I gotta re-think

Sometimes you just have to be tough! I have to re-think somethings in my life. I gotta start being tougher on myself and not giving up on myself. This includes re-thinking whose in my life.

Yeah there's something personal going on with me right now.

I started out today to go to the Writers Panel. One of the events taking place during the Beach Party festivities. I got dressed, got on the freeway, then got off 3 exits later and made a complete circle right back to my house. My spirit just wasn't able to handle what I expected to run into at the Marriott Hotel. I just couldn't do it.

I think I'm probably being overly sensitive, and loosing out on an opportunity for me to be enriched in someway. I just couldn't do it. My spirit made me stop and return home. I don't know why, but I chose to follow my spirit.


Maybe it was just my body realizing that I hadn't eaten since the cereal I had this morning and it was almost 3pm. Could it have been my sugar level dropping telling me to get home before you passout on the freeway or at the event? Whatever the case I came home made something to eat and my sugar level is back on track.

People can make you feel like you are loosing your mind. Either by a look they give you, a snide comment or simply ignoring your presence. This is when you need to stop, be still and re-think.

Don't Know Why

I don't know why that all of a sudden I want to share my artwork. Maybe it was the nice things that some people said. So I changed the painting on my blog to a painting that I did in the 12th grade.

Sorry about the quality of the picture but I'm not that great at taking pictures of paintings. I guess there's an art to that as well.



I probably won't keep the picture up very long so I hope you enjoy it and it makes you think of good things. When I painted it my ex-sister in-law thought it was of her because she was pregnant. NOT! It was a tribute to my mother when she was pregnant with my younger sister who I was very protective of when we were young. I think my mother must have said something to me to cause me to be so protective. This painting depicts my mother, my sister inside and myself on alert.





I remember when anyone ever approached my sister I was right there to find out what they wanted with her. And it had better be a good reason!

My sister hated it though. hee hee

Things you may not know about me.

I just felt like sharing some things about myself. Since I don't normally talk about myself and I think I need to get better at doing that. Here are just a few things about me. Now how do you bring things like this up in normal conversation. I just don't know.

1. In High School I ran in the Semi Finals of the Junior Olympics. (At the time it was the 100 yard dash...Now 100 meters. Guess that's a hint to my age..hee hee) I didn't make it to the finals because my blocks weren't tight enough and they slipped at the start. I thought the ref was going to call a false start but he didn't. I ended up getting 3rd place. They were only take 1st and 2nd to the finals. :-( I'm still scarred by this event.

2. The painting on my blog to the right. Looking Out For My Brother was painted by yours truly. I don't paint very often at all. I guess it takes too much energy. All the different shades of brown and black in my paintings are representative of all the different shades of African Americans.

3. When I was young I wanted to be one of the Carrol Burnett dancers. There was only one black male dancer on her show. He was the only one that I would watch, and think. I can do that!

4. I won 1st place in the Real Men Cook contest here a few years ago. I made a casserole. A white female chef gave me her card wanting my recipe so she could put it in a book she was doing. I never called her because she mentioned nothing about paying for it. I wasn't having that. Her whole approach to me was suspect. She sort of slipped me her card and whispered her question to me.

5. I've always wanted to start an ethnic men's fashion magazine and also a nightclub where you could go and hear good live music, have a drink and a little something soulful to eat. Those are still dreams I have that may one day come true.

6. I'm terrified of birds. Long story...but it involves a rooster. How ironic that I love to eat chicken..hahaha

7. If I could ask for any gift from God I would ask for the gift of singing. I ache when I hear someone that sings well. And what is that thing with people that sing well, that only sing under certain conditions? I would sing anywhere and everywhere. If I was in an inappropriate place to sing I'd be humming at least.

OK 7 is one of my lucky numbers so I'm stopping here.

One Step

"If you haven't dreamed that you will get there, you will not think about ever taking the steps to be there. - Max Robinson

Is it really that simple? It sounds so promising. So filled with optimism.

I guess one will never know until at least one step is taken, and we dare to dream. How wonderful would it be for our dreams to come true?

I'm more than one note

There are so many parts to all of us. We've got to learn to embrace all the notes that we posses.

Sigh

I want to blog but I'm being over worked and feel like I can't escape.

Smarter Than A 5th Grader?

How does the educational system figure out what is important to teach children. I know I learned all of this stuff in school but I could not tell you when most of it came in handy.

