Saturday, December 31, 2005


Make this year something important to you!

Happy New Year!






Thursday, December 29, 2005


I was reading Just Ask Trent's blog today(12/29/05) and was inspired to say something. He was spitting out thoughts on

If you like my book, I love you,
If you didn't like it, I love you ...blah blah blah blah blah. Go read his blog if you wanna see it all.

Anyway, I was thinking about how one of my nephews always tells me that he loves me when we hang up the phone.

He taught me to say I love you. I never used to say it to friends, family and saved it for when I truly felt like I was in love with some knuckle head.

I hadn't seen my nephew since he was 7 (the reason babies mama and daddy drama and everybody suffers) and then one day he got in touch with my mother to find out where I was. He called me and was 15years old at the time. That was strange to me as I wondered why he all of a sudden wanted to be in contact with me. Now I wondered but I was extremely happy. I loved this child like he was my own. When he was a baby I would take him everywhere with me. People always thought he was mine cuz he looked so much like me. So being the teenager I was at the time...I sho did tell them he was mine.

Anyway, so he wants to see me. He's now living in a dessert town outside of Los Angeles with his mother, sister (from a different daddy) and some new man his mama is with. Of course I would go see him. I took the hour drive outside of LA through the winding one lane mountains in my tiny little convertible. Not the type of car you should drive through the mountains and desserts. Trust me those big ass trucks almost blew me off the road. Thank God I didn't but my top down or I woulda been looking like I had been dunking for apples in sand.

I spent the day with my nephew and we had a great time. Well now that is was time for me to get back down through the dessert and the mountain at night! We all said our goodbyes. My nephew walked me out to my car and gave me a big hug and said I love you.

I just hugged him harder and didn't say a word. My family never was much on saying I love you. I guess everybody just felt like it was a given and we already knew that we loved each other so what's the point of saying it. ( I know weird ass black families)

My nephew was about to stop all that dumb shit right there. As I let him go from my I love you hug, he said. Well don't you love me? I responded of course I do why would you ask me that?

Well you didn't say it and if you don't say it how will I know. Then this little man began to lecture me on why he wanted me to say that I loved him every time that we spoke.

- What if you get in a car accident going down that mountain.
- What if when I talk to you on the phone one day and something happens and I'm gone forever.
- What if anything happens to any of us.

Don't you want that to be the last thing that we hear from each other?

Well I did say I love you, even though it still felt weird. And continued to say I love you when talking to him and the significance of this whole thing came to pass on the worst week of my life.
2 years ago now my Grandmother was becoming very ill. The doctors didn't know how much longer she had. So we all new that we would be going to a funeral soon, it was just a matter of time.

While on this horrible death watch, I got a call that my brother-in-law collapsed at my other nephews high school football game. He's in the hospital and I need to come home. I drove to see about my sister and nephew and niece. When I arrived at my sisters my niece was crying her eyes out and my nephew closed up in his room. I thought my brother-in-law had passed. I was wrong it was my Grandmother that passed.

I spent a little time with my family before driving 2 hrs back to LA to pack and get a plane to Maryland. Within 2 days I was on my way to the airport. I took a shuttle and as I was getting off of the shuttle to LAX, by cell rang. It was my father telling me that my brother-in-law just passed away 10 mins ago. I would be coming back from my Grandmothers funeral to go to my brother-in-laws.

I don't have many friends where my parents live anylonger as I haven't lived there since High School. However, I did have two very best friends there. I knew one of them would be at my brother-in-laws funeral as they knew him too. Turns out neither of them came. Both would reasons. Mark is a Sheriff (friends since 7th grade) and there was some kind of gang thing going on that he had to be a part of. Rhonda (friends since 10th grade) wasn't feeling well. I spoke to her after the funeral and because of my state of mind I didn't go off on her, eventhough I was disappointed she wasn't there. She told me she had had this flu and her doctor told her she shouldn't go out because it was so bad.

I was concerned about her but was very consumed with death at the time and a little irritated that she nor Mark were around to support me. At the end of our call I told her to feel better. All of a sudden my nephews voice came into my head, "Don't you love me". I then told Rhonda that I loved her. She said she loved me too and would talk to me soon. We hung up.

Two days later I got a phone call that Rhonda had passed away. The first thing that came to my mind was that I was glad that I told her that I loved her.


Wednesday, December 28, 2005

A Need For Love

Memoirs of a Geisha.

What a beautifully hopeful movie.

It's about emptiness, sadness, loss, dreams, pride and love. If you haven't seen this movie you should.

I am the kind of person who loves to go to the movies alone. I escape in them and am able to live inside of the main character for the duration of the film. This was quite a journey.

If I had to be poetic in my description of this film I would say:

It's the story of a seedling that blooms under circumstances that normally would be detrimental to the growth of a prized flower. Incidences of toxic manure thrown until covering the flower to near emotional death are thwarthed by the nourishment of the sky's tears . The flower does prevail through hardships and darkness to blossom through the tainted manure into the epitomy of it's species.

Monday, December 26, 2005

Strength in Art

Time for a shot of culture.

I ran across the works of this artist while surfing the net about a year ago. His work embodies strength, pride and a regal-ness that we all should morph into our beings. When you see his art work the subjects touch your soul and tell you a story without the need for description. I just wanted to share with you the works of Kadir Nelson. The picture below is called Cotton.

What this piture brings to my mind is this:

I reflect on today.
No matter the labor that YT puts on me, only makes me stronger.
His demands for my body and mind strengthen my character.
It weakens his perception of me as he sits up high on my shoulder.
He only sees me as a way to his means.
If I misstep he will chastise me.
This is where my power lies, knowing I have the ability to cause reaction with a slight stumble.
Dear Lord, guide me on my way.

Below is Kadir Nelson's description:
When faced with unspeakable hardship and struggle, African-Americans have retained a sense of pride, dignity, elegance and strength. In this dramatic work by Kadir Nelson, a southern plantation field slave hoists a wicker basket filled to the brim with cotton over his shoulder, undaunted by the horrible slave existence and painful task of picking cotton forced upon him. From "The African American Series" by Kadir Nelson.

What do you see?

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Christmas Day

I wrote a few posts ago about Holiday Blues. Yeah I still got them and I did not buy one gift at all. And I'm sooooo glad I didn't. I know this is gonna sound selfish. But Shyt! Enough is enough.

I buy good-ass gifts...and I always get some this year I said I'm not buying nuffin! Yes I said NUFFIN! Every other year I go home for Christmas or Thanksgiving. This year I went to my parents for Thanksgiving. All of my brothers and sisters where there this time. All 6 of us. I had the flu. I would have had hell to pay if I did not take that 2 hour drive to be there. But that's another story.

Anyway back to today's post. I stayed here in LA for Christmas.

When I"m here for the holidays I go to a Girlfriend's house from college. I'm the God Father of her 11 year old daughter. This year Christmas dinner was going to be at her brother's. He lives in Pasadena like the rest of the family. All in beautiful homes. He's a Chiropractor with a spoiled ass 140lb 10 yo fat ass son, that was constantly putting his fat fingers in the Sees candy box. I wanted to scream at his ass, "Get yo fat ass hands outta there and run around the dayum block." Doesn't make sense for a 10 year old to be that dayum fat.

