Showing posts with label D-Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label D-Thoughts. Show all posts

Saturday, October 05, 2013

that's all i can say

I know I haven't blogged in awhile.  But right now this is all I can think to do.  I need to express this.

I went to a young couple's wedding last weekend.  I know we've all been to many.  However, this wedding was very special.  The young bride was pregnant and the young groom so proud and honored to be marrying his best friend.  You see this couple have known each other since they were children.  They lived right next door to each other all while they grew up and grew in love with each other.

I must say that this was one of the best weddings that I have been to in a while.  There was such love all around.  Everyone was filled with joy.  I know it sounds corny to say but I was actually experiencing joy all around me.  Then the dancing started and the floor was filled with everyone just simply having a great time with family, friends, and new acquaintances.  It was really a special wedding.

As we were leaving the reception the young bride was seated with her feet up and her mother, mother-in-law and close girlfriends surrounding her rubbing her feet and making her feel comfortable.  The wedding and excitement must have been stressful on her body.

Fast forward to today.  I get a text message telling me to pray for the couple as she is in the hospital with a condition called Non-Immune Hydrops Fetalis (sort of like a fetal heart attack).  The mortality rate is 60-90%.  It's a rare condition that occurs in 1-2000 births.

40 minutes later another text that the baby no longer has a heartbeat.  The mother's health is in danger.  The baby will be aborted and the doctors will be working on the mother.

I am praying for a positive outcome for the mother.  My thoughts  and prayers are with this young couple and their families.

I just don't know what to say right now…I don't know what I'll say later…What does this mean?  The outpouring of love that will be bestowed upon this couple will be enormous.  I do hope that they will recover from this tragedy mentally healthy from the healing of all of our love.

that's all i can say

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Oh Happy Day and What Cha Gonna Do For Me

Oh Happy Day!!!!

A couple of weeks ago I had a colonoscopy and polyps were found.  Just 2.

When polyps are found, they are removed and then perform a biopsy to check for cancer.  I am soo happy to say that no cancer was found.

Not only am I happy because I don't have cancer!  I'm happy because I don't think I could take an additional piece of news that is not favorable at this time in my life.

Now I'm happy in my relationship but work life has been anything but happiness for me.

Last week an announcement was made to our department that there would be restructuring of our organization.  Now everybody knows what that means.  Yep!  Layoffs!

We were told that once we left the department meeting that we would have an invitation to a meeting with our management that would tell us what the new organization would be.

Sure enough as soon as we got back to our desks there were meeting appointments.  I always look to see who else is invited to meetings that are sent to me.  Low and behold there were only about 10 people on my list.  I went to the meeting in one of our conference rooms on a different floor from where I sit.

When walking into the room what I observed was the following:

  • 2 other employees already seated in the u-shaped set up conference room
  • Boxes of kleenex on the table
  • An HR representative on the left side of the room
  • Our VP at the front of the U-shaped table set up sitting on the desk with a piece of paper in his hand.
Nothing was said to us except "Hello".   Then the VP announced that we would get started in a few more minutes while those dialing into the meeting phoned in.  (Can't believe they did this by phone.)  Anyway, the VP announced that he wanted to read a statement because he felt it was very important that he didn't miss anything and that we heard al the details.  I'm thinking to myself do you think we don't know what this is about simply because of the boxes of kleenex on the table dumb ass??

Can't remember exactly how it was read, but ultimately the message was that we will not be a part of the new organization and that we have a sheet with another appointment on it so that HR can explain to you what your severance package will be commencing in 2 months.

I'm riddled with multiple emotions…none of which involve tears.  I'm happy and scared.  Happy because I've been so disgusted by the direction of the company and my group.  Scared because I am unsure of what the future holds for me.  The hardest part of this whole thing is the amount of work that they are asking me to do to support the efforts of outsourcing my job to …yes you guessed it…to a company in India!  So I'm asking the universe..

What Cha Gonna Do For Me?????

Thursday, February 07, 2013

Ain't Nobody Got Time for Dat!

I've been having a lot of hard days at work lately.  Sweet Brown expresses my sentiment quite nicely.  There are things happening in corporate america that are quite underhanded just to make a dollar when in reality there isn't a dollar to make.
If you are of a certain age or complexion beware.  I'm just saying.  

I've gotta make a change…I just don't have time for this anymore!

