that your family may wonder about but never say anything.

While I'm excited about the opportunity to do some good for people in Africa and having the opportunity to do some sightseeing there for free for 2 weeks. I'm still a little apprehensive about what I might encounter. I will however, make sure that I understand the customs of this country so that I do not offend anyone while visiting.

I am excited about this opportunity also because my mother company was happy that employees came up with this project,, are backing us financially and they'd like to do something like this world-wide on a regular basis in the future. If this project is successful I'm going to try to create a new job out of it. Maybe I'll be the Director of International Charitable Affairs or something..LOL What I do know is that if I'm able to create this position I'll be able to see the world for free!

Has anyone been to Ghana and can give me some advice?

What Kinda...

2008-12-01T01:57:00.000-08:00

I don't know who this baby is or who it belongs to. Just thought it was cute and needed something to go along with my post. LOL

So I was stuck at home pretty much all weekend doing this month-end ritual that I've been assigned for work. It's horrid I tell you absolutley horrid. I think my manger put me on it so that I can be frustrated with the process and get it fixed. It's the most tedius thing I've ever had to do in my life and takes like 6 hours to do each day. I was thinking I can't wait til she goes out on maternity leave! I'll try to get some of those off-shore guys to do this crap.

Anyway, so I'm doing this process and I get an email response from her. Ok, no big deal. I just thought damn this woman is pregnant and due any day now and her ass is working on a Sunday afternoon. Her ass needs to sit down somewhere and rest.

30 mins later I get another email from her. This time she's sending out an annoucement that she had her baby on Thanksgiving day. I was like what the hell is wrong with her ass. She just had the baby 10 mins ago and she's already online responding to emails and I'm sure doing other work. Well at least we won't have to deal with her for a few more weeks. Knowing her she won't take the entire maternity leave...just like she didn't when she had her 3yo. I can't wait til this new baby is a terrible 2yo and the other is 5yo. Maybe then her ass will calm down a little cuz she'll be so damn tired from running around with the kids then everybody else will have a little peace.

I'm laughing to myself because this post is like a Look at this Nigger type post. LOL

You Just Don't Know

2008-11-29T00:36:00.000-08:00

I don't know if it's the season or what...but I have been feeling soooo thankful these days. I'm not going to question it I'm just going to keep on thanking him as much as possible. Something good is about to happen I can feel it coming.

I Can't Believe...

2008-11-26T19:29:00.000-08:00

You know I wish I had listened to Ledisi's song Thank You from her Christmas CD before writing my last post because I would have added it to that post.

This song speaks to me and to the reason why I made my last post. I'm very thankful for my experiences and mostly thankful to God for keeping me safe and loved even when I don't realize that I am. The link below is just a short clip of the song. Oh yeah, I'm really really feeling Ledisi's Christmas CD but then again...I like everything she does!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!

http://site.soulmusicstore.com/media/12-ThankYou_1.mp3

Thank you

2008-11-22T21:23:00.001-08:00

I'm having a quiet evening listening to Sarah Vaughan and reading blogs. One blog( lmross-moanerplicities ) got me to thinking about people in my life. His Blog was thanking people who had saved his life. Some of my friends have passed away who gave me life and some are still here but I don't often get to see them or talk to them. I just want to thank those that are gone and the ones still here for being in my life and helping me to become who I am today. It's important to thank your friends and tell them that you love them. I think I'm going to call those that I haven't seen in a long time tomorrow. I miss them!!

Friends that have gone to live with God:

2 Michael's, 2 Kevin's, 2 Greg's, Vernon, Rhonda, Ronnie, Marcus, Clifford, Pierre, Papoose, Tony, Juanita, Reggie, Dorothy, Ernest, 2 Joey's, Al, Vincent, Eleanor, Audrey, Sidney, Iona, Steve, Chris, Claude, Michaelangelo, Shawn...I had to stop listing these names it was making me sad. There are plenty more though and I'm thinking about them as well.

Friends that I haven't seen in a long time:

Ari, Terry, Kevin, Fidel, William, Monte, Doug, Mitch, Antonio, Allan, Alain, 2 Demetrius', Steven, Lorna, Denice, Janice, Foster, Will, 3 Charles', Albert, Alex, 3 Ron's, Terrance, 2 Marlon's, Henry, Ron, 2 Keith's, Roderick, Troy, Michael, 2 Donald's, Reggie, Earl, Allen, Cliff, Daniel, Sabrina, 2 Tony's, 2 Mark's, Ricky, Tanya, Hank, Dorn, Jack, Victor, Danielle, Jessica, Dwayne, James, Kitty, Harold. Erroll. Lee, Darryl, Eric, Patrick, Ray, Tim, Marcus, Marva, Jamal, 2 Brian's, Maurice, Michelle, Jerry, Tracey, 2 Melvins, Wayne, Orson, Eddie, Kenny....Getting sad again so I'm stopping.

