I know all you attractive men out there can get a date easily. I know that's not always true but we all should. However, I don't think it is in our best interest to go on a date expecting this person to be your next lover. To me it takes some time before I know that I know someone will be my partner. When I was younger I got into relationships right after having a good sex session with someone. Not anymore. I want my relationships now to consist of some real substance.
What is real substance? Being able to talk about your feelings without fear. Being able to listen to his feelings with compassion. Having some goals. Not everyone has big lofty goals of becoming a millionaire by the time they are 30yo. But if you do that's a good thing. Go for it. Even if you have some small goals that's a good thing as well and let people know your goals. You never know who you are talking to that might guide you in the path of reaching it.
I say all this to say that dating is beneficial because you need to know what it is you like about a persons personality and if their personality and characteristics gel with yours. Sex can be off the chain with someone that can't express themselves or has no vision of what they want their life to be. So get to know these folks before you commit yourself to them. It'll only cause heartache and disappointment in the end if you don't.
If you can't wait to have sex with someone, do so knowing that this may not be the one for you after you climax. I know this post is simple in it's approach but I just had to get this off my chest and to reiterate to myself that I'm worthy of someone who'll compliment me. Not someone who will stagnate me. I'd rather be happy and by myself than to be with someone that neither inspired or excited me mentally.
I don't know if this post will help anyone in understanding the the benefits of the dating scene or if it'll go against what one may think is moral and right. That's a choice you'll have to make for yourself. Just don't pick the 1st one that comes along and shows you some interest just because they are showing you interest. Find out who they are before you get to rearranging life.
Oh yeah, A Date is a chance to get to know someone in an enjoyable setting. What's the harm in getting to know multiple people?
3 comments:
Immediately going to bed with a guy has never been a problem for me you know. I can wait. I enjoy meeting different brothers and conversing with them. Unfortunately, some guys have gotten impatient upon discovering I wasn't going to bed with them so soon. What you said about being there to support one another, being patient with one another is what I want. And, I know the right guy, right brother is out there for me. It's just something I know and can feel. Maybe it is stupid of me.
There are so many handsome and intelligent brothers out in the world of African descent. By the way, you are one of them.
preach
It takes a good 6 months to a year to truly get to know someone. I think it's only fair to withhold the words "I love you" until you know you can accept the good, the bad, and the ugly of that person.
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