I called my girlfriend to tell her that I didn't think I was going to attend this year. I was honest and told her that I hadn't bought any gifts and felt a little weird about coming over empty handed. She immediately, told me that I better have my ass there and that it was not important whether I had gifts or not.

So anyway dinner was that was my christmas gift. I ended up getting a wine bottle opener. Yes wine bottle opener...not a cork screw. This was one of those fancy dancy ones. Now this woman has known me for about 20 years. (shaddup all you youngins I know yall think I"m old.) In all those years that she's known me she should know better than most people that I don't drink a whole lot of wine. That shyt makes me sleepy. I'm a Jack man dammit!

Oh I did got another gift from my Manager. A $15 gift card to Target. I'm really gonna go on a shopping spree with that one!!

I may sound bitter or ungrateful about all of this but actually I'm not. It just proves to me that this is just a day that people feel forced to buy things for each other that really dont' mean a dayum thing. I'm not bitter because this family has been like a second family to me and during those times when it is not a holiday they still call to see about me and send me cards just to say they are thinking of me.

So you see we may not realize it but we get gifts all year long from the people that we care about. Whether it's a simple thank you card or just a hug when you need it. Those things are much more valuable and long lasting than any gift bought in a rush. I'll give gifts when I feel like it and not because it's the season where all the stores make tons of money.

The gift of love is better than any gift bought with a credit card. I know that was corny but it's true.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Favorite Things

Lots of people have their favorite things in their blogs so I thought I would follow the pattern and post a short list of mine.

What are your favorite things? Let me know.
Listening to someone sing that can really sing and you can tell they are feeling the song.

Coffee Ice Cream and Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

Falling asleep with someone I care about.

When someone does something for me just cuz they knew i needed it and without asking me.

Smooth skin
Laughing really hard at a funny movie with friends

My nephews and nieces when I first arrive home who run up to me and give me a big hug..and they're not even little kids anymore

When everyone in the room is comfortable being themselves and everyone is smiling

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Movies to talk about

Brokeback Mountain
I saw Brokeback Mountain tonight. The movie as I'm sure you all know is getting rave reviews. I personally think that it was a romantic movie that will help those that are already tolerable of white homosexuals to continue to be tolerant.

I've heard comments about how this movie will change how people look at same gender loving men. I doubt it..those that have a problem with it are not going to see the movie to see that love between two men can be beautiful and painful all at the same time. A friend of mine Terrence Says feels the reception this movie is getting would not get the same attention if the characters were black. I agree. There would be negative connotations associated to it, that would undoubtedly hinder any value it might have.

I will admit the story was tragic. I felt the most pain for Jack. I liked the movie but I was not driven to great emotional or sexual angst, like I've heard often.

Roll Bounce
I rented Roll Bounce recently as I never caught it at the theater. I enjoyed it. It was a fun walk down memory lane. Yes that's a clue to my age. It was just a fun movie. I do want to say that I have a new favorite actor. When someone asks me who I like I always say Leon. He's just a beautiful black man to me. I have a new beautiful black man that I would love to see more of on film or on my sheets. (Did I say that out loud?)

Well what if I did?!?!? It is Wesley Jonathan. I think he is beautiful. He didn't have a very earthshaking role in the movie, but then again it wasn't an earthshaking movie. I just like him and want to see more of him. Hey can someone write a movie about the trials of a Black Stripper and star him in it please!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Handyman Saga Continues

Lawd a mercie! I know God is trying to tell me something and I believe I have figured it out. He's telling me to landscape yo own dang yard!

Now I know yall gonna think I'm crazy but here goes. I was on A4A (yall know you be on there too.) I just like lookin at the pictures...they too young for me on there. N E way, as I was browsing I ran across this add for this guy whose name I will not publish. (You'll just have to find him yourself.) In his profile he stated that he did landscaping.

See if he is interested in landscaping your vacant lot you call a yard.

I sent him a message and asked him if he was a landscaper for hire. He responded yes he was. I continued with this arduous manner of sending notes through the A4A system. (Why they don't have instant messaging yet is beyond me.) After multiple notes, I gave him my phone number and he said that he would call me the next day after I got off of work to take a look at my yard.

Next day came. No phone call.
Then he emailed me apologizing for not calling and emailed me his phone number to call him to set up a time to meet.
I called and he was extremely apologetic and said that he would definetely come by the next day. I was working from home so I was open to anytime for his visit.

Wellllllllll it was about 11am and I had not heard from him. I gave him a call to see if he might have an estimated time of arrival. 2:30pm was his response since he would be in downtown L.A. before than and could swing by. That was cool with me cuz I get off at 3pm. Finally, I felt as if I would be getting this eye sore taken care of. So I was happy about that.

Ok it is not 1 day later and I have yet to hear from this brotha. Oh yeah this landscaper is a brotha. I try to give back to the community when I can you should too!

So here I am again stood up by a motha f&*kin gardner!

I am now committing to myself that I will do this yard on my own. It'll be just what I want. I won't have to worry about whether I'm being overcharged nor will I have to deal with another unreliable (insert adjective here).

I'll take pictures once it's done.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Some Music

I'm sharing some of the music that I enjoy with you. After my last post I thought I needed to put something positive in the universe. I hope you like the music, click on the pictures for a sample of each of their songs.

Lori Perry - Wrote this Song - This is a Gospel Jazz project. You might remember her sound from being one of the sisters that were background vocals for Anita Baker.

This is Conya Doss. A lot of people have not heard of her take a listen. I think you'll like her...That is if you like good music. You'll get a mini concert on her site. Eric Benet's Hurricane. Not only is he fine with locks or without I still love his voice. I know a

lot of yall ain't feeling him because of the Halle Berry thing. But you know as couples we all have some kinda issues. I'm sure it wasn't easy being Mr Berry. On his site you'll hear my favorite song on this CD. I wanna be loved.

Had to put another pic of him on here.

Christina Aguelira check her out on Herbie Hancock's possibilities CD singing Donnie Hathaway's A Song For You. She's amazing!!! She does not get enough recognition!!!!!

That's all I'll leave you with tonight. I need to get some sleep gotta be up at 4:30am. lawd a mercie! I am not a morning person at all!!!

Oh yeah...If you are looking for bio's on artists. is a good source.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Crystal Meth

Anybody that knows me knows that I am not one to do drugs. I used to smoke a little reefah years ago but stopped when I started getting paranoid more times than not. So with that experience I knew I was never going to do anything harder.

Unfortunately, I have had a few friends that have indeed tried harder drugs. I know many of you also know some folks that have tried some hard drugs and know the effects it has on the individual along with family and friends.

I personally had not really heard much about crystal meth until I saw this Oprah show. Ever since then I have been hearing more and more about it. Then this morning, I got a phone call from someone that told me a very good friend of mine was in the hospital and has crystal meth in this system. This friend lives in another city so I couldn't just drive over there and say what the hell is going on with you. I did however, get the phone number to the hospital he was in and spoke with him this morning. My mind went a million places as I tried to put the million pieces together to see if I had a clue. After looking back over the years, yes there were clues...But I guess I just didn't want to see them and didn't believe that this particular friend could be seduced by drugs. WRONG! I was wrong and now feel responsible.

Anyway, I'm not writing all this to tell you about my friend, I'm writing this to hopefully scare anyone thinking of using strong drugs away from it.