It Was Time

2008-11-11T23:27:00.000-08:00

I just found this while looking for my birth certificate. I can tell it was typed on a typewriter...so you know it's old...shaddup all you youngins. Yall probably never typed on a typewriter before.

It's from many years ago...not even sure when this was done...

It was time

I never dreamed...it would be so easy, to finally walk on out the door...but I'm tired of tryin' to make you smile...and livin' everyday on trial...and tired of always bein' the one---who loved a little more.

It was time...

When you really get down to the bottom line, we never had the poetry...we just tried to make it rhyme...

It was time...

that we were over...it was time.

and now I know the emptiness I'm feelin' --- is more for what we missed than what we had...

But watchin' somethin' dyin' slow...

can hurt much more than lettin' go...and even whith the loneliness you know...

I'm almost glad...

Guess I wasn't right for you, and you weren't right for me...

and it doesn't pay to sell your soul...

just for company...

It's better bein' lonely....

It was time.

Dear Anonymous

2008-11-09T11:22:00.000-08:00

You who read my blog know that most of the time I do not respond to negative comments. You might not know that a lot of times I delete them. I made a post after Obama's victory. Short and sweet. My post mentioned change as did President Elect Obama's campaign. If one believes that there would not be some type of a change by just him being the president is misguided. I would not venture to guess what the changes will be but there's no question in my mind that there will be some. Be it his policies, america's thought about black men, or just that the president is Black and not White.

More than anything in the world I hate statistics simply because one can say whatever one wants using them. As did Anonymous.

He/she said, Obama won because of 60% of the white and Latino vote went to him and that... only 20% of the black population even voted. Just looking at those numbers makes a statement. However, the numbers do leave some important information out. What percentage of the White population voted? What percentage of the Latino population voted? Was it 20% of those populations that voted also? Is this 60% from White and 60% from Latino populations or from all votes 6o% were White and Latino? I won't claim to know the answers. For the numbers to mean anything those questions should be answered I think. I will agree that if only 20% of all the Black population voted that that is sad. I wonder if some of the Black people that would have wanted to vote couldn't for some reason good or bad? Guess more statistics are need for that answer.

I do believe that Obama was voted in by all faces of America and I have heard no reports nor did I state that the Black Community should take credit for his win. The anonymous he/she quoted a study that was conducted on why Blacks were voting for Obama and that not one could come up with a reason except change. When asked what they wanted changed they couldn't answer. Hmmmm, that sounds suspect to me. Anonymous if you watch most network news you'll notice that sometimes reporters gravitate to those that might give an uneducated response to any question. Still I even find it hard to believe that an uneducated person wouldn't be able to verbalize one change. Hmm was the interviewer too aggressive or condescending and the person being interviewed just refused to answer. I guess we'll never know unless you Anonymous were the interviewer and can shed some light.

Later Anonymous says that 60% of whites that voted for Obama did so because of the facts that he brought and that he/she believed the election showed that the racial divide still exist, but with the Black population. So we're back to the 60% again. So again is this 60% of all whites that voted or 60% of the whites that voted for Obama? If it's 60% that voted for him then 40% only voted for change and possibly didn't know what they wanted changed either?

Anonymous states he/she comes from an area that has overcome the racial divide. Please let me know what that area is so that I can move there! This is an assumption on my part but I suspect that Anonymous is not Black. It's sometimes difficult for those not experiencing racism to know the many subtleties of it. That's no fault of Anonymous' own it's just very difficult to empathize with things that you have no real understanding of. But I see he/she is trying and that should be commended.

The last statements on my blob by Anonymous I'm posting verbatim.

It will not be until all of us can stop separating each other till we all can come together.It was a historical election, not to say the least.

I have no idea why Anonymous chose my blog to make his/her statement. Anonymous...you damn tootin it's historical! As you saw, my statement on President Elect Obama's win was simple and did not say that We Black People Did It. So Anonymous (which i think is Bitch-Assness to post anonymously) if anyone is perpetuating a divide it is you. So maybe your area has not progressed as much as you think it has. You certainly haven't. I take my earlier statement back. I don't want to know what area you live in or want to move there. It would appear that there is still some unresolved racism lurking deep within the bowels of your area's population. I wonder what percentage that is? When you're down to 0% and all have shit that ignorance out and wiped your asses truly clean then let me know where that area is. Until then Anonymous I do sincerely hope that I have facilitated some change to your heart and thoughts.

