My Weekend

Friday 3pm I'm rushing out the door of work to get in my car and rush home to meet one of my bookclub members so that we can get on the road and get to Montecito. Yeah that's where Oprah lives...might even see where she lives I was thinking.

Well fate sometimes has other plans for you. So as we were driving in the horrible L.A. traffic I get a phone call from one of my bookclub members who says they made it to the house and are leaving. Ya see every year we rent a house in a city in driving distance for a retreat. We bond, have some fun, review our current book and plan what we'll do in the next year. Just a weekend of relaxation mainly. And a good time to do it after the holidays and just when everything is starting to get back to normal or so we think.

At any rate. The member tells me that there was a bit of false advertising goin on with the house we rented. It was a 4 bedroom but it was not exactly set up as a vacation rental. It appeared that whomever owns it just left the house and usually live in it. They found almost a full refrigerator full of food clothes in piles on the floor of the closet, the drying running and 2 of the bedrooms were decorated for children. Not what the pictures on their website suggested at all. In one of the childrens' room was a toddler's bed...not big enough for an adult to sleep in for sure. So the 3 members that were there first decided we were not going to stay there since 8 of us would be arriving. Instead they made arrangements for us to stay at the Embassy Suites Mandalay Beach Resort (which is in Oxnard, Ca) and get some suites for us to continue our weekend. The picture above is of the hotel. It was actually a pretty nice hotel...and right on the beach which made it even nicer.

And as you know the Embassy Suites always has free breakfast and free HAPPY HOUR!!!!! Yes, we took advantage of both! So you know black people we can make the best out of any situation and that we did. We continued with our retreat as if the Embassy Suites were a part of our plan all along. All in all it was a very pleasant weekend. Not to mention that the Camarillo Outlet mall is not that far away from it. For those of you that don't know I'm a shop-a-holic! Yes I bought some shyt.

Speaking of buying shyt. Last week the TV in my office had been acting a little funny...u know had the horrizontal lines moving through it rather slowly. Dayum...I'm gonna have to buy a new TV. After a couple of minutes the thing started working right. Good, I won't have to buy one right away. On Thursday, I was doing some work on my computer and had HGTV on in the background. I'm addicted. All of a sudden there is no sound!

Dammit! Now I have to buy a TV..well it was time, I've had this one for many many years...probably longer than the age of some of you reading this. So off to Circuit City I go. Damn it feels good not to have to worry about stuff like this and you can just go replace it. It doesn't seem like so long ago that I would have had to save up for a min. b4 replacing it. Anyway so I get a new TV and bring it home for my office, plug it into the cable, vcr and DVD player turn it on ...yes to HGTV...and what the fuk! There is no sound!!!!! It wasn't the TV it was the cable channel that had no sound!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Well I needed a new TV in this room anyway... :-)

I'm gonna be better!

They say that God only puts you through things to make you stronger. Well if that is true...I am one strong azzzzzzzzzz mofo!

Seriously, I'm on a mission to find something good to write about in the very near future. Hopefully that will be after this weekend. I'm going to Oprah and Stedman's stomping ground on Friday. Yeah Santa Barbara.

It'll be beautiful if nothing else. that didn't sound to positive did it...ok give me a break...I'm coming up off of this whirlwind...i'll be better and stronger.

Numb

This year is not starting off to positively. However, I'm hoping that it will change soon.

So many things are going on in my head right now that I don't even have the words to express them.

A very good friend of mine passed away on Saturday and I'm just speechless. He was the Angel that saved my life. Have you ever been so depressed that all you did is go to work and come home and nothing else? Well I was (although I will never go through that again). That's all I did go to work and then come home. I didn't even go to the grocery store unless it was to get detergent to wash clothes or toileties. Kevin was there for me. He would call me almost every day to talk to me or invite me out to some event or to just come to his house and he'd cook.

There were many times that I told him that I would meet him someplace and just never showed up. Normally, myself include, one might just stop calling thinking that the person just doesn't want to be bothered, and why waste my time calling and they never show up. Kevin didn't stop he kept calling me and kept inviting me. That's why I say he saved my life. I can not imagine what would have happened with me if it weren't for him.

I'm going to leave you all with this: You may know people who are strong, they laugh alot and everybody loves them. Many times those individuals are hiding many things. Even if you don't think they need it, make yourself always available to them. They are the fragile ones. Take care of them the best you can, even if you think they don't need it. And don't forget to say I love you.

Questions

1. What is your occupation?
Corporate Slave

2. What color is your underwear?
Marcuuuuuuus I'm not wearing any underwear. (in an Eartha Kitt voice)

3. What are you listening to right now?
The ringing of a bell from a Russian Church down the street. That shit should be illegal this dayum early.