So try it out. Are you smarter than a 5th Grader?

Support Black Business

Ok here I go again preaching about supporting black businesses. The reason that I am so passionate about this is because the only way that the Black Community will be a financially viable group is if we support each other and diversify the types of business that we start.

Hence my promoting the following Black Business.

MyPhoneNet Communications.

It's internet phone service. If your looking for a new way so save costs on your phone service. This is a new technology that is emerging and convenient and most of all AFFORDABLE!

How it works:

Transforms your highspeed internet connection into a regular phone line. You simply connect your existing phone to your modem using an adapter. Then you can start making and receiving calls right away! That's all!

Comes with your own phone number and works just like your regular phone line. You can call anyone and anybody can call you. You even have the option of using the phone number that the MyPhoneNet Communications provides or be assigned a new phone number. Best of all it on average it is 45% cheaper than your current phone company.

You'll save a bundle on long distance. Any calls that you make or receive within your area is considered free. The calls are unlimited with in the U.S. and Canada. Not to mention that calling Puerto Rico and Europe is FREE! You don't have to pay any long distance charges. You can travel or even move to another country and call friends and family as if you were at home.

So check out MyPhoneNet Communications for complete details on this new way to call family and friends.

Now just imagine the power that we would begin to bring to the community with our hands in telecommunication on the cutting edge!

Anyway, that's my lastest black business plug. Hope you find it beneficial!

No Words

It's so weird that once you start blogging you feel a real obligation to post regularily. Unfortunately I just have not had the time or energy. I hope to blog again soon. So many thoughts going through my head. A mental break is in order that's for sure.

How do you kill trees and nobody know you did it?

This is a picture that I took today that shows a similiar view that I would have if my neighbors trees were not blocking it!!!

Does anybody know how I can make those trees crumble to the ground without damaging anything around them? (evil laugh)

While taking the picture above from the sidewalk I was standing in front of a small palm tree. Thought it was intersting. I wonder if this is where the first designer got the idea to put pleats in clothing.

Connections

I have been watching the news about the Virginia Tech incident. They are interviewing Koreans here in Los Angeles asking them how they feel. Most all of the Koreans interviewed say that they feel ashamed because the murderer is Korean.

Hal Fishman the anchorman on the CW said that one can not condemn a whole culture for something that one has done.

Hal is white and is unable to see that when one from any cultural group except whites, that commit a henious crime, how that effects the rest of the culture. A good example of that was the reaction of black folks when O.J. Simpson was acquited. Even if we believed that O.J. did it or not. We felt some sort of sick relief. Relief maybe because we thought that people would now not think that we were all murderers. We learned that the relief was very short lived.

The American culture has spoiled our communities into thinking that we are all alike and don't need each other. This is why I believe that our brothers and sisters who are lost, confused and possessing blemished souls are lashing out in inhumane forms. We don't take the time to listen to them to guide them through to a path of mental wellness. We dismiss them viciously and effortlessly.

My heart and prayers go out to the families and friends of those killed at Virginia Tech.

Our Images are beautiful and strong

It's interesting how important images are to people. I understand it I guess. However, I don't always agree for reasons which I"ll explain and show you with the images I've selected. Society has an innate need to categorize black people. Actually society has an innate need to categorize all people. However, black people seem to be the group that it tends to put into one or two categories. Usually negative categories.

I on the other hand believe that all black people are beautiful in our own way. Because most of us do not have the ability to go unnoticed due to the pigment of our skin, we are easily identifiable. Hence easily categorized. With that, this is what makes us strong. Strong because we have no choice but to accept who we are whether we want to or not. We learn at an early age to be strong because society immediately looks at us with the eyes that place us in one or two categories. When I see us I see the beauty and strength below.

Stuck in the Office on Friday

These are the worst types of days to be stuck in the office. When the weather is beautiful and the sun is shinining brightly. Looking down at the courtyard of my office building wanting to be somewhere in the distance that the window from my office displays.

Courtyard













View in the distance

Unity

I've been thinking about unity in the black gay community a lot lately. I wish that we were more unified. I wish that we gave each other a chance.

If we had unity in this community how powerful would we be?

I think it is downright frightening how scary we would be to mainstream America. And how exhilarating it would be to me.

We would be the kings and queens that we always say we are.


There would be a meaning again when we say. I'm Black and I'm proud.

I choose not to be viewed less than what I am because of what white America may think about me.