Oh yeah Anonymous...who started this anyway? I know I want it to stop!

Yes We Did!!!

2008-11-05T00:40:00.000-08:00

In the words of Sophia in the Color Puprle, "...thangs gonna change round heah!"

Mind Medicine

2008-11-02T19:29:00.000-08:00

I believe that everyone creates a path that we trudge optimistically towards our goals. Sometimes we get turned around and sometimes we might stumble and fall or almost fall. Whatever the case may be it jolts your system and you have to regroup so that you can continue on the path of your goals. Sometimes it's hard to get up or keep moving but stopping should not be an option.

Treat your life as if it's a movie with a theme song and music for each stumble and triumph. If you need some assistance in finding the music to pick you up and put you back on your path you might want to check out Soul Motivations (Mind medicine) by Dwayne Barnes. You can purchase this cd on cdbaby.com and have the disc sent to you or download the mp3 version of it for quicker gratification. You can also listen to a couple of the tracks before you purchase it. I have 3 favorites already. Onna' Move, Beautiful Life and So So Good.

I happen to know Dwayne and knew that he is an actor, producer, song writer and stylist, but he kept what feels like a secret from me. Although I'm sure it wasn't really a secret. Guess I just didn't ask the right question. He can sing as well!

Dwayne has a voice that is reminiscent of old skool soul with a neo soul current reality. In old skool soul you get your emotions of love laid out on the table that rang true for so many. Neo soul does that same thing but with a new beat to keep up with the times. This CD of Dwayne's is full of emotions but not the emotions that one has already heard about. Soul Motivations is about honoring yourself and realizing that you can do whatever it is that you need to do. You just have to believe in yourself.

So if you need some encouragement because you've lost your way a little don't fret. Listen to this mind medicine to give you the dose of what you need to achieve what at the moment might feel unachievable.

Thank you Dwayne for sharing your gift with me and to thank you I'm sharing it with others, gladly.

You Gotta Do It

2008-10-29T22:42:00.000-07:00

Every year the book club that I'm a member of attempts to go on a weekend retreat somewhere in driving distance from LA. This year we went to Palm Springs. Actually we go to Palm Springs a lot for our retreats. The reason is that there are plenty of houses there available to rent for any given period of time. We took our retreat last weekend for a much needed getaway from Los Angeles and thoughts of all that we left behind.

Renting houses actually is much nicer than staying in a hotel if you take a trip with several friends or family members. We always rent a house that includes a pool and jacuzzi. I was able to catch up on some reading, swim as if I didn't have a care in the world and luxuriate in the great jacuzzi.

Since I got to the house 1st I was able to pick my room. I picked the Master Bedroom that included our course it's own bathroom and a room that was so big it also had it's own living room with sofa, chair and coffee table. A sliding glass door to this room took me to the master's pvt patio.

We all enjoyed our stay in Palm Springs as we ventured into the city's downtown area only 2 miles away to eat, and shop. Palm Springs is full of retirees and many white gay men. Not our flavor but that wasn't the purpose of our trip anyway. The people in this city are very relaxed and very friendly. Probably because most are retired or just have enough money that they don't have to have an attitude about anything.

If your in Los Angeles or close by you should try a trip to Palm Springs. If your in any city that has a resort like town close by check out renting a house. You won't regret it and at the same time you'll get to spend quality time with people you care about.

Below are pictures of the pool and bedroom suite where I spent most of my time last weekend.

Unforgettable Divas

2008-10-14T15:35:00.000-07:00

In my last post I forgot to mention two other Divas that were at the show. Please forgive me all of you that are fans of theirs. Getting old causes you to forget and overlook things that are staring you right in the face.

Speaking of staring you right in the face. Performer, singer and actress Sherri Lewis , one of the Divas that I forgot to mention tells her story of a new love at the age of 33yo, that one might think would have been lost due to her newly discovered HIV+ status. Her story pulled at your heartstrings. The anticipated still waters of a new relationship happily endured the information of the disease once thought of as a death sentence. The love of Sherri's now husband is ever flowing. Sherri was quite the Diva in a Pink dress and boa. After hearing her story and listening to her sing the only word that comes to mind is inspirational! Read this story on Sherri located on The Body webpage. Here's an interview with Sherri on youtube. It's important that we hear the stories of women with HIV as we don't hear these stories enough.

Thank you Sherri for pulling the coat tail of this aging man!

