Happy New Year!
I saw Brokeback Mountain tonight. The movie as I'm sure you all know is getting rave reviews. I personally think that it was a romantic movie that will help those that are already tolerable of white homosexuals to continue to be tolerant.
I've heard comments about how this movie will change how people look at same gender loving men. I doubt it..those that have a problem with it are not going to see the movie to see that love between two men can be beautiful and painful all at the same time. A friend of mine Terrence Says feels the reception this movie is getting would not get the same attention if the characters were black. I agree. There would be negative connotations associated to it, that would undoubtedly hinder any value it might have.
I will admit the story was tragic. I felt the most pain for Jack. I liked the movie but I was not driven to great emotional or sexual angst, like I've heard often.
I rented Roll Bounce recently as I never caught it at the theater. I enjoyed it. It was a fun walk down memory lane. Yes that's a clue to my age. It was just a fun movie. I do want to say that I have a new favorite actor. When someone asks me who I like I always say Leon. He's just a beautiful black man to me. I have a new beautiful black man that I would love to see more of on film or on my sheets. (Did I say that out loud?)
Well what if I did?!?!? It is Wesley Jonathan. I think he is beautiful. He didn't have a very earthshaking role in the movie, but then again it wasn't an earthshaking movie. I just like him and want to see more of him. Hey can someone write a movie about the trials of a Black Stripper and star him in it please!
Have you ever felt like; Man I don't have a dayum thing to do? So you just kinda walk around like a slug, eating, watching tv, sleeping and going to work? Then without any warning signs, you find that you don't have nearly enough time in the 24hour day to get everything that you need to done.
Well that's where I am right now. I have so many things that I'm working on that need attention all at the same time. One thing that I promised myself a long time ago. (Actually, it was after I was feeling under-appreciated at my place of employment. Working harder than any of my co-workers of little to no color were. Then I realized that this company does not care if I work here 12-15 hours daily. If they want to they will get rid of me just as quickly as I saw them get rid of individuals that were great contributors with advanced knowledge, experience and integrity who had been with the company for many years longer than myself.) That promise was to make sure that every day I take time for myself. Either to reflect on my personal life, watch my favorite tv programs everyday or just touch base with friends of mine via telephone or in person. In fact if need be, just do absolutely nothing for some period of time when you get home from work.
Well unfortunately keeping that promise to yourself can sometimes be difficult. Especially if you take any vacation time away from work and return to at least 85 new emails demanding attention and voicemails filling your inbox. See once you come back from vacation no one ever remembers that you were even on vacation and approach you as if you have been there the whole time. This means that on top of all the things you were away from the prior week, you are expected to attend to the new emails, phone calls, new projects and (most of the time) attend unnecessary and unproductive meetings of the current week. With all of that you are still expected to get things from last week and this week caught up before the end of the week. SIGH Now I have projects at home and at work that need attention.
- Make myself available for a Building Inspector to look at newly installed air conditioner
- Get quotes for paintiing the interior of the house
- Get the yard landscaped
- Work on some of the graphic projects that I've acquired on the side
- Pay bills
- Wash clothes
- Postpone jury duty because it begins the week right after xmas when I was going to be taking a trip
- Go to Dentist appoint that'll take 4 hours of my day
- Prepare for Bookclub meeting (I'm the President)
- Gather information on homeowner's repair needs. (I'm on the Homeowner's Association Board)
- Do this, do that, do this do that..blah blah blah blah blah
There's about 15 more things at least, to go on this list but it's is already getting on my nerves and I just don't want to think about it all at one time right now.
So what does one do? I guess the only thing that you can do. Take one thing at a time. If it gets done on time it does. If it doesn't, it doesn't. What the hell else can you do? I am not about to stress myself out about things like this. I enjoy being busy, but I'm not going to kill myself doing it. That's why I'm writing this blog right now, to relax.
OR am I just a procrastinator? I admit I do have a tendency to procrastinate somtimes. However, I guess what I'm really trying to say is this:
I NEED TO WIN THE LOTTERY!!!!
Well in case I don't win, I guess I better get a plan in place to tackle the things at home and the things at work in the 24hours that I have each day. I'll eat and get some sleep somewhere in there.
And ooooh so many other things. The list goes on and on.
Why is it so difficult to find in this lifestyle? Why can't we obtain it? We've heard that love is all around us. Is it love that we're envisioning?
I envision love from someone that is genuinely interested in what I have to say. Someone who is compatible with me. Someone who is faithful. Someone who wants to understand me. Someone who is attracted to me as I am to him. Someone who is honest with me even when it may hurt my feelings. Someone who might not agree with me but that doesn't stop him from loving me. Someone that wants to make a plan with me. Someone that has his own ideas. Someone that is able to express himself intelligently. Someone who is Black. Someone who is kind. Someone who ... Are our lists too long? Is that why we can't find him?
Will it still be love if we begin to scratch some things off of our lists?
Oh hell! I have no idea! I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
Don't make me wait to long Harpo! One of these mornings you're gonna look for me and I'll be gone.
I guess I'll start off by loving me.
I want to leave you with these words from Mrs. Parks.
At a celebration in her honor, she said: "I am leaving this legacy to all of you ... to bring peace, justice, equality, love and a fulfillment of what our lives should be. Without vision, the people will perish, and without courage and inspiration, dreams will die - the dream of freedom and peace."
As on the day that I met and briefly spoke with Mrs. Parks I have no more words.
I think this was a sign that I might have waaaaay too many clothes. Well it is spring and that is when I normally go into my closet and give away clothes. I thought I had given away a lot earlier in the year and cleaned a lot out. I guess not! My closet say differently. I be donating my clothes to a worthy cause. Any suggestions on a deserving charity let me know. I'll be asking around myself as well.
So now what does one do when your closet is a shambles? Get a closet organizer. California Closets? Naw it would probably take weeks before they would even give me an appointment and cost thousands. So off to Ikea I went on Friday afternoon. They have a really cool wadrobe planner that helps you determine how to configure your closet. 15 mins later I was shelling out a few hundred bucks for my new closet to be delivered the next day.
Here is the lesson of the day. When you buy a new article of clothing remove something from your closet. Oh yeah I love my new closet. It took all day to put it up, but I had help from a good friend.