Many people think that they can handle drugs and are too strong to let themselves be controlled by them. I think that's what every person on drugs thinks. At the end of that thinking comes the realization that they can not handle the drugs. That is if they are lucky enough to survive them. Many don't. Yes I mean they DIE.

Here are some real characteristics that one has to look forward to if drugs become something that you begin to enjoy more and more:

1. You don't care about your personal appearance. Yo ass stinks, your not clean, and may develop sores on your face or other areas of your body.

2. Yo ass won't have sh&T! Because of the drugs you will sell or steal all that you can just for that high. Which means you will more than likely loose your place of residence. Have to depend on someone else for a roof who will kick you out after they see what's goin on with you.

3. Silently, your body will deteriorate from the inside. You name it can happen. Anything that humans fear happening to their bodies on the inside can and mostly likely will happen.

4. You will lie about anything and everything.

5. You won't be able to keep a job. Your mind will be on getting high and more drugs. Instead of thinking of the benefits you are afforded by having a job. Meaning, you can't buy food or pay rent/mortgage. (see # 2)

6. You'll hallucinate. Yeah see sh*t that is not really there.

I know you all can think of several other things that happen in this situation, so I'm not going to go on counting all the things that happen due to drugs.

I've seen all of this happen to friends that I love. There is nothing that you can do for them. They have to do it for themselves. Another cliche. Although this is the tuest of all cliches.

Here is a crack head story:

1980 something. I went to visit my ex-lover because someone told me that he was on drugs. We had only been broken up approximately 2 months. I knocked on his apt door and he answered in his thick terry cloth robe and pulled me inside quickly.

As I entered the apartment I noticed that there were dark blankets on all the windows. I asked him about the blankets and he said that that was so that "they" wouldn't be able to see in. Who is "they" I asked. My question caused an agitated reply. You know who the F "they" are. They have been watching me.

I immediately asked him if he was ok. This is when he seemed normal to me again. He said yes I just can't get off of this drug. Naive as I was at the time I told him to just throw the pipes away. I'll just buy or make another one is all he said.

I noticed he was carrying around his bible, clutching it as if it was keeping his feet on the ground. Then he opened his bible and I saw that inside he had several pieces of rock cocaine. Good they're still there he said. Then to my astonishment the hallucinations began. He tried vehemently to get me to see the tiny televisions that were running across the floor. I told him I saw nothing but he grabbed me by the back of my neck forcing my head downward to try to focus me on these tiny televisions that were causing him much grief.

Fast forward to 2005. He's back on drugs. Crystal Meth now. Running down the street away from the police who have infiltrated what one would call his crack house. This police unit was a K-9 unit. Due to his attempt to flee the K-9 was let loose and caught him. The K-9 tore into the flesh of his leg causing him to need medical attention along with his detention.

He was finally released from incarceration and was two weeks later found dead in his owned property due to infection of his wounds.

You see a drug addict will not take care of any wounds if the only concern is getting that same feeling back. That drugged feeling.

See the changes it makes --------->

Friday, December 16, 2005

A little personal info on me.

Yall, I guess I should have put a preface to my previous post. I am not in a relationship with anyone currently except for God. I wish I could tell you that I am but I am not. The story was my attempt at being creative. I guess I did a good job because I have gotten a few emails and phone calls asking me about it.

But alas, I was just flexing my writing muscle. I guess I'm getting a little stronger cuz yall wanted to know who he was. Now if yall know someone out there that has a job, their own place, their own life, and a personality please send him to me. You will be rewarded handsomely.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


Even when I saw him my mouth went a little dry. I didn't think I would be able to speak clearly due to the heaviness of my tongue. I found the elusive moisture in my mouth and I was able to get the words out in such a way that he would not perceive my nervousness.

"Let's go out sometime, here's my number."

So we went out, and he was even more beautiful than my memory could color from our last meeting. His skin was bronze and smooth without blemish. His lips, thick and soft in appearance that caused me to stare in anticipation. He asked me if I was ok. I said yes I'm fine I was just thinking about how nice it is to see you again.

I took him to a small quiet Italian place in the gay part of town. He wanted to sit outside since the night was just beginning and there was still some warmth in the air. Since it was early in the evening there weren't many patrons at the restaurant that joined us on our private veranda. We sipped wine and talked about our lives and ambitions as we nourished ourselves.

Words spilled from our mouths as if they were drops of water accumulating into a stopped up sink approaching overflow. Conversation was easy and comfortable with him. The wine we sipped caused us to be more comfortable with one another as we sat close. We continued to talk.

As I felt the breeze blow from his direction I could smell the Carol's Daughter sandalwood & Vanilla body spray that he wore which caused my nostrils to flare slightly. He was intoxicating. As I spoke he looked into my eyes in a way that told me he was feeling me too. In my mind I told myself that this date would not end after completing our dinner.

Just then he said, "So what do you want to do after we finish eating?"

I originally thought that dinner would be it for the night, as my day would begin early the next day. "How about we take a walk by the water and we can talk some more", was my response.
His eyes slighly opened wider, not in astonishment but to refrain himself from being over zealous as he responded, Sure.

There was no water close to the restaurant. We would have to get back into my car and drive to some. I chose the Marina for our walk. It shouldn't be too crowded and we could continue our conversation with little distraction.

30 minutes later we made it to the Marina and got out of the car. We stood close to each other along the dimly lit shore and watched a small number of sailboats with their sails folded to their mask glide through the water. He turned, looked into my eyes, and I put my hands to his waist as I guided him to my body. Once his chest met mine I placed my lips on his for our 1st kiss.

I felt one of my fingers touch the flesh of his waist that was soft and warm. When we released from our kiss we took a moment before speaking again. My mouth was open to the size of a pearl earring. In my mind I could hear the sound ahhhh escaping my lips. In reality nothing came out. This is when I realized that I was open.

Open to possibilities
Open to love
Open to dream
Open to life

Sunday, December 11, 2005


I know I've been away a few days. I've been busy...but I'll be back real soon. I just need a little rest.

So while you're waiting..if you are waiting. I wanted to leave you with this. I have been thinking about and missing The Dance Theater of Harlem sooo much lately. I can remember when I was younger watching The Carol Burnett Show and wanting to be a dancer watching her dancers. I always thought that I could dance just as good as them. There was only one black man in the dance group and I watched him intensely. Altough I didn't think he was that attractive...but he sho could dance.

Then when I first saw The Dance Theater of Harlem, I was overwhelmed!! Plus the black men were PHINE as you know what!!!! DTH is on it's way back. Yall in New York please support them so I'll be able to see them on the West Coast again.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Handyman Where Are You?

I need a Handyman Dammit!!!

Why are Handymen so hard to obtain? If you do find one they never ever have the capacity to tell you how much something is going to cost that day. They always have to get back to you. Ok that might be because they want to check prices of materials etc. But dayum when they do get back to you, usually 2-3 weeks later they come up with some ridiculous azz price!

I want to put blinder's on their azzes so they can only see exactly what I need done and nothing else. I think they look around and then say to themselves, "I'm going to make him wait awhile for my bid. I know he has some money. Then by that time I get back to him 2-3 weeks later, he will be so desparate to get the work done that he'll pay anything that I ask." As Whitney Houston so eloquently put it. "HELL TO THE NAW!"