The other Diva that I forgot to mention was Kym Whitley. I don't know how I forgot her because she was hillarious as you can well imagine. On top of that she looks really good! Normally, Sheryl Lee Ralph has one of my favorites Jennifer Lewis for comic releif at the show but this year as I said in my last post Jennifer could not be in attendance. Kym was a welcome addition and I hope she comes back again and again. Kym opened the show and as she was talking Norwood comes walking down the aisle making his grand entrance. Now everyone knows that you shouldn't come in late to a show if a comedian is going to be in the show, becasue they will call you out in some way. And that she did. "...Only Norwood could wear a cheatah suit and afro". All eyes on Norwood and the laughter ensued.

Norwood Young in cheatah. I don't think they like him on Bossip.com.

Divas Simply Singing

2008-10-12T12:08:00.000-07:00

I went to the Diva's Simply Singing fundraiser last night. It's billed as, A magical evening of song and entertainment benefiting Women Alive coalition and Sister Circle: South Africa. This event has been presented by Sheryl Lee Ralph for 18 years addressing issues surrounding HIV/AIDS. It's an event that should be held all around the country so those of you in other cities could enjoy what I did last night.

I think what Sheryl Lee Ralph does is amazing and she is a Diva. There's no taking that away from her. It's wonderful all the work that she does in the fight against HIV/AIDS and she deserves a Lifetime Achievement award in my opinion. She didn't sing herself last night because she had a touch of laryngitis so that was missed out on this year. Jennifer Lewis who is usually at these show was in Europe this year. She did however, do a comical monologue for the audience. She said she'll be back in time for November 4th. You do know what that is right!?

These are once in a lifetime lineups. You'd probably never see this group of ladies and an occasional man on the same stage again.

Here's who was sang at last nights performance.

Patti Austin - What can you say about Patti's voice. Simply angelic. Although she did cuss a couple of times before she started singing. I loved it...it was funny and made her feel like a real person to me. It felt like you were sitting around the house talking to an aunt and you heard her cuss for the 1st time. LOL

Coko - She gave just what one would expect.

Sarah Dash - I had to go to the bathroom so I missed her performance. It was a long as show and I had had two Jack's on the rocks. Damn Damn Damn

Loretta Devine - She did her thing. Nothing bad to say and extrordianary. You know how Loretta does. She's a Dreamgirl original and she performed.

Ellia English - She played Jamie Foxx's aunt on the Jamie Foxx show. I really enjoyed her she sang one of those blusey I don't want a one minute man gut bucket songs. She sang it right after Coko did a gospel number and explained that she knows who she is so there's nothing wrong with her singing this song after her. And you know what...there wasn't anything wrong with it. Totally loved it.

Sieda Garrett - You know the audience really didn't give Sieda the love that she deserved. I'm not sure why because she sounded really really good. Maybe they just weren't familiar with who she is and what she's done. She sang The Man in the Mirror made famous by Michael Jackson. Maybe the audience didn't know that she wrote that song! To me she sang the hell out of it too!

Miki Howard - I was a little disappointed. I think she was off last night.

Rachelle Ferrell - Rachelle was the surprise songstress that wasn't in all the advertisement. What a wonderful surprise. When she walked on to the stage the audience gave her a standing ovation before she opened her mouth. Once she sat at the piano she said I was prepared to come out here sing but after that now I gotta sang! And SANG she did! I have no words to describe the experience of this beautiful instrument.

Rosyln Kind - A Jazz singer. I hadn't heard of her before and she was ok. I think she had picked a wider known song to sing she would have been more enjoyed. She in a moving airing Oct 18th on the Hallmark channel, with Florence Henderson, Donna Mills and Pam Grier in "Ladies of the House."

Lalah Hathaway - What can I say about this little woman that comes on the stage in a black gown barefoot. I know...I forgot all about her not having on shoes when she started sing..so I say..Sing dammit!

Raven-Symoné - She was funny as yall know. Lil mama (I mean a lil big mama) danced her ass off pulling down her skirt the whole time. She half jokingly called for security while this white lesbian professed her love to her while she was on stage speaking with Sheryl. So if you thought that only black people act up at shows you're wrong!!

Alicia Myers - Disco Diva returned. The audience didn't give her much love either but she did look good and sang well also. She sang I Want To Thank You. Some of you youngins might not know her. But you others will remember sweating to her music.

Leigh Jones - Some of yall might not know about Leigh. If not check her out you'll be surprised just like most of the people in the audience were. Un huh yeah they were. Click on her name for a link to a youtube video of hers. Her latest CD is nice too.

