Saturday, October 05, 2013
I went to a young couple's wedding last weekend. I know we've all been to many. However, this wedding was very special. The young bride was pregnant and the young groom so proud and honored to be marrying his best friend. You see this couple have known each other since they were children. They lived right next door to each other all while they grew up and grew in love with each other.
I must say that this was one of the best weddings that I have been to in a while. There was such love all around. Everyone was filled with joy. I know it sounds corny to say but I was actually experiencing joy all around me. Then the dancing started and the floor was filled with everyone just simply having a great time with family, friends, and new acquaintances. It was really a special wedding.
As we were leaving the reception the young bride was seated with her feet up and her mother, mother-in-law and close girlfriends surrounding her rubbing her feet and making her feel comfortable. The wedding and excitement must have been stressful on her body.
Fast forward to today. I get a text message telling me to pray for the couple as she is in the hospital with a condition called Non-Immune Hydrops Fetalis (sort of like a fetal heart attack). The mortality rate is 60-90%. It's a rare condition that occurs in 1-2000 births.
40 minutes later another text that the baby no longer has a heartbeat. The mother's health is in danger. The baby will be aborted and the doctors will be working on the mother.
I am praying for a positive outcome for the mother. My thoughts and prayers are with this young couple and their families.
I just don't know what to say right now…I don't know what I'll say later…What does this mean? The outpouring of love that will be bestowed upon this couple will be enormous. I do hope that they will recover from this tragedy mentally healthy from the healing of all of our love.
that's all i can say
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
A couple of weeks ago I had a colonoscopy and polyps were found. Just 2.
When polyps are found, they are removed and then perform a biopsy to check for cancer. I am soo happy to say that no cancer was found.
Not only am I happy because I don't have cancer! I'm happy because I don't think I could take an additional piece of news that is not favorable at this time in my life.
Now I'm happy in my relationship but work life has been anything but happiness for me.
Last week an announcement was made to our department that there would be restructuring of our organization. Now everybody knows what that means. Yep! Layoffs!
We were told that once we left the department meeting that we would have an invitation to a meeting with our management that would tell us what the new organization would be.
Sure enough as soon as we got back to our desks there were meeting appointments. I always look to see who else is invited to meetings that are sent to me. Low and behold there were only about 10 people on my list. I went to the meeting in one of our conference rooms on a different floor from where I sit.
When walking into the room what I observed was the following:
- 2 other employees already seated in the u-shaped set up conference room
- Boxes of kleenex on the table
- An HR representative on the left side of the room
- Our VP at the front of the U-shaped table set up sitting on the desk with a piece of paper in his hand.
Can't remember exactly how it was read, but ultimately the message was that we will not be a part of the new organization and that we have a sheet with another appointment on it so that HR can explain to you what your severance package will be commencing in 2 months.
I'm riddled with multiple emotions…none of which involve tears. I'm happy and scared. Happy because I've been so disgusted by the direction of the company and my group. Scared because I am unsure of what the future holds for me. The hardest part of this whole thing is the amount of work that they are asking me to do to support the efforts of outsourcing my job to …yes you guessed it…to a company in India! So I'm asking the universe..
What Cha Gonna Do For Me?????
Thursday, February 07, 2013
I've been having a lot of hard days at work lately. Sweet Brown expresses my sentiment quite nicely. There are things happening in corporate america that are quite underhanded just to make a dollar when in reality there isn't a dollar to make.
If you are of a certain age or complexion beware. I'm just saying.
I've gotta make a change…I just don't have time for this anymore!
Sunday, April 08, 2012
It's happening and it's not as subtle as it used to be. It's just more calculated. It came on quickly. I can tell it's something that happens in the rooms where we are not invited. It happens when we walk away from out desks.
I gotta think about this. I gotta think what to do. I gotta think…
They are after me now. I gotta think.
Why are Black people letting this happen again? Didn't our leaders of the past work themselves to death and were killed so that we wouldn't have to change who we are? Weren't we good enough just the way we were? What happen to cause us to change our demeanor and the way that we speak just because we walked into that Corporate office? Hmmm reminds me of Slavery Days when we pasted big smiles on our faces and and held our heads a little low so that we weren't looking them straight in the eyes.
Comments like, "You're very passionate" are not compliments. "You're emotional" is just another way of saying that you are unstable. "The way you say things can be viewed as offensive." In other words I don't like you being direct.