I wish I had the time to go out and take a Handyman class myself and then just do everything I need on my own. But I be dayum'd if I pay some crazy azz price for a little bit of work. Here's an example of what I mean. My bathrooms are pretty small. They only have a toilet and tub in them. The sink is outside the bathroom. Well I wanted slate tile put up on the walls around the tub instead of just regular tile. Now I bought all the tile and the thnset. Why did this fool come to me talking about $5,000.00. And with a straight face. I'm talking about tiling 75 square feet. Again "HELL TO THE NAW!" So someone reccomended the father of a guy I used to work with years ago. Ok I'll give it a try. So he comes over and gives me a price of $1,000.00. Ok now we cooking with grease. So he gets started on the job and things are looking good so far.

When you have slate in a high moisture area you need to treat it. I wanted it to be treated with High Gloss so it would look like it is always wet. Well I was probably not paying very good attention to his work, cuz I trusted him. And when I mentioned shouldn't you wipe the thnset off of the tile as you go. He said, yeah i'm going to get to that. So I left him alone.

Anyway, he ended up never getting to it so daily I was trying to clean that dayum thinset off. Then to top it off he never came back to finish the edges. Now I know what your saying. You're not supposed to pay them all the money before they finish the job. Well I thought this was an exception since I knew his son. NOT!

I'm not one to cry over spilled milk for long, so I moved on. Anyway, here I am trying to get this thinset off and I did get most of it off...but some did dry on it. Now it's time to treat it. Well that was a task too when you don't really know what you're doing. But I did it! And it does look nice. Not as nice I would have liked but still nice. OH yeah I didn't mention that he broke the corner on one of the tiles and I didn't realize it until I had been cleaning that thinset for days. I wanted it to look rustic but not that dayum rustic.

So where are you reliable, on time and honest handyman? You could be making a lot of money not trying to rip people off because you think they have money. I have a patio that needs some work and some baseboards that need to be put in. Oh hell I'm just going to find the time to take a class and get this done myself. PRAY FOR i don't want my house lookng like a shack!

Saturday, December 03, 2005


Build your dreams!

This world is going through some global changes. Black people it is time we found new avenues of being financially stable. We need to build our own communities and destiny.

If we continue to think that white is right, we will be doomed to become the residents of a new third world country.

Many companies are becoming global if they aren't already. The ones that are all in the process of becoming, as they put it, "Financially Fit". Do you know what that means to you Employees that handle transaction based duties for a company? If you're unsure of what I mean by "transaction based", I mean this: Those of you who update data, process information or are in positions that provide a service to other areas of your company.

Many of these types of jobs are being sent overseas. I'm sure you know of this happening with customer service type jobs. Remember that time you called AT&T and couldn't understand what that girl from Inda was saying to you. Well she wasn't in Los Angeles or New York as an immigrant. She was in her native country. My company has outsourced the following so far:

- Help Desk Activities - Moved to Canada
- Accounts Payable - Moved to Costa Rica - Yes that's Expense Reports, P.O. Processing and more. (I'm sure the credit department is being looked at as well.)
- Human Resource Benefits Moved to Costa Rica - Payroll, Health Insurance, 401k and again more.

Even though they haven't told us I know there will be more outsourcing. Which means those are jobs gone.

Please prepare yourself for changes such as these and build your dreams. As the spaces between the blocks in the picture above indicate that they can be easily moved to different positions, we as African Americans need to ensure that we are not literally left out in the cold. We got to be able to adapt to changes quickly and find new opportunities.

Find your PASSION by looking into the mirror.
Don't take NO for an answer. Keep calling and keep asking questions.

Those things that you thought might make a good business. Investigate them. Yes, it takes time to investigate and sometimes seems a chore because you're not making money from the exercise. However, if you do, you never know, someone might be looking for what you have to offer.

Bounce ideas off of friends, family and even people you don't know. If even one person likes your idea, you can bet that there are hundreds more that do too.

Like Lawerence Fishburn's character in School Daze said at the end of the movie,

"WAKE UP!!!"

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Kirk Franklin on Oprah

Kirk Franklin was on Oprah today talking about his addiction to porn. I don't know what you thought about it but I know I'll never get that hour of my life back. If you want to read another interview that he had with 700 Club. You can check that out too.

I though I heard a story that his hotel bill got out that listed a bunch of pornographic movies he ordered and that is why he is now talking about it. I could be wrong.

HEY!!! That's not where I left off on my pornographic video, who found my stash!!!

Anyway, if you want to read the interview on the 700 Club's website click on the picture of him and Tammy.

The two interviews of course had a very different timbre. You decide whether you believe all this or not.

Oh, one more thing. I believe that if America was not so hung up on not talking about sex that there would be much less sexual guilt and perversion here.

Human Needs

I'm attending a course on developing Leadership skills at my company. The instructer listed some Human Needs that all humans require no matter what groupings they are categorized in. I found them to be very intersting and wanted to share with you all.


Certainty or Stability - All humans want to be certain of somethings. Meaning we want to be able to rely on somethings that we know. For instance, that when I turn the faucet water will come out.

Uncertainty or Variety - All humans want somethings to change or to be a surprise. This is what makes life intersting.

Significance - All humans want to feel like possess something that is significant.

Connection or Love - All humans want to be connected to either a partner, family or a group.

Growth or the ability to grow - All humans want to feel as if they are growing or gaining new knowledge

Contribution - All humans want to be able to contribute something to the world no matter how small it may seem to others. Everyone would like to feel that after they are gone someone will remember something that they did.

I know that I should have been thinking about leadership at my company. After the trainer listed these things the first thing that came to my mind was not how to motivate others as a leader, but what could I come up with that consisted of all of these elements to make some money!!! hahahaha

Sadly, the culture at my company is unyielding. They talks about innovative ideas for conducting business to get at the best results, but does not walk the talk. In truth, most of those in positions to make these things happen don't even understand most of the concepts. So they go back to what they have been doing all along, which is what makes them comfortable.

For those of you that are young, try to think about these things when dealing with other people. I do believe that you will get better results and garner achievements beyond your imagination.

Imagine the possibilities!!


Haunting! Yes Haunting is the only word that came to my mind when I finally got a chance to watch "YESTERDAY" that was aired on HBO on Monday, November 28th. Praise the lord for TiVo!

The Description of Yesterday by HBO:
"Set in today’s South Africa, YESTERDAY is a story of courage, compassion and hope that puts a human face on the AIDS crisis, following the struggles of a young mother with AIDS as she tries to secure her daughter’s future. Set against the awesome, harsh landscapes of South Africa, Yesterday is the first international feature film ever shot in the Zulu language. "

1st I'll say this. This was an excellent movie. For me it brough back so many memories of friends gone. I think that's why the movie was haunting for me. It reminded me of soo many things. I'm not going to tell you about the movie but instead the things that came to mind while and after watching it. I think you all should see it. It's on HBO so it'll show about 537 times this month.

The movie reminded me of the great sadness, disbelief and fear that I witnessed and felt. I know that many of us in my age bracket especially can relate to that statement.

It also reminded me of the 1st furneral that I attended in 1981 for someone who had passed away due to AIDS complications.

I got a call from a my friend Greg telling me that his ex-lover, who I also knew Vernon, had passed away. Vernon had been in the hospital off and on for awhile, but I never went to visit. I just couldn't bring myself to go. I was afraid, because I didn't really understand the disease. I thought that if I didn't go to the hospital and see him there that in my mind he was ok and like I just hadn't seen him in awhile. Or maybe I conjured up an illusion that he had moved away.

