Just a Thought

My Soul is naked...but I'm braced for whatever comes my way.

Sophia Home Now Thangs Gwan Change Around Heah

Friday 9/21/07 was the last day for those being laid off at my company. It was a very strange day. It was sort of quiet most of the day. I think most people didn't know what to say exactly. Each person being laid off had an exit interview set for different times. Unlike the notification that they were loosing their jobs occurred.

The 1st appointment was at 8:30am. Turns out it's really not an interview like most employees would receive when they leave our company. In this "interview" they were explained their packages one more time and then asked to turn over their laptops, company credit cards, and badge. The only question asked was "Is there anything that you'd like to say?" From what I understand most people had nothing to say.

The strange thing about all of this is when told they were being laid off, hired security was on the premises. This day none were present. Seems to me this would have been the time to have it since most had plenty of time to think about what was happening to them. It was a very sad day. There was a lot of hugging and some crying. My manager was hiding in her office most of the day and left early for the weekend. What a coward.

All that were left in our area after 2pm was me and the Indians. It's funny because before today I never heard them speaking in their native language so much. The murmur of them and the smell of their un-deodorized bodies buzzed through my head the rest of the afternoon as I tried to concentrate on my work. I only lasted a couple more hours before I called it a day. I walked out in silence, unlike my normal exit for the weekend bidding my co-workers a good weekend. My co-workers of varied length, 7, 8, 10, 13, 18 and 21 years were already gone.

As I drove home I couldn't help but reflect on the day watching in disgust the Indian woman relentlessly gourging more information out of the woman whose job she was taking. Even while other employees from other floors came to bid my co-worker farewell. While watching my co-worker shed tears the indian woman sat there stoic and stedfast in her mission to increase her knowledge a little bit further.

Earlier in the day an hour before my co-workers exit interview, I told her that she need not give this woman any more information. It was insensitive of her to continue to ask for her time on such an emotional day. My co-worker finally told her that she had had enough.

Next week I feel like I'll be starting work at a new company. One with the smell of dried hot funk, emotionless stares, and the sound of an unintelligible language buzzing in my head all day.

Next week things will be changed. Sophia's home now.

Legend Sighting

Last night I went to see Rush Hour 3. Chris Tucker is a fool. It was a fun movie. Well during the movie I consumed way too much popcorn and soda. The effects of the soda began to take effect towards the middle of the movie. I couldn't wait until the end of the film, so I made my way through the darkened theater to the restroom.

As I walked through the lobby of the theater something caught my eye it was a tall light skin woman in a fashionably funky outfit. She wore a very short dress, a hoodie vest and steletto heels. She was a beautiful girl so I noticed her first, but she appeared to be towing her date behind her. She wasn't holding his hand but you could certainly tell that she was in control. (That's a perception, I can't say that for sure. It just looked that way.)

So I looked to see if her date was as attractive as she. Well low and behold it was John Legend walking about 10 steps behind her trying to catch up. (Now that I think about it maybe someone stopped him to get an autograph and that's why she was ahead of him. Who knows?)

What a time to leave your camera phone in the car huh?

When I exited from the restroom I saw the woman standing in the concession line alone. I looked around a little but I didn't see where he went. I wanted to get a better look at the brotha. A friend of mine is in love with him and thinks he is so fine. He looks like an alien to me but maybe I'm missing something.

Fag Hag Education

This post is meant to educate women who are friends with Gay men. It'll be short and not preachy but meant to help those women with gay male friends broaden their gay men friends network.

At the party that I went to last night there was a woman that I met who was a fag hag. How do I know? It was all in the way that she spoke to me. She went on and on about how fabulous she was and commented that I looked bored. Mind you I was by no means bored. I was being entertained by one of the finest men at the party and enjoying great conversation and measuring possibilities.

The reason she thought I was bored was because I was sitting alone for some time as I didn't know many people at the party and was relaxing enjoying the music and wonderful weather that we were experiencing. I guess she thought I should be switching around and yelling girl this or girl that.

When I told her that I wasn't bored. She commented that I was dressed nicely and looking fierce, while adding a "Miss Thang" to the end of her sentence directed to me. I contemplated how I would respond to her. I do have a sharp tongue at times. So simply told her that every gay man she meets is not a Miss Thing and she should save that for her close friends that accept that name.

I know I may be being a little overly sensitive about this but I just have a problem with women who think that all gay men will relate to them in the same way that some of their flamboyant friends do. She didn't get it cuz she responded with well honey I just want you to know that I'm fabulous and I know I'm looking fierce. She wasn't and what did that have to do with what we were talking about. Her response reminded me of a line from the movie Jackie's Back when she said, "Because what, thank you, say no more."

All I'm saying is that I think all women are beautiful in their own unique ways. However, you don't have to become a flamboyant Gay-ite to converse with a gay man. We can speak without all the gay slang. Not all of us even use it. Just be careful with your words or you may tend to offend unintentionally and be written off as a fool. So in essence, just be real to who you are and we're still going to love you.

Tears Of A Clown

I came accross this picture and it reminded me of Smokey Robinson's song. I was talking to a guy at a Birthday party that I went to on Saturday. He told me that he lost his lover of 4 years 2 months ago. He was being very strong not to cry and try to enjoy himself. I made him laugh. But I'm wondering how he's doing now that the party is over.

Now if there's a smile on my face

It's only there trying to fool the public

But when it comes down to fooling you

Now honey that's quite a different subject

But don't let my glad expression

Give you the wrong impression

Cos really I'm sad, Oh I'm sadder than sad

Well I'm hurt and I want you so bad

Like a clown I appear to be glad ooh yeah

Well they're some sad things known to man

But ain't too much sadder than'

The tears of a clown when there's noone around

Oh yeah, baby baby, oh yeah baby baby

Now if I appear to be carefree

It's only to camouflage my sadness

And honey to shield my pride I try

To cover this hurt with a show of gladness

But don't let my show convince you

That I've been happy since you

Cos I need to go, oh I need you so

Look I'm hurt and I want you to know

For others I put on a show ...

like Pagliacci didI try to keep my surface hid

Smiling in the crowd I tryBut in a lonely room I cry

The tears of a clownWhen there's noone around, oh yeah, baby baby

Now if there's a smile on my face

Don't let my glad expression

Give you the wrong impression

Don't let this smile I wearMake you think that I don't care

Cos really I'm sad...