Now that that's been drilled into you over and over again the comments are: You're not engaged, You don't seem happy, Do you think you're being a team player?
Black people….what do you think you need to do? Many of you don't know because the leaders that fought and died for our equality didn't teach you how what the fight was really all about. Didn't teach you that we have strength that could sustain us for hundreds of years. Don't think just because you're educated that your accepted. Don't think because of civil rights and diversity initiatives that you are save. The world is getting smaller and Black people need to realize that.
The jobs that we fought for are now being done by consultants from foreign countries and sometimes completely moved to other countries. Think about the the calls you make to customer service. Most times you're not getting someone in Idaho but in India or the Philippines.
We gotta think..what's going to sustain us? Not the handouts of Diversity programs that do not sustain those it employes. We gotta think….what's our next move?
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Golden rules for finding your life partner
When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to
finding Mr./Miss. Right!
If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love"; I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love.
Though this may sound "not politically correct", there' s a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then
the love will com e. Let me say it again:
"You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone"; You need a lot more!!!
Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.
QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You
need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage:
(1) You can grow together, or
(2) You can grow apart.
50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what t you want out of life! Bottom line; and marry someone who wants the same thing.
QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.
Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" ; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague's of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.
QUESTION..3: Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions.
Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
Are they serious about improving themselves?
A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right ";.So ask about your Significant other What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?
Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.
There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and
(2) People who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.
You need to know that before walking down the aisle.
QUESTION..4: How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they
wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following:
How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc. ..
How do they treat their parents and siblings?
Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything;
Can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.
QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.
In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart.
It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger,
You don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.
Another perspective. ....
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance....
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships.
Observe the relationships around you.
Pay attention... .
Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?
The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, pity, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.
Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?
What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter them.
You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.
WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG ARE:
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes,
8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT
Sunday, January 08, 2012
Ten Guidelines From God
please be aware that there are changes YOU need
to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be
completed in order that I may fulfill My promises
to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in
this life. I apologize for any inconvenience,
but after all that I am doing, this seems very
little to ask of you. Please, follow
these 10 guidelines
1. QUIT WORRYING:
Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit
and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here
to take all your burdens and carry them for you?
Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little
thing that comes your way?
2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:
Something needs done or taken care of. Put it
on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY
to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care
of the problem.. I can't help you until you turn
it over to Me. And although My to-do-list
is long, I am after all... God. I can take care
of anything you put into My hands. In fact,
if the truth were ever really known, I take
care of a lot of things for you that you never
3. TRUST ME:
Once you've given your burdens to Me,
quit trying to take them back. Trust in
Me. Have the faith that I will take care of
all your needs, your problems and your trials.
Problems with the kids? Put them on My list.
Problem with finances? Put it on My list.
Problems with your emotional roller coaster?
For My sake, put it on My list. I want to
help you. All you have to do is ask.
4. LEAVE IT ALONE:
Don't wake up one morning and say,
"Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think
I can handle it from here." Why do you think
you are feeling stronger now? It's simple.
You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking
care of them. I also renew your strength
and cover you in my peace. Don't you
know that if I give you these problems back,
you will be right back where you started?
Leave them with Me and forget about
them. Just let Me do my job.
5. TALK TO ME:
I want you to forget a lot of things...
Forget what was making you crazy.
Forget the worry and the fretting because
you know I'm in control. But there's one
thing I pray you never forget. Please, don't
forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU!
I want to hear your voice. I want you to
include Me in on the things going on in your life.
I want to hear you talk about your friends
and family. Prayer is simply you having
a conversation with Me. I want to be your
6. HAVE FAITH:
I see a lot of things from up here that you
can't see from where you are. Have faith in
Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me;
you wouldn't want the view from My eyes.
I will continue to care for you, watch over you,
and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me.
Although I have a much bigger task than you,
it seems as if you have so much trouble just
doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?
You were taught to share when you were
only two years old. When did you forget?
That rule still applies. Share with those who are
less fortunate than you. Share your joy with
those who need encouragement. Share your
laughter with those who haven't heard any in
such a long time. Share your tears with those
who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith
with those who have none.
8. BE PATIENT:
I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime
you could have so many diverse experiences.