Well now the reality of AIDS was staring me right in the face because now the illusions that I wrapped around me like a soft and warm security blanket turned into a blanket of nails. The points of the nails pricked my skin in places on my body that made my eyes water and forced me to see that I was hurt.

The day of Vernon's funeral.

I don't remember the name of the funeral home where he was because it was not one of the bigger funeral homes in Los Angeles. When he was taken from the hospital he was first taken to Harrisson-Ross, who after finding out the cause of death refused to take him. They said they didn't have the facilities to take care of anyone who died in the manner in which Vernon had. Greg and Vernon's mother(Vernon's only family) called many funeral homes in the Black Community and were also turned away. Finally, this one small home decided to take him and allow the funeral to take place there. What a relief we all felt.

When we got to the funeral home we were told by the home that it would be a closed casket funeral. The home stated that due to health hazards this is how it had to be. This shocked us but because we were unfamiliar with the guidelines of funeral homes so we accepted what they said.

There was of course weeping and smiling as people spoke about the Vernon that we all knew. Then it was time to go to the Cemetray. Vernon's mother weeped and carressed the casket saying, "I just hate I can't see my baby before he is put to rest". In the limo to the Cemetary Greg asked her hadn't she seen him when they brought him to the home. She hadn't. The home told her that it was not possible for her to view him after embalming him due to those regulations.

This was not making sense now. Immediately outside the Cemetary the Hearse stopped. I saw Greg and Vernon's mother get out of the Limo. I didn't know what was going on but thought that it would be handled briefly. All of a sudden I could see the Hearse Driver, The limo Driver and officials from the Cemetary waving their hands in frustration and could hear inaudible sounds of anger from all. This is when those in the procession began to get out of our cars to see what was happening.

Once we all reached the Family we were told that the Hearse was stopped because Vernon's mother was not going to let her son be buried without her getting a last look at him. They stopped outside the cemetary because the proprietor said that because Vernon was in the Military and being buried at at government owned cemetary, once his body passed the gates he would become the property of the government and his mother would have no rights. Everyone was mortified to say the least.

The next thing I knew Greg was standing in front of the Hearse shouting, "You will not bring his body into this Cemetary until his mother gets a chance to see him". It was suggested that the Hearse driver open the casket right there on the side of the street. He said legally he could not do it. The next and only other option was to take him back to the funeral home. Back to the funeral home we all went.

Once we arrived back at the funeral home Greg and Vernon's mother were allow to go in the back to view his body. We all thought that all would be fine now. When the casket was opened, things could not have been further from fine that what I'm about to tell you.

Vernon was still naked and still wrapped in the sheet from the hospital and in a plastic bag! After this atrocity, you can imagine the yelling, screaming and whaling that took place. Even the local new station was called to to expose this funeral home and it's abhorrent behavior. They were not interested in the story.

The only thing left to do was to cancel the burial and have him moved from this funeral home. After 3 days Vernon was moved to a White owned funeral home who treated him with dignity.

Many people today do not know of the horrible things that took place like this. After that funeral I went to a funeral at least once a month for at least 2 years straight. I became numb after awhile and could not shed tears, nor did I have words to express how I felt. I was loosing friends as if they were roaches being exterminated.

They were not roaches, they were my friends, my extended family and past loves. They were and are important! Its strange that the importance of their deaths has so little meaning now. People who are HIV+ now do not look like they are HIV+ anymore. This has changed the face of the disease and caused many to feel safe from contracting this disease.

This is a double-edged sword. Because people feel less vulnerable they are taking more chances with their lives becasue they believe that if someone doesn't look like they have the AIDS antibodies then they must be ok. This is not a healthy attitude to take.

Doctors have done some amazing things for this disease by creating medications that cause those infected to blend in with those not infected. This is not only amazing it is important to the mental well being of the survivors. Back in the 80's and early 90's, family members, friends and anyone on the street treated people with HIV as if they could transmit the disease just by looking at you.

I wonder how long it will take those in Africa to be able to manage this disease as well as we are in the states.

Thank you for being a part of my life Vernon, Greg (yes Vernon's ex), George, Gregory, Joey, Michael, Vincent, Michael, Gary, Clifford, Al, and soooooo many other friends that are now watching all of us deal with the same disease that has a new face.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Running Out of Time.

Have you ever felt like; Man I don't have a dayum thing to do? So you just kinda walk around like a slug, eating, watching tv, sleeping and going to work? Then without any warning signs, you find that you don't have nearly enough time in the 24hour day to get everything that you need to done.

Well that's where I am right now. I have so many things that I'm working on that need attention all at the same time. One thing that I promised myself a long time ago. (Actually, it was after I was feeling under-appreciated at my place of employment. Working harder than any of my co-workers of little to no color were. Then I realized that this company does not care if I work here 12-15 hours daily. If they want to they will get rid of me just as quickly as I saw them get rid of individuals that were great contributors with advanced knowledge, experience and integrity who had been with the company for many years longer than myself.) That promise was to make sure that every day I take time for myself. Either to reflect on my personal life, watch my favorite tv programs everyday or just touch base with friends of mine via telephone or in person. In fact if need be, just do absolutely nothing for some period of time when you get home from work.

Well unfortunately keeping that promise to yourself can sometimes be difficult. Especially if you take any vacation time away from work and return to at least 85 new emails demanding attention and voicemails filling your inbox. See once you come back from vacation no one ever remembers that you were even on vacation and approach you as if you have been there the whole time. This means that on top of all the things you were away from the prior week, you are expected to attend to the new emails, phone calls, new projects and (most of the time) attend unnecessary and unproductive meetings of the current week. With all of that you are still expected to get things from last week and this week caught up before the end of the week. SIGH Now I have projects at home and at work that need attention.

- Make myself available for a Building Inspector to look at newly installed air conditioner
- Get quotes for paintiing the interior of the house
- Get the yard landscaped
- Work on some of the graphic projects that I've acquired on the side
- Pay bills
- Wash clothes
- Postpone jury duty because it begins the week right after xmas when I was going to be taking a trip
- Go to Dentist appoint that'll take 4 hours of my day
- Prepare for Bookclub meeting (I'm the President)
- Gather information on homeowner's repair needs. (I'm on the Homeowner's Association Board)
- Do this, do that, do this do that..blah blah blah blah blah

There's about 15 more things at least, to go on this list but it's is already getting on my nerves and I just don't want to think about it all at one time right now.

So what does one do? I guess the only thing that you can do. Take one thing at a time. If it gets done on time it does. If it doesn't, it doesn't. What the hell else can you do? I am not about to stress myself out about things like this. I enjoy being busy, but I'm not going to kill myself doing it. That's why I'm writing this blog right now, to relax.

OR am I just a procrastinator? I admit I do have a tendency to procrastinate somtimes. However, I guess what I'm really trying to say is this:


Well in case I don't win, I guess I better get a plan in place to tackle the things at home and the things at work in the 24hours that I have each day. I'll eat and get some sleep somewhere in there.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Just something funny

Here's a test that you might enjoy or even find something out about yourself. I'm not posting my results. Yall don't need to know all that about me. Hee hee

Holiday Blues

I think I'm getting the holiday blues! Grrrrrrrrrrrr

This is the time for families and lovers to show how much they love each other. Well that's what all of the advertisements say anyway. Unfortunately when you are single and living alone trying to make your way in this world it ain't so easy.