Sunday, April 08, 2012

Corporate Slavery

It's happening and it's not as subtle as it used to be.  It's just more calculated.  It came on quickly. I can tell it's something that happens in the rooms where we are not invited.  It happens when we walk away from out desks.

 I gotta think about this.  I gotta think what to do.  I gotta think…

They are after me now.  I gotta think.

Why are Black people  letting this happen again?  Didn't our leaders of the past work themselves to death and were killed so that we wouldn't have to change who we are?  Weren't we good enough just the way we were?  What happen to cause us to change our demeanor and the way that we speak just because we walked into that Corporate office?  Hmmm reminds me of Slavery Days when we pasted big smiles on our faces and and held our heads a little low so that we weren't looking them straight in the eyes.

Comments like, "You're very passionate" are not compliments.  "You're emotional" is just another way of saying that you are unstable.  "The way you say things can be viewed as offensive." In other words I don't like you being direct.

Now that that's been drilled into you over and over again the comments are:   You're not engaged, You don't seem happy, Do you think you're being a team player?

Black people….what do you think you need to do?  Many of you don't know because the leaders that fought and died for our equality didn't teach you how what the fight was really all about.  Didn't teach you that we have strength that could sustain us for hundreds of years.  Don't think just because you're educated that your accepted.  Don't think because of civil rights and diversity initiatives that you are save. The world is getting smaller and Black people need to realize that.

The jobs that we fought for are now being done by consultants from foreign countries and sometimes completely moved to other countries.  Think about the the calls you make to customer service.  Most times you're not getting someone in Idaho but in India or the Philippines.

We gotta think..what's going to sustain us?   Not the handouts of Diversity programs that do not sustain those it employes.  We gotta think….what's our next move?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012


Golden rules for finding your life partner 

 When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%,  it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to
 finding Mr./Miss. Right! 
 If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love"; I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love.

 Though this may sound "not politically correct", there' s a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then 
the love will com e. Let me say it again:

 "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone"; You need a lot more!!!

 Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

 QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose?

 Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You 
need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

 Two things can happen in a marriage:

 (1) You can grow together, or
 (2) You can grow apart.

 50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what t you want out of life! Bottom line; and marry someone who wants the same thing.

 QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

 This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.
 Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" ; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague's of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

 QUESTION..3: Is he/she a mensch?

 A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions.
 Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
 Are they serious about improving themselves?
 A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right ";.So ask about your Significant other What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?
 Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

 There are essentially two types of people in the world:
 (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and
 (2) People who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
 Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.
 You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

 QUESTION..4: How does he/she treat other people?

 The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.  Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they
 wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following:

 How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc. ..
 How do they treat their parents and siblings?
 Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything;
 Can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

 QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

 Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the  worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then  you are not ready to marry them.

 In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous.  The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart.

 It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, 
You don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

 Another perspective. ....

 There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance....

 It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. 
Observe the relationships around you.
 Pay attention... . 
 Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?

 The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

 An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, pity, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

 Do you bring out the best in each other?
 Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?
 What do you bring to the relationship?
 Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

 You can't take someone to the altar to alter them.
 You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.

 If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

 7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes,

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Ten Guidelines From God

My previous post was written out of pure frustration.  God works in mysterious ways.  Earlier this evening I was thinking about my Friend/Nephew, Marlon who passed away and found an old email that he sent me  titled Guidelines from God.  Normally I usually delete these chain like emails but for some reason I kept this.  I know I never read it before today but for some reason I kept it.  I'm glad that I did.  This email has changed the way that I was feeling.  I hope that if you are feeling down it does the same for you.  

Thank you Marlon, I miss and love you.

Ten Guidelines From God 

Effective Immediately,
please be aware that there are changes YOU need 
to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be 
completed in order that I may fulfill My promises 
to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in 
this life. I apologize for any inconvenience, 
but after all that I am doing, this seems very 
little to ask of you. Please, follow 
these 10 guidelines 

Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit
and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here
to take all your burdens and carry them for you?
Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little
thing that comes your way? 

Something needs done or taken care of. Put it
on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY
to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care
of the problem.. I can't help you until you turn
it over to Me. And although My to-do-list
is long, I am after all... God. I can take care
of anything you put into My hands. In fact,
if the truth were ever really known, I take
care of a lot of things for you that you never
even realize. 