You grow from a child to an adult, have children,
change jobs many times, learn many trades,
travel to so many places, meet thousands
of people, and experience so much. How can
you be so impatient then when it takes Me
a little longer than you expect to handle
something on My to-do-list? Trust in My
timing, for My timing is perfect. Just
because I created the entire universe in
only six days, everyone thinks I should
always rush, rush, rush.
9. BE KIND :
Be kind to others, for I love them just
as much as I love you. They may not dress
like you, or talk like you, or live the same way
you do, but I still love you all. Please try
to get along, for My sake. I created each
of you different in some way. It would be
too boring if you were all identical.
Please, know I love each of your differences.
10.. LOVE YOURSELF:
As much as I love you, how can you not
love yourself? You were created by me for
one reason only -- to be loved, and to love
in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me.
Love your neighbors. But also love yourself.
It makes My heart ache when I see you
so angry with yourself when things go
wrong. You are very precious to me.
Don't ever forget......
Sunday, October 23, 2011
I feel happy, safe, weird and grateful.
Happy because this brotha makes me smile!
Safe - Why is that even an issue for me at the age that I am right now but that's the word that came out of my head. I feel like he's trustworthy.
Weird because I've never dated anyone except for my 1st that I didn't use any qualifiers to describe them. You know...I like him but he just got laid off, he's nice to me but his mother is his best friend and takes up a lot of his time...etc...you get the gist.
Grateful that he is thoughtful and thinks about me and lets me know it even when he's not around.
I have a saying that I always use...Enjoy the moment...Well right now I am not only enjoying the moments I am looking forward and anticipating the moments with him.
Things are easy with him. I must say I put into the universe awhile ago that I wanted to be with someone that it would be easy to get to know. From our 1st date the conversation flowed for 4 hours when I think we both thought it might be an hour drink at a local bar.
This is different for me and I'm relishing in it. Speak into existence what it is you really want and it shall be yours.
It's scary writing things like this because my old self would say, now watch this end in a few more weeks. Throwing that negativity away cuz this feels real. I'm not naive by any stretch of the word and I am paying attention to the things he says and does. They all match! No question that I've asked has he not answered straightfowardly. No flags of doubt have surfaced. This feels good.
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Saturday, November 06, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
I had written a post about a young black man that reportedly committed suicide. I have since found out that it was a hoax. On top of all the disturbing things regarding teen suicide people are now playing games about it...disgusting.
Interestingly enough I can not find this article on the LGBTNATION's website anylonger. Maybe it's true that this article was false or a hoax. However, my comments related to this subject still stand, whether Terrell is a real victim or not.
Every channel has coverage about this trend, it's sensational, is appalling, it's heinous. Talking to parents about it doesn't seem to be the answer as I see it. Oprah asking parents to pay attention to their kids is not working either. Somehow these kids need to feel empowered to take action and protect themselves without fear of retribution.
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Saturday, July 03, 2010
Ms Davidson is an example of this. Shouldn't we all strive to make each other feel good instead of working to feel better than others?
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Thursday, May 06, 2010
I know it's strange to say but I almost feel excited about that time. Just think of it. All the family members and friends that you love and have such good memories about all being in one place with no judgments, drama or issues. Just together having a good time.
Man what a party that will be! Just imagine being in one place with all the people that have held a special place in your heart.
I hope this makes you smile thinking about who you'll see.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
After listening to this how does it make you feel?
Friday, January 29, 2010
The 6 stages to the Change Cycle include:
1. Loss: Feeling of Fear, Thoughts are cautious, Behavior is paralyzed.
2. Doubt: Feeling of resentment, thoughsts are skeptical behavior is resistant.
3. Discomfort: Feeling of anxiety, thoughts are confused, Behavior is unproductive
4. Discovery: Feeling of Anticipation, Thoughts are creative, Behavior is energized.
5. Understanding: feeling of confidence, thoughts are pragmatic, behavior is productive.
6. Integration: Feeliing of satisfaction, thoughts are focused, behavior is generous.
The better you get at change the quicker you go through the 6 stages. The dangerous thing is that many people spend too much time between stages 3 & 4 which cause them to become stagnant and sometimes start back at stage 1.
The key is believing that you can get through the change.
A friends mother told me...there are 3 stroms of life...A storm is coming, your in the middle of storm, or coming out of one. Get yourself to get through these stages as quickly as possible. You'll be a lot better equiped to handle change without it affecting you adversely.