So this year I'm going to do things that I like to do. I'm not going to sit at home being bored and wondering where everybody is...cuz I already know. They are with their families. I'm going to make some stuff happen this year. If you know me be on the look out for things to come.

Not making new years resolutions, but I am making some changes in my life...Now don't expect them to happen over night cuz you know I'm very cautious about everything that I do. Give me a break my parents are from the old school that think if you have a job at the post office then you are in great shape. Well they aren't all wrong because my sister went to work there and then went out on disability for stress or something and hasn't worked since. She even has a bigger house than I do and buys a new car every two years.

This is my promise. I'm not going to be afraid to step out anymore...Don't you either. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005



Soooo many people write about love. They write about what it is and what it is not. So after all this writing about it. I wonder if any of the readers have a clue as to what it is yet? If someone were to write about ice and describe how it feels when you touch it we all would understand and be able to relate to it's coldness. This actually means something to us.

Love is a bit more elusive in wrapping our minds around it. I just want to know what it is so that the next time I go looking for it I will recognize it on the spot.

They say it will make us feel:

  • Safe
  • Complete
  • Valued
  • Never Alone
  • Butterflies
  • Giddy
  • Protective

And ooooh so many other things. The list goes on and on.

Why is it so difficult to find in this lifestyle? Why can't we obtain it? We've heard that love is all around us. Is it love that we're envisioning?

I envision love from someone that is genuinely interested in what I have to say. Someone who is compatible with me. Someone who is faithful. Someone who wants to understand me. Someone who is attracted to me as I am to him. Someone who is honest with me even when it may hurt my feelings. Someone who might not agree with me but that doesn't stop him from loving me. Someone that wants to make a plan with me. Someone that has his own ideas. Someone that is able to express himself intelligently. Someone who is Black. Someone who is kind. Someone who ... Are our lists too long? Is that why we can't find him?

Will it still be love if we begin to scratch some things off of our lists?

Oh hell! I have no idea! I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Don't make me wait to long Harpo! One of these mornings you're gonna look for me and I'll be gone.

I guess I'll start off by loving me.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Dear Media

Dear Media of the U.S.A,

You are making me very angry. What is this image that you are trying to propagate of me? You know that there are many shades of being gay. You want to paint me in just one shade of pink. Well I am not hardly pink. I am golden, bronze, brown, black and many other variations in hue. When you paint me in one color that's all anyone will see.

No one will ever know the vast colors that I possess. You've made me hide my colors either in my closet of secrecy and decadence or forced me into silence with only the comfort of my grey wool coat to hide the vibrant red of my soul.

Do I scare you into seeing yourself in color? Do I destroy what you think happiness and love should be? Whatever your reasons, they are gradually crumbling before your feet. I am slowly but surely showing the bright yellows through the keyhole of my closet and unbuttoning my coat to entice you with the ebony richness of my strong heart.

Like Langston Hughes, Audre Lorde and James Baldwin, I'm nurturing a new Black Gay renaissance that will blind you as if looking into an eclispe.

With No Apologies,
Black, African-American, Creole, Mixed and Gay, Homosexual, Same Gender Loving Me

Is Oprah Talking To You??

I haven't written on my blog in a few days...But now...I have some things on my mind. I just like many others, watched the Oprah show of "When I Knew I Was Gay". I thought I was going to hear something really deep but it was a bunch of M-bleep F-bleepin Sh-bleep ...I actually have no idea what the hell that show was.

I just can not figure it out....Is she attempting to do some gay movie or something soon? She had a bunch of media hungry queens trying to etch out some sort of celebrity. The most notable one on the show was Carson Kressley..from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. One of the most annoying on the show too I might add. Anyway, He's the only one that was on the show that anyone knew. The queeniest of them all too. Although the black one was trying to compete with his not even funny comments. See I can't even remember what his name is and don't feel like going back to Oprah's site to find out. The author was a pretty quite white guy. He didn't say a whole lot and the show was sorta based around his book. Go figure. Guess Oprah was bored with him to...So she I guess she thought she would make jokes and act all confused about different things that they were being said.

Anyway by now I'm sure that you have gathered that I didn't think the show was very enlightening at all. Oprah tried to be insightful with the lesbian couple and the in denial mother. However, that was ineffective too! Since the lesbian girlfriend was saying that she wasn't gay..or in her head she knows she's gay because she's dating a lesbian. What???????? Sounds similar to Lynn's situation on Girlfriends to me or something crazy like that. What kind of research did her producers do for this show...My God!

Oprah is becoming quite the character. I hadn't been watching her show for awhile and recently started TiVo-ing it. She's had some heavy subjects on lately, but has she run out of ideas or what? I'm not hating Oprah, I'm extremely proud that a Black Woman has been able to achieve what she has. However, when you constantly are saying that you want to make a difference, and you have the means to do it right. And by all means don't play dumb for all the White Sally's who think you are the Female Messiah.

Now if you want watch a show that is ground breaking in the black Gay, Same Gender Loving, or Homosexual world (or however you want to identify yourself), watch the Herndon Davis Reports. He's on the , the Healthy Living Channel. There you will hear interviews with people that are real and representative of the real black gay experience.

Now I'm not comparing Oprah and Herndon, but it's time we did somethings for ourselves and that is exactly what Herndon is attempting to do. He's getting our stories told. The thing about his show is, it's not for the white housewife with the VP husband, that can be at home when Oprah comes on ....His show is about and for us.

Ok Herndon if your listening, this is for you....All of you out there. Ask your local cable and satellite operators for the Herndon Davis Reports. Who knows we might have a Male Gay Oprah in the making. If we don't help each other who will. You see how white-washed Noah's Arc is started out then attempted some blackness then got that washed out again. And Oprah certainly isn't. You all saw how she humiliated Jonathan Plummer and empathized with Terry McMillian. I'm not even going to mention that show she did with J.L. King. Nuff said.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

How Old Are You?

I was talking to a friend today and he told me that he ran into a very attractive guy the other day that was seriously cruising him. He said the guy was actually following him through the mall. He then stopped and approached the youngster and asked him how old he was, if he knew what he was doing and if he had any friends in the lifestyle. The youngster answered 17 years old and No, that he didn't have any friends like himself.

So with that my friend gave him some information on where he could meet guys his own age. I think that my friend showed a great deal of respect for himself and this young innocent man. It was all he knew to do...My friend that is. I asked my, why he didn't make friends with them to become a mentor of sorts. No not to have sex with the delicious specimen in front of him...But to help him through the convoluted, unscripted treacherous life waters of our style. My friend didn't feel comfortable with that as a matter of fact he even introduced his roommate who was with him to the guy as to have a witness to the innocence of their conversation in case any repercussions might arise from this encounter.

After he told me about this occurrence it got me to thinking about when I was 17 years old. I came from a pretty middle class family so with that being said I was very sheltered. I had no idea about the things that boys did or anything else that adults did in the real world. Television was not as unapologetic as it is today so there were no images for me to learn from, negative or positive.

I wonder if my friend did the right thing for that young man. Will he contact one of those organizations or will he be too scared to enter the doors on his own accord that will surely change his life forever?

I know I wouldn't have. I would have been too afraid that someone would have seen me walking into the building. So therefore I was left to my own devices as many of us are to figure out the good and the bad paths of this birthright on our own. Needless to say there were many incidences that shaped my life and caused me some pain and some happiness. However, I felt in most cases that I didn't have a choice as I was in a sense finding my way through in the dark.