Once you've given your burdens to Me,
quit trying to take them back. Trust in
Me. Have the faith that I will take care of
all your needs, your problems and your trials.
Problems with the kids? Put them on My list.
Problem with finances? Put it on My list.
Problems with your emotional roller coaster?
For My sake, put it on My list. I want to
help you. All you have to do is ask. 

Don't wake up one morning and say,
"Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think
I can handle it from here." Why do you think
you are feeling stronger now? It's simple.
You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking
care of them. I also renew your strength
and cover you in my peace. Don't you
know that if I give you these problems back,
you will be right back where you started?
Leave them with Me and forget about
them. Just let Me do my job. 

I want you to forget a lot of things...
Forget what was making you crazy.
Forget the worry and the fretting because
you know I'm in control. But there's one
thing I pray you never forget. Please, don't
forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU!
I want to hear your voice. I want you to
include Me in on the things going on in your life.
I want to hear you talk about your friends
and family. Prayer is simply you having
a conversation with Me. I want to be your
dearest friend.. 

I see a lot of things from up here that you
can't see from where you are. Have faith in
Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me;
you wouldn't want the view from My eyes.
I will continue to care for you, watch over you,
and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me.
Although I have a much bigger task than you,
it seems as if you have so much trouble just
doing your simple part. How hard can trust be? 

You were taught to share when you were
only two years old. When did you forget?
That rule still applies. Share with those who are
less fortunate than you. Share your joy with
those who need encouragement. Share your
laughter with those who haven't heard any in
such a long time. Share your tears with those
who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith
with those who have none. 

I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime
you could have so many diverse experiences.
You grow from a child to an adult, have children,
change jobs many times, learn many trades,
travel to so many places, meet thousands
of people, and experience so much. How can
you be so impatient then when it takes Me
a little longer than you expect to handle
something on My to-do-list? Trust in My
timing, for My timing is perfect. Just
because I created the entire universe in
only six days, everyone thinks I should
always rush, rush, rush. 

9. BE KIND :
Be kind to others, for I love them just
as much as I love you. They may not dress
like you, or talk like you, or live the same way
you do, but I still love you all. Please try
to get along, for My sake. I created each
of you different in some way. It would be
too boring if you were all identical.
Please, know I love each of your differences. 

As much as I love you, how can you not
love yourself? You were created by me for
one reason only -- to be loved, and to love
in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me.
Love your neighbors. But also love yourself.
It makes My heart ache when I see you
so angry with yourself when things go
wrong. You are very precious to me.
Don't ever forget...... 

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Happy, Safe, Weird and Grateful

I've been dating someone.  Things have been progressing organically well.  Organic..he brought that word into our discussion about  our current state.

I feel happy, safe, weird and grateful.

Happy because this brotha makes me smile!
Safe - Why is that even an issue for me at the age that I am right now but that's the word that came out of my head.  I feel like he's trustworthy.
Weird because I've never dated anyone except for my 1st that I didn't use any qualifiers to describe them.  You know...I like him but he just got laid off, he's nice to me but his mother is his best friend and takes up a lot of his get the gist.
Grateful that he is thoughtful and thinks about me and lets me know it even when he's not around.

I have a saying that I always use...Enjoy the moment...Well right now I am not only enjoying the moments I am looking forward and anticipating the moments with him.

Things are easy with him.  I must say I put into the universe awhile ago that I wanted to be with someone that it would be easy to get to know.  From our 1st date the conversation flowed for 4 hours when I think we both thought it might be an hour drink at a local bar.

This is different for me and I'm relishing in it.  Speak into existence what it is you really want and it shall be yours.

It's scary writing things like this because my old self would say, now watch this end in a few more weeks. Throwing that negativity away cuz this feels real.  I'm not naive by any stretch of the word and I am paying attention to the things he says and does.  They all match!  No question that I've asked has he not answered straightfowardly. No flags of doubt have surfaced.  This feels good.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

What you gonna do?

Are you in a relationship where you questioned something? Was it something that he said, did, didn't say or doesn't do?

Did you ask what was going on with him?

Did he answer?

Now what you gonna do?

Saturday, November 06, 2010


I am old enough to remember when people referred to each other as colored. It's funny how it didn't mean very much back then and Black people weren't offended by it. I also, remember when being called colored was not a good thing, and Negro was the thing to be called. Then came Afro-American, Black and African-American. Our name changes signified change in our psyche.

No matter what we've been called we've suffered. Men and Women.