4. What was the last thing you ate?
The question should be what is the next thing you want to eat. Can anyone guess?

5. Do you wish on stars?
ummm hmmm

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Brown or Blue

7. How is the weather right now?
I think it's clear...Doesn't rain long here in cali baybee.

8. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
My nephew had to tell him some bad news about a friend of mine.

9. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Nobody sent this to me...I stole if off of a site somewhere.

10. How old are you today?
Same as I was yesterday

11. Favorite drink?
Bourbon on the rocks. You are talking alcohol right?

12. Favorite sport to watch?
Track..The sprints and relays.

13. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Not yet but I'm starting to see a little grey coming in...Who knows what the future holds.

14. Do you wear contacts or glasses?
No...but I think I need some. Soon I'll have to stand across the room to read this screen. Then walk back to the keyboard to type something then walk away again...You get the picture.

15. Pets?
Do nephews and nieces count?

16. Favorite month?
August That's when I peeked outside for the 1st time.

18. What was the last movie you watched?
Started watching Rent..lawd will I make it through that thing?

19. Favorite day of the year?
Dumb ass question.

20. What do you do to vent anger?
This sounds like a question for a white person. Like I'm supposed to say..Throw my clothes around the room or punch a wall. Plz my clothes cost too much money to be throwing around and so does a hole in the wall..Not to mention one could break their hand hitting walls.

21. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Infant - anything that went in my mouth
Toddler - my stuffed lion
elementary - My tonka jeep
Middle School - my penis
High School - my penis and his penis
College - my penis, some ass, nipples, tongues...The list goes on.

22. Fall or Spring?
Spring

23. Hugs or kisses?
Kisses don't lie

24. Cherry or Blueberry?
Now who doesn't like a good Cherry every now and then. Just don't let them get too attached.

25. Do you want your friends to email you back?
Wouldn't it be rude if your friends didn't email you back?

26. Who is most likely to respond?
Hard to say...Folks are so dayum fickle nowadays. They'll think about their own responses tho. That's good enough for me.

27. Who is least likely to respond?
Jackie Washington. Did yall see her movie? If not, this should be a must see on your list!

28. Living arrangements?
Lawd

29. When was the last time you cried?
Not for awhile..but I feel one coming on soon.

30. What is on the floor of your closet?
Shoes

31. Who is the friend you have had the longest?
Mark although we don't see each other that much.

32. What did you do last night?
Went to go to a play with 2 girlfriends, didn't get in cuz it was sold out, drove a friend to the dayum airport to rent a car, then to a buddies for a bourbon on the rocks then home.

35. What are you afraid of?
Birds!!!!!!!!!!!! Flyin dayum rats!

36. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?
Oooh a spicy turkey burger would be good.

37. Favorite car?
SL600

38. Favorite dog breed?
I have 2...a Great Dane and a Pomeranian

39. Number of keys on your key ring?
Too many. Wouldn't it be nice if you could have one key that opened everything.

40. How many years at your current job?
I don't want to talk about it....Feels like I'm going to retire there. Lawd I hope not.

41. Favorite day of the week?
Days that I can do whatever I want.

42. How many states have you lived in?
3

43. How many cities have you lived in?
Are you the IRS or somethin!!

Black Entertainment Memories

For some reason I thought about these pieces of entertainment today. Don't ask me why but If you ever get to see them you should. Why some of these are not easily available I don't know!!!What a world what a world...they all SHOULD be on DVD now or in the future.

Dreamgirls 1981

And now a new Dreamgirls set to be released December 2006. Dreamgirls 2006

Starring: Jamie Fox, Beyonce Knowles, Jennifer Hudson, Eddie Murphy and Danny Glover.

Sister Sister

A made for television move about 3 middle class sisters. If you don't know Rosalind Cash rent any movie with her in it. She died of Cancer and was a wonderful actress. This movie was written by Maya Angelou.




















Sounder


The story of a Sharecroping family in Rural Louisianna. Starring Cicely Tyson and Paul Winfield.

















Assault at Westpoint: The court martial of Johnson Whitaker

This movie stars Samuel L. Jackson and Seth Gilliam. You may have seen Seth Gilliam in Oz, The Wire and Punks. In Assault at Westpoint Seth was pretty young and FINE ass hell!

Rent Review & Surprise Visit

Imma have to watch it again earlier in the day cuz my ass fell right to sleep on this thing.

Dugla, I'm going to give it another chance.

Krazy Nephew I'm ready to move to another state with my equity right now!! I prefer DVDs too, nothing better then making a movie setting in front of my big screen with the fireplace, surround sound and some fresh popped popcorn.

On to this evening and surprise visit.