I think I might have handled things a little differently with the young man. I did once before and am very proud of the young man that I feel like I had a hand in raising. He was 14 years old but looked like he was at least 21. He acted like he was much older too. He was out and about and could handle himself in all the conversations with the elders of any setting he found himself in.

Once I found out how old he was and that he lived in a group home, I was compelled to tell him that if he ever wanted to talk about anything that he could call me. Well I didn't expect a call the next day or anything but after a little while he did indeed call. He told me about some of the experiences that he had been having and without judgment, I just let him talk and ask me questions. I tried to be as objective as possible in letting him know that this was his life and that he need to think about what he actually wanted his life to look like in the future. Well he is now 24 years old and living on his own. Although I have helped him a couple of times when his rent was a little short. He's paid me back every cent.

At one time I was traveling a lot and he would house sit for me while I was gone. After I returned from one trip I found a letter from him telling me how much he appreciated and loved me for being there for him in some of the roughest times of his life. He continued by saying that without me he is sure that his life would have taken a turn for the worse and that he would not have gained as much as he has today. He said more but I won't go into all of that...His final statement was again that he was grateful for having me in his life and for my being his adopted Uncle.

It all goes to show you, you never know how you are going to affect someone else's life. Please be careful when dealing with the young guys who from the all the hormones in the foods today look and feel like adults. You will be touching their lives in ways that you may never understand. And you better ask these boys, HOW OLD ARE YOU???? With Oprah's crusade against child molesters, the next sounds you might hear are the CLINK CLICK of a jail cell.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Don't You Know Who I Am?

Don't you know who I am? My people are Black Kings and Queens! We have endured more than any other people on this planet. You can call me names and take opportunity away from me. However, that will not stop me from being creative, intelligent, motivated and beautiful.

You're pretending that you don't know me. But I know you do. That's why you attempt to diminish my spirit, so that you can feel like you are more important than I. You steal my music and dance and call it your own. We all know that's a lie as your rhythm is not as fluid as mine.

You steal my style. You envy the natural decorations of my physic. Without trying I am beautiful. That you can not change. Don't you know who I am. My people are Black Kings and Queens!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

One Day

One day I'm not going to have to: sit in the dark all alone anymore
One day I'm not going to have to: worry about how much I spend or don't spend
One day I'm not going to have to: worry whether the boys at the club or any social gathering find me attractive.

One day I'm not going to care: what my manager thinks about me in their yearly/quarterly or daily judgment of me.
One day I'm not going to care: if my parents or family accept me for who I am or not.
One day I'm not going to care: what clothes I wear or if they are in style.
One day I'm going to get over missing all my friends who have died or live far away.

One day...oh What the F*&#%..
Bye, I love you Rodney!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for this special announcement.

"This just in, Vance Hampton up and coming Architect of Los Angeles found dead hanging from his newly acquired Villa in Rome, Italy last night. Reportedly, he was found hanging from the staircase railing. The Italian police have not given much detail as they are still investigating whether foul play was at hand. We will provide you with more information on this story as details are revealed. This is Chet Johnson of POCTV News"

People of Color TV now returns you to your regularly scheduled programming of the documentary Black Hope: Black Executives with their own Dream, already in progress.

Just trying something out...As I get ready to fall asleep.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Pearl Bailey


Do any of yall remember Pearl Bailey? Man I used to love to watch her on television and in movies. She was sooo funny and could sing too!

See yall might not remember television back in the day when there weren't that many black people on it. I don't know how we knew when someone black was going to be on, but it would spread like wildfire. And believe me everybody would be in front of their televisions. Yes in front of them because there were no VCRs. oooh my I know yall think I'm old...But really it wasn't that long ago that VCRs came about...And now we have DVD recorders.

Time stops for no one I guess. Anyway, If you don't know anything about Pearl you should rent one of her movies or something. I think you'll enjoy her personality. A good one to get if you can find it is Hello Dolly. She won a Tony for her performance in that on Broadway. She was also in Porgy and Bess. She also had her only variety show: The Pearl Bailey Show, in 1970-71.

My great aunt God rest her soul claimed that she was friends with Pearl and they went to school together. Hmmmm I don't know, cuz Pearl was born in Virginia and my great aunt was in Maryland. Who knows maybe Pearl moved to Maryland at some point in her young life, cuz I know my aunt lived in Annapolis all her life.

Don't let me get to talking about that aunt. She was one sharp lady...dressed her behind off and was full of life.

Some other things you might not have known about her is she was Goodwill Ambassador to the United Nations under the administrations of Presidents Ford, Reagan and George Bush.
Returned to school in 1978, and received a bachelorĂ‚’s degree in theology from Georgetown University at the age of sixty-seven, as well as an honorary doctorate degree from the school.

So no matter what you think about some of the movies you see her in....this woman was no dummy.

Thursday, October 27, 2005


Why is it that when you need to attend to a task and then put it off because you say to yourself that you'll take care of it later. An event takes place that forces you to take care of it immediately, whether you feel prepared or not. There's an old saying, "If you want to make God laugh, make some plans."

Well I don't know if God wants to laugh at us, but I do know that when things you plan don't come through like you expected somehow you get stronger. Somehow we always kick into another gear of tenacity. Well that is the hope anyway. Anything else could be quite dismal.

Why don't we ever learn to take care of the things that we need to take care of before they become a bigger problem? I guess that's what corporate America means when they tell you to make sure that you have balance in your life. It's disgusting the lies that corporate America tells the world.

Well how in the world can you have any balance when they continually pass on more and more

responsibilities in your direction. If you do not perform to their expectations you are deemed an under achiever.

Anyway, me and my unexpected toothache are going to go to bed and try to make sure that I make a dentist appointment tomorrow. Lawd how much is this going to cost me?!?!?!


Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Thank You Noah's Arc!

This probably one of the rare times that anyone will catch me eating my words. I must say that I completely enjoyed Noah's Arc tonight!!!! I laughed, empathasized and was connected to the characters tonight. As my manger at work says..."There's always room for improvement. With that being said, although you are doing a wonderful job, I can't give you the highest rating for your Performance Review." The same goes for Noah's Arc..but I must say the improvements have jumped by leaps and bounds compared to last week.

Some of the characters are still sort of YT-ish. However, they were at least believeable this week. I think some acting classes have been taking place. The main thing that stood out for me was that the characters are developing more depth. Bravo!

I'm looking forward to next week show!

Just a joke

I don't have anything to say today so here's a joke.

A woman called her boss one morning to tell him that she was not coming in to work today.

He said, "What's the matter?"

The woman replied, "I have Anal Glaucoma."

"What the hell is that!" he said

She said, "It's I can't see my ass coming into work today."

I wonder if my Management would buy that from me???

Monday, October 24, 2005

Remembering An Icon

Rosa Parks has passed away of natural causes. I recieved a phone call from a friend of mine in New York not too long ago asking me if I heard that Rosa Parks had passed away. What!? Was my response as on some level I guess we think that the people who have done anything significant in this world are supposed to live forever. Unfortunately that is not the case, physically at least. Her name will be spoken and remembered for her act for many many years to come. The significance of her act I believe have diminished over the 50 years since her arrest. However, One should realize that if not for her efforts the racism and segregation that is so covert today would not be at all. Can you imagine someone telling you that you must come through the back door of anyplace that today you walk into so freely.