I saw the movie For Colored Girls today. If you've never read the book of poetry you should so that you hear it in your own voice and let it give you a vision of what the women in the poetry are feeling. When the book For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf was 1st published it was a voice for women who were in plain sight abused. I think if not for this voice Black women might see themselves differently than they do today. At least in their minds, if not in reality. In the past performances of this work the women do not interact. Personally I thought it was good to have them be connected in similar vein as the movie Crash.

Some reviewers will have you to believe that the story is dated and that some of the directorial choices are trite. See for yourselves and don't let others who have no reference whatsoever of some Black women's past that still exists but now covertly with subtle nuances that manage to hide the voices of Black women dealing with pain once again.

One might say that the poem and the movie paint a picture of Black men that we'd like to keep hidden not unlike our dirty laundry when company comes to visit. However, the images may offend and seem dramatic but in my opinion resonate a sickness that exists even today.

The performances in the movie were stellar. See for yourself before following a reviewer with probably no point of reference or color.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

What can we do?

I know that there has been a lot of media coverage about teen bullying and suicide. However, there seems to be a lot of talk about it but I don't really see anything being done to prevent it. This horrible trend is increasing rather than decreasing.

I had written a post about a young black man that reportedly committed suicide. I have since found out that it was a hoax. On top of all the disturbing things regarding teen suicide people are now playing games about it...disgusting.

Interestingly enough I can not find this article on the LGBTNATION's website anylonger. Maybe it's true that this article was false or a hoax. However, my comments related to this subject still stand, whether Terrell is a real victim or not.

Every channel has coverage about this trend, it's sensational, is appalling, it's heinous. Talking to parents about it doesn't seem to be the answer as I see it. Oprah asking parents to pay attention to their kids is not working either. Somehow these kids need to feel empowered to take action and protect themselves without fear of retribution.




Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Do it your way

It's time to do it your way. I don't care what it is. Do it your way. Others may not like the way you do it. But it's you that you live for. It's you that you must please.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

A Leo Day

A friend called me a couple of days ago and told me that he wanted to give me and a girlfriend of ours our birthday presents early. All 3 of us are Leos. So being the Leo's that she and I are we wanted more information. What should we wear, where are you taking us, what is the all about, etc. Well our Leo friend was not giving up any information except to be at his house at 2pm on Saturday.
Of course I was running a little late because I live on the other side of town and L.A. traffic was horrendous due to the warm weather we've been having. Everyone was out. So at 2pm when I called to tell him that I was approximately 15 mins away. He boomed into the phone, "You're going to ruin the surprise!" Ok I said, I'll hurry as fast as I can.
When I arrived at his house I noticed the that big picture window's curtains were drawn. I don't think I've ever seen these curtains closed. OMG what is he up to I thought. I rang the door and he opened up the 4 inch door within the door to peer out at me. What is going on??? He just said are you ready. Now if anyone knows a Leo you know that we do not liked to be surprised. Well I take that back we just don't like to know that there is a surprise waiting for us. If you're going to surprise a Leo just do it don't tell them you're going to surprise them.
He opens the door finally and he's standing there in a beautiful black and gold robe. As I walked in to the side of him was a Hispanic man with a chiseled body in black boxer briefs and holding another robe for me. He man put the robe on me and guided me into the next room. When I walked in I saw my girlfriend laying on a massage table being massaged by a very attractive brother dressed only in briefs. My mouth dropped.
My friend had paid for massages for the 3 of us. I was given a Mimosa, chocolate covered strawberries, cheese, crackers, salami slices and other fruit. I was to say the least in a state of shock. In fact I was finding myself nervous. I had never received a professional massage before. I'd always been a little fearful of someone other than a lover touching my body. As my girlfriend's massage was finishing it was my turn next. I changed into only my underwear and robe.
As I disrobed and laid on the table the massage began and my heart was racing. However, once this brotha began massaging me I felt a sense of relaxation that was far from what my imagination attempted to make me believe. I was nearly asleep by the end of the massage by this beautiful man. He was professional and I'm glad to say that my Massage Cherry was broken by a beautiful brotha.
Once he left we were lead to the dinning room that was decorated in choclate brown and white with a large vase full of boganvia floating in the water and cascading down the sides of the vase. We then were indulged with a light Chinese Chicken Salad and more libations. After we finished with our meal the 3 of us blew out the candles on our birthday cake.
What an absolutely wonderful surprise that I will never forget. Now I need to think what am I going to get my friend for his birthday! Lawd help!!!!