Angie Stone - Angie, Angie, Angie...lawd I don't know why you put that dress on baby girl. You can sing you don't have to try to be creative by getting someone to put what appeared to be strips from a potato bag all over the front of a lime green dress. It was not cute at all. Oh no you got worst dressed last night. Even the pseudo drag queen that was in the audience with his grandmother's church hat on, that many of the performers took notice of, looked better dressed than you. I think you could have picked a better song too. Now I don't even remember what it was. I'm not sure anyone else does either, especially since you made everybody stand up and sway and the song never did anything to sway about. Angie, Angie, Angie.

Trin-I-Tee 5:7 - These are gospel girls if yall didn't know. They did a good job but it was at times with the choreography difficult to tell that this was a gospel song. But yall sang nonetheless. Click the link you'll see what I mean although the video doesn't show their moves like we witnessed last night. Maybe it's because they're so attractive or something I don't know judge for yourself.

Now for the Devo's that were on stage.

Kenny Lattimore - He opened the show and did a little slow dance with Sheryl. Yeah Sheryl some of us wanted to be you in that situation. Hee hee.

Von Smith - He'd remind you of a young Sam Harris from...oh shoot I can't remember the name of the show. You know the one I'm talking about that was on before American Idol became the famous show featuring singers who wanted to break into the business..shoot somebody help me. Anyway, I understand he 1st got his big recognition by posting himself singing And I'm Telling you on youtube. Ok, I found the name of the show...Star Search! Thank you Fullundie! Click on Von's name to see the youtube spot.

Donald Lawrence - Grammy award-winning songwriter, producer, arranger and music director ended the show with most of the ladies and a gospel choir on stage. What's the term for an orgasm that is not as big as you thought it would be. Oh yeah Anti-climatic. Nuff said.

Oh my stars! I almost forgot the star of the show!!

Patti LaBelle - Ok now don't tell anybody this but I've never been that big of a fan of Patti's but I do give her much deserved respect. With that being said, she did sing and perform her ass off. I thoroughly enjoyed her stage presence and an I don't know what that came across on stage. Maybe it was her genuineness. I don't know but she was excellent.

I'm Free

2008-10-09T18:56:00.001-07:00

Sometimes it takes a minute to get yourself back together. I've been making posts but not really saying exactly what was on my mind. That's because I was in something. (don't want to call it a relationship, because admittedly that's not what it was)

Now that it is over I feel free. I'll call him Illusion. I enjoyed Illusion's company, he was intelligent, attractive, and extremely charming. It just didn't work out and it didn't end nicely either. There wasn't any fighting, yelling or anything like that. He said that he wasn't the man that he felt that I needed. I should have just said ok and let it go but I slipped and wanted to be heard. How unnecessary was that? I knew it was coming to this but he just beat me to saying it.

I'm glad that I had the good times that I did. I'm doubly glad that it is over. I did make one mistake a week or so after things ended, trying to contact Illusion in person one more time offering something that I know he needed.

I shouldn't have done that but I don't regret it. Since then there has been no contact or much thought about him and I feel real good about it.

There was someone who has (I'll call him Jag) wanted to get to know me for awhile but I couldn't because I was trying to figure out what this thing was. Jag understood and never tried to make waves to the thing I was in. He didn't call me or make snide remarks when he saw me in public on very few occaisions.

Not two days after my mistake of attempting to contact Illusion. I ran into Jag in the grocery store of all places. He saw me before I saw him. He called my name and we began to talk. On every occaisions that I had seen him prior he had not asked if I was still in that thing. This time he did. I told him that I wasn't. He didn't smile but looked a little sad and asked me if I was ok. I assurred him that I was. And feeling free. And I really am, no more worries about the illusion, no more feeling sorry for the illusion, no more wondering if the illusion is being honest, no more illusions.

Jag said he would call the next day and he did. We talked about family, politics, travel, religion, charity and more. He said he would call again and he did. He invited me to dinner and I accepted. We went to Union Station in downtown Los Angeles. I thought we were going to the restaurant Traxx that's housed inside, but we headed for the trains. We boarded a train headed for Del Mar. Once in Del Mar we caught a cab to the Pamplemousse Grille . The ride took a little over an hour and allowed us to talk on the train before enjoying a wonderful dinner and continued great conversation.

Sometimes you have to go through something to get to something. I have no expectations of this going anywhere but it was fun and I enjoyed the moment. I'm grateful for all that I've gone through to get to where I am. I have many memories that I'll cherish and I know there will be more.

I wish illusion much success because I refuse to dwell in a thing that was never going to be anything. I do not wish him any ill and hope that mentally he will be well.

I'm here enjoying the moments.

Rebuke in Verse

2008-10-07T01:07:00.000-07:00

Get them back...they don't deserve to be close to you. You don't have to do a thing because it's already been done. Just be still and you'll see.