I had the pleasure and extreme honor of meeting Rosa Parks at a Black History Celebration at my company. Mrs. Parks was our keynote speaker. The event was held accross the street at the Hilton Hotel to hold all of the employees and other spectators that attended. The feeling that came over the room is indescribable. The event took place almost 10 years ago and to this day I still can not articulate the feeling. Many people in the room immediately wept as she made her way to the podium. When she introduced herself, the applause was the real definition of thunderous! Awe is the only word that comes to my mind when I think about the experience.

I want to leave you with these words from Mrs. Parks.

At a celebration in her honor, she said: "I am leaving this legacy to all of you ... to bring peace, justice, equality, love and a fulfillment of what our lives should be. Without vision, the people will perish, and without courage and inspiration, dreams will die - the dream of freedom and peace."

As on the day that I met and briefly spoke with Mrs. Parks I have no more words.

Roll Bounce

WOW! Have you heard the Roll Bounce Soundtrack. Well I love music and it is really nice. Now I'm not the biggest fan of Destiny's Child...but I must say that Michelle and Beyonce did an excellent job of the songs they sang. Check them can hear a little bit of it on Amazon.

I was listening to the cd while putting my clothes back in the closet. No, I wasn't washing clothes and putting them away. Friday morning I was on my computer doing some work and needed to get something from out of my bedroom. To my surprise, all of my clothes were sitting on the floor of the closet!

I think this was a sign that I might have waaaaay too many clothes. Well it is spring and that is when I normally go into my closet and give away clothes. I thought I had given away a lot earlier in the year and cleaned a lot out. I guess not! My closet say differently. I be donating my clothes to a worthy cause. Any suggestions on a deserving charity let me know. I'll be asking around myself as well.

So now what does one do when your closet is a shambles? Get a closet organizer. California Closets? Naw it would probably take weeks before they would even give me an appointment and cost thousands. So off to Ikea I went on Friday afternoon. They have a really cool wadrobe planner that helps you determine how to configure your closet. 15 mins later I was shelling out a few hundred bucks for my new closet to be delivered the next day.

Here is the lesson of the day. When you buy a new article of clothing remove something from your closet. Oh yeah I love my new closet. It took all day to put it up, but I had help from a good friend.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Why a Blog?

A friend of mine Frederick Smith author of Down For Whatever conducted a creative writing course a few weeks ago that I attended. I really enjoyed the class. Frederick told me that he thought that I was funny. Ok for funny. Well anyway, so I figured that if I did want to write a book or something I probably should get some practice. Hence, here I am creating a blog that so far not many people are even looking at. LOL oh well it's thereapy for me as well.

I just wanted to share one of the things I wrote in Fredericks class. Mind you we only had about 10 mintues to write this stuff with a pen and piece of paper. Isn't it weird how difficult it has become to write with writing tools now that we are in the age of the computer. It was such a slow process.

Ok I'll stop stalling, here's the examples. Frederick gave each of us 2 1st lines from already published books. We didn't know what the book was but were asked to continue from that 1st line.

1st lines 1
I guess the whole mess started around my birthday.
My phone rang and it was Pearl calling.

“So what time do I pick you up”, she said.

“Don’t I get a hello or even a Happy Birthday! I yelled into the phone.

Oh yeah Happy Birthday Baby! I’m sorry I’m just so excited about today and I forgot that it’s about you.

I sighed, thinking here we go again with the same old Birthday routine. Pearl picks me up and then the rest of the gang and off to Magic Mountain. “I guess around 10am.”

“Cool I’ll see you then”, and hung up to get everyone else in place.

So here we are, all in Pearl’s Navigator on our way. Jason and Arthur arguing as usual about Jason flirting at the club, Sylvia eating Oatmeal Raison Cookies her favorite breakfast treat, of all things, Pearl driving by Braille on the freeway and singing off tune and me sitting here wondering why I’m alone.

1st lines 2
The only reason I’m sitting on a toilet in the handicapped stall of the ladies’ room is because I’m hiding.
He’s always chasing me, so I think this is one place he won’t look. I come to the Recreation Center every week. Sometimes he’s here and just looks at me from across the room. That’s when there are a lot of people around. Other times, if he catches me alone in a hallway he’ll make some lewd comment to me like “I would eat your shit for miles just to see where it leads”. Now he tries to touch me. He’s a grotesque, pimply, smelly, overweight white man that owns the grocery store where my mother shops. My under arms sweat every time she sends me to the store, praying the whole 2 blocks that Mr. Slocomb will not be there today. As I walk into the door my heart begins to beat as if it’s about to jump out of my chest. My mouth is dry and breathing gets faint.

I know they are short but we only had a few minutes. I might expand on the sencond story. Of course I'll have to change the 1st line cuz that is not my writing. Maybe I'll just start with the 2nd line.

Friday, October 21, 2005

NBA Dress Code Bans the Bling

"I feel like if they want us to dress a certain way, they should pay for our clothes," said Philadelphia's Allen Iverson. "It's just tough, man, knowing that all of a sudden you have to have a dress code out of nowhere. I don't think that's going to help the image of the league at all. ... It kind of makes it fake. The whole thing is fake."

Hmmm now I maybe wrong but is his salary close to $16,453,125.00? Buy your own clothes Allen.

To get paid that much money talent, skill or not, they all should put on a flowered hat if they ask them to. Think about it, if sports weren't such revered activities in this country and others, what would most of these guys being doing. Sad to say but one does wonder.

Yes, I do think that much of this ban is racially motivated. Here's how I think it all came about.

White wife of a big time sponsor: I just love coming to banquets like this. The flower arrangements are so beautiful. Oh my I dear I think we are about to get robbed a thug just walked into the room!

White husband: Hahaha on no precious angel, that's Allen Iverson one of the Top paid NBA players in the sport.

White wife: I don't care how much he makes, I don't feel safe and he scares me. Has he ever been to jail?

Fade to Ban on the Bling.

Here's the flip side.

Basketball Player: Business Casual?!?!?! As much money as I make for these sponsors I should be able to wear whatever the hell I want!!

YT: You vill do as I say! Hiel Me

Thursday, October 20, 2005

What did you think of Noah's Arc?

Well Noah's Arc came on the Logo channel tonight for the 1st time. What did yall think? Well I saw the DVD's and saw it at the Film Festivale and still think the same thing. Good concept but weak acting. Not only do I think it's weak acting it also lacked any real Afro-centricness. Is that a word?? Well even if it's not I know you know what I mean. There are plenty of educated African American SGL men who are in situations such as the characters on this show. However, I'm just not quite sure that there are many brothas that can relate to these characters. 1st of all don't they all sound pretty white? Well except for the token large set effeminte brotha. Now I know there are all kinds of brothas walking around this big world, but I don't think many fit the characteristics of the men portrayed here. I'm sure for those brothas who do sound as white as the characters on this show, this was a big triumph. For me it wasn't. I know some very educated brothas and none of them sound a bit like anyone I saw on this show. The closest to my real world were the two finest brothas on the show below. What are your thoughts people?

New to the Blog World

Ok here I am blogging just like so many other people. What I say here may come as a surprise to many, but then again, it might just be refreshing. Everytime it will be MY TRUTH.