Sunday, December 04, 2005

Handyman Where Are You?

I need a Handyman Dammit!!!

Why are Handymen so hard to obtain? If you do find one they never ever have the capacity to tell you how much something is going to cost that day. They always have to get back to you. Ok that might be because they want to check prices of materials etc. But dayum when they do get back to you, usually 2-3 weeks later they come up with some ridiculous azz price!

I want to put blinder's on their azzes so they can only see exactly what I need done and nothing else. I think they look around and then say to themselves, "I'm going to make him wait awhile for my bid. I know he has some money. Then by that time I get back to him 2-3 weeks later, he will be so desparate to get the work done that he'll pay anything that I ask." As Whitney Houston so eloquently put it. "HELL TO THE NAW!"

I wish I had the time to go out and take a Handyman class myself and then just do everything I need on my own. But I be dayum'd if I pay some crazy azz price for a little bit of work. Here's an example of what I mean. My bathrooms are pretty small. They only have a toilet and tub in them. The sink is outside the bathroom. Well I wanted slate tile put up on the walls around the tub instead of just regular tile. Now I bought all the tile and the thnset. Why did this fool come to me talking about $5,000.00. And with a straight face. I'm talking about tiling 75 square feet. Again "HELL TO THE NAW!" So someone reccomended the father of a guy I used to work with years ago. Ok I'll give it a try. So he comes over and gives me a price of $1,000.00. Ok now we cooking with grease. So he gets started on the job and things are looking good so far.

When you have slate in a high moisture area you need to treat it. I wanted it to be treated with High Gloss so it would look like it is always wet. Well I was probably not paying very good attention to his work, cuz I trusted him. And when I mentioned shouldn't you wipe the thnset off of the tile as you go. He said, yeah i'm going to get to that. So I left him alone.

Anyway, he ended up never getting to it so daily I was trying to clean that dayum thinset off. Then to top it off he never came back to finish the edges. Now I know what your saying. You're not supposed to pay them all the money before they finish the job. Well I thought this was an exception since I knew his son. NOT!

I'm not one to cry over spilled milk for long, so I moved on. Anyway, here I am trying to get this thinset off and I did get most of it off...but some did dry on it. Now it's time to treat it. Well that was a task too when you don't really know what you're doing. But I did it! And it does look nice. Not as nice I would have liked but still nice. OH yeah I didn't mention that he broke the corner on one of the tiles and I didn't realize it until I had been cleaning that thinset for days. I wanted it to look rustic but not that dayum rustic.

So where are you reliable, on time and honest handyman? You could be making a lot of money not trying to rip people off because you think they have money. I have a patio that needs some work and some baseboards that need to be put in. Oh hell I'm just going to find the time to take a class and get this done myself. PRAY FOR i don't want my house lookng like a shack!


Trent Jackson said...

what you need? You know I lay've been to my house, I did the hardwood flooring! Uh hello, give me 20 dollars and a bag of lettuce we'll lay it out over the weekend.

If you really wanna have fun, you gather up Rick Fox and them, take that weekend class at Home Depot and have a re-decorate party! I'll be down to help in whatever I can, you know you the big homie

Anonymous said...

Tiger you got me cracking up over here...hang in there. Hell to the Naw - now I'm gonna have to use that one LOL


"N" Search of Ecstasy said...

As soon as I opened up your page and I saw that damn man's butt crack I just bust out laughing. I knew that this was going to be a funny post and I was right!

Hang in there!!!

ProfessorGQ said...

hell to the naw...tell him to put on some