Tuesday, August 29, 2006
I really want to talk about an incident I endured this past Sunday. However, it would take so much to explain it all that I think you might get bored. So in a nutshell. I went to an impromptu meeting of some Black Gay men who wanted to discuss our concerns and struggles in the world today and how we might be able to help each other. The overall consensus was that Black men period are invisible. I know you've all heard that before and surely felt it, that is if you are a Black Man.
There was one brother at the event who simply floored me with his arrogance. It was that type of arrogance that is subtle and masked by a command of the English language that can sometimes fool you into thinking that one is saying something of great importance. Well I am a good listener, however not such a great speaker. This brotha was basing the activities of 3 young black men and using their behavior to characterize most young black men. He then questioned why won't young men take opportunities given to them such as the one he was providing.
I was disgusted to say the least at the way he described one situation. I was to the point of stuttering. When I'm upset I have difficulty getting words out and at times can't form an intelligent thought successfully. I tried though. Probably my 1st mistake. I should have just ignored him. But I felt he would go on and on.
My comments to him were along the lines of: What did you do to help him understand the opportunity that you were giving him and how he was jeopardizing it? Why were you questioning him as if you were law enforcement.
From that he went into that I really don't know the situation or him so I should not be able to accurately assess the situation. My mind went to then why in the hell are you using that as an example. I said it too.
I told him that I found that in many situations when there is a Black man in a position of power they sometimes do not appropriately mentor those in positions below their own. In fact sometimes expect that one should just know. One guy summarized my words succinctly by quoting something he read. Many times those enslaved take on the characteristics of the enslaver.
Well the arrogant brotha didn't get it and continued to speak to me as if I was clueless as to what he was talking about. Actually I wasn't responding to what he was talking about I was responding to his attitude. Was he really interested in the success of these young men. Why wasn't he able to talk to them to find out what it was that they needed or why their behavior was less than exemplary? With that his face changed as he looked around the room and continued to make comments as if I had completely missed the boat. Since he was better known within this group of men he was successful to a certain degree in bringing a couple of other brothas to agreeing with his point of view.
One brotha even commented and asked me if there was something that I needed to talk about because I seemed like I was hurt. This made the steam in my mind puddle and boil.
No I don't need to talk about anything and there is no need for be condescending to me. Their eyes bugged and they looked around like this man is nuts. At least that was my impression of their behavior. Maybe I was being sensitive at that point...Nonetheless I didn't appreciate it.
My mouth was dry and I was shaking inside trying not to show it. Like I said. I should have just ignored him. Have you ever been made to feel as if what you are saying is absurd? Like your comments seem to be coming from a location in the universe that hasn't been identified as a planet yet?
One of the 1st things I learned in my psychology classes was, The hardest thing to prove is that you are not crazy. Simply put let 2 people say that you are crazy and see how crazy you sound trying to convince them that you are not.
Monday, August 14, 2006
I haven't been blogging for awhile and was getting close to getting back into the swing of things. However, I wanted to wait until I had some positive things to say. Screeech goes the brakes on finding something positive for a moment. I gotta express my feelings on this topic.
I went to a seminar this past weekend that offered many breakout sessions on different topics that effect Black Men. We enjoyed a continental breakfast, conversation and were just about to hear a couple of speakers. It felt like it was going to be a really nice Saturday morning.
I sat at the table with a few people some I knew and some I didn't. Just before the program began a guy about 25 years old, thinking he's the IT girl but looks a steaming hot mess sits down at our table. He flops down right next to me and says absolutely nothing. So I turned to him spoke and told him my name. He responded in kind. As the program started IT got a phone call. Of course whenever anything like that happens everyone in the room turns around to see who forgot to turn the cell phone off.
Well most normal people would just turn off the phone once they realize that they hadn't already. Not this steaming hot mess. He answers the phone and starts talking. Talking in his normal speaking voice. All at our table seemed annoyed and looked at him. Again a normal person would have ended the call he didn't until a few minutes more. After that episode we went on to the rest of the day of seminars until Lunch time.
After the morning sessions it was lunch time. We all pretty much sat at the same tables from the morning. I actually was not even thinking that IT would be on the phone again after the looks he got at breakfast. During the entire lunch no cell phone. As we listened to the final speaker of the day IT decides to make a phone call.
I had had enough, so I turned to IT and said will not you get on the phone please. You are disturbing everyone at the table who is trying to listen to the speaker.
IT: You know there are plenty of other places to sit in here.
ME: Then move!
IT: I'm not moving no damn where and I'll get on my phone if I want to so why don't you just turn around and mind your business.
IT really doesn't know who he's dealing with and that shyt raised my blood pressure to burst. Without even realizing it I tried to snatch the phone from his hand at the same time saying...
ME: Get off the phone!
IT: You are not going to take my phone from me! I will not let you do that.
Thinking to myself. Man you are not this queens daddy.
ME: I apologize for grabbing at your phone, I shouldn't have done that. But you don't need to be on it. You're disturbing the rest of us at this table.
I then turned back. IT said nothing. Moments later IT slithered out of the room.
I was fuming at the nerve of him and at myself for loosing control. Thank God I was able to catch myself though cuz what I felt myself doing was not talking to this fool. But rather grabbing him by his neck and beating him with that dayum phone.
After the lunch I walked right over to IT and told him that I wanted to speak to him.
IT: I wish you wouldn't.
ME: Maybe so but I need to say something to you. Again I apologize for grabbing at your phone I shouldn't have. However, what you were doing was inappropriate.
IT: I was making a 911 Emergency call.
ME: Then you should have taken the call outside the room. If it was a emergency call you were making then why are you still here?
I just walked away cuz I didn't want IT to get my pressure up again especially with there being more room in the lobby for me to lay his ass out!
People neither of our behavior was appropriate. Avoid this type of situation by turning the cell phones off in some situations.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Well I thought I would be back in full force blogging again...but I have been really stressed at work. Hardly anyone is allowed to take any vacation right now due to this global project that will be implemented on Sept. 5th. Yeah Labor Day, so that might be a holiday that I won't get to enjoy.At any rate, I thought I would share this commercial that I found. It's for Excedrin. Just what I needed to get me through another day in the office. I think many of you will want to buy this product too. Get it before it's all sold out!!!