Saturday, July 03, 2010

You Never Know How You Might Touch Someone

I've included a youtube video as an example of how just a kind voice can do wonders for a person. Imagine when you are feeling really down. You know kinda like Sophia when was feeling mightly poorly and Celie helped her out in the grocery store. Sometimes gifts from God come in a moment that can change your life with just a small gesture of kindness.

Ms Davidson is an example of this. Shouldn't we all strive to make each other feel good instead of working to feel better than others?

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Delightful, Unassuming and Dignified

Delightful, Unassuming and Dignified is how I would describe the 3 authors that I met this evening. I attended a book reading at In The Meantime Men's Group discussion of Visible Lives - Three Stores in Tribute to E. Lynn Harris. In order of the characteristics mentioned above, Terrance Dean (Hiding in Hip Hop) , James Earl Hardy (B Boy Blues) and Stanley Bennett Clay (Looker) read excerpts from this piece of work.
It was a pleasure hearing them tell stories of their experience with E. Lynn Harris and what he meant to the literary world, the Black SGL community and to Black Gay authors like them and others. They wrote this book in tribute so that the memory of E. Lynn would not be just a tiny blurb in a newspaper or an insignificant footnote in our history.

I haven't started to read the book yet but from the excerpts I believe the book will be pure pleasure. The authors all read their excerpts in such a way that it left you wanting more. Just what a good author should do! If any of these authors are in your city please make an effort to go see them. You will walk away feeling proud and significant.

The host of the event described E. Lynn and the Authors of Visible Lives as Royalty. I beg to differ as I would describe them as legendary. They will all be celebrated in our future as pioneers. Being royalty doesn't mean that you've done anything but being born to a royal lineage or afforded privilege uncommon for most. It doesn't mean that you've contributed anything to the lives of anyone. These authors have done just that.
E. Lynn Harris, rest in peace.

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Thinking of the Joy

I have been thinking about my friend Marlon that passed away recently and felt sad. I thought about the many many others that have passed on as well. Then I thought about the overwhelming feeling of joy and excitment that I'd experience when I see them all again.

I know it's strange to say but I almost feel excited about that time. Just think of it. All the family members and friends that you love and have such good memories about all being in one place with no judgments, drama or issues. Just together having a good time.

Man what a party that will be! Just imagine being in one place with all the people that have held a special place in your heart.

I hope this makes you smile thinking about who you'll see.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Marlon has gone Home.

I'm devastated.

Dr. Marlon A. Collins has gone home. 10/20/80-03/16/10

You are greatly missed.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


They say that you can blame who you are and how you behave on your environment. I'm not the closets in the world to my father and there's a lot that I could say to him. However, I don't think he would understand either why I felt the need to say them or what I said might hurt him. So I was just wondering if you could say one thing to your father what would it be?

I think I would say...You never REALLY paid attention.

Of course you can comment anonomously if you like.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

We Are The World

For some reason I think that this is the direction that Micheal Jackson would have preferred this song to go. So that not just celebrities do something for the world but all of us as individuals contribute to making a difference.

After listening to this how does it make you feel?

Friday, January 29, 2010


There is a cycle to any change. So lets say that someone feels love then finds out that the other doesn't love them..then that's the change that takes place and it's the dealing with the change that is difficult for individuals to manuever.

The 6 stages to the Change Cycle include:
1. Loss: Feeling of Fear, Thoughts are cautious, Behavior is paralyzed.
2. Doubt: Feeling of resentment, thoughsts are skeptical behavior is resistant.
3. Discomfort: Feeling of anxiety, thoughts are confused, Behavior is unproductive
4. Discovery: Feeling of Anticipation, Thoughts are creative, Behavior is energized.
5. Understanding: feeling of confidence, thoughts are pragmatic, behavior is productive.
6. Integration: Feeliing of satisfaction, thoughts are focused, behavior is generous.

The better you get at change the quicker you go through the 6 stages. The dangerous thing is that many people spend too much time between stages 3 & 4 which cause them to become stagnant and sometimes start back at stage 1.

The key is believing that you can get through the change.
A friends mother told me...there are 3 stroms of life...A storm is coming, your in the middle of storm, or coming out of one. Get yourself to get through these stages as quickly as possible. You'll be a lot better equiped to handle change without it affecting you adversely.
You'll observe in your own life that these stages of change happen in every change of your life.