I had the opportunity of meeting JL King. Herndon Davis, a friend of mine had dinner with him and they stopped by to chill while JL waited until time to go to the airport and return home to Atlanta. I thought that I wasn't going to like him at all and sort of wanted the opportunity to give him a little grief about his book. That didn't really happen.

Perhaps he has garnered some skill in the art of having a converstaion go his way to deflect any negative converstion that I might have initiated or he has just evolved into a different image from what I previously had of him. By the time he left to catch his plane I believe the latter to be true.

He was actually a very nice guy. Cordial, interested in what I had to say and not the monster that I thought he might be. I did bring up speak on how he made a lot of people angry with his book and his appearance on Oprah. His response was that he didn't care what they thought. This took me back for a sec. Then he continued by saying that no matter what you do, there are going to be people that are going to say or think negative things about you. Because of that one can not pay much attention to the negativity and that one should surrond themselves with positive people and not bring your spirit down with negativity. Now how can you argue with that.

We all have been the victim of negativity and know that folks will talk even without your being in the public eye. But really who cares as long as you are being true to yourself. He did admit that he is not the same person that he was on the Oprah show and was excited about new projects that he is working on.

I'm definetely one to give people a chance so lets see what JL has in store for us and hopefully we will have reason to be nothing but proud. And if you read this JL thanks for a pleasant evening.

And Herndon, thanks for the opportunity!! Love ya!

Rent

No baybee. I'm a homeowner I don't pay rent.

I had no intentions of going to see the movie Rent. For some reason I just was not at all interested in it. However, A friend of mine will be voting for movies in the SAG Awards so he gets copies of DVDs for all the movies that are being nominated. So he let me borrow it. I'm going to watch it tonight so I'll be letting you know if I'm going to be as disappointed as I think I am.


Oh yeah, someone sent this to me today. I might have to write a post about Wiggas one of these days. click here

Simple

One simple act of kindness can change someone's whole day.

You might not even know how you've affected someone by being kind. Think about it...

Sophia was feeling mighty poorly when Celie came into the store and helped her with her grocery list. That simple act might have been what gave Sophia the strength to make it through another day of the hell she endured.

One simple act of kindness will always make life much sweeter. That's all God wants us to do is to be kind to one another. When someone needs you to listen to them...how much energy does it really take to just take a moment and listen?

I don't need to write a whole lot about this cuz you know what I mean.

Don't Blink

I wanna live on an Island
so I can get some peace.

Not gonna do anything to my hair
not even gonna put in any grease.

I wanna live on an Island
so my mind can be free.

Gonna swim naked cuz no one will see.

I wanna live on an Island
so I won't have to think.

I was never really important to you
so I'll be gone before you can blink.

Motivation

How do you get black people motivated to do anything collectively? Can anybody answer that for me?

I know that during the Civil Rights Movement it was a struggle at the beginning to get people on board with things like the boycotts. Eventually people understood that it was their social responsibility and a means to the end of weary life.to better their lives for them and for others.

Where has that sense of responsibility gone to? It seems as though everyone is simply out for themselves. I know this is going to sound sacrilegious to some...but it's just how I feel.

It seems to me that once Black people began to gain equal rights, that we've moved away from supporting one another. The saying, If it ain't white it ain't right, comes to mind. Makes me sick to think about it. Our culture is so rich with beauty and intelligence and we won't use that to our advantage to advance and prosper in a way that we see fit.

I'm gonna get back on Corporate America to explain. In Corporate America one quickly learns that there are certain behaviors and ways of maneuvering through the system. If you are not adept at these, mostly unwritten, skills then you are not conforming to the preferred behavior. Hence, this minimizes your chances for success.

We should not go by example indoctrinated by the white, European, Caucasian, whitey, cracker, devil's design. (sorry I got carried away, but it just makes me mad) The design that is used today is the same design that was used to enslave our ancestors into bondage.

I pray that one day we will stop following their example and create our own. I know we can do it. I guess we just need to be motivated enough. Please help me understand what will motivate us?

Yeah it's annual review time at work!! I'm preparing myself now to not be swayed by the stool that spews out of my managers mouth in regards to my performance.

Say it 3 times fast.....I will not react, I will not react, I will not react.

I know that the motivation behind all reviews are to propagate a particular type of behavior or action by penning phrases that will ensure a particular result to justify a measly annual increase.

I know my job well, extremely well I might add. So I'm not being bitter, I just know how they operate. Ya see there is a bell curve that was created for our entire department. There is a mandate that every employee in the department or group can not be exceptional. Someone has to be on the low end and someone on the high. I'm sure you all know about Bell Curves and the percentages that are associated with it. So via performance review that bell curve will maintain its shape no matter what.

Sorry didn't mean to go that far off...I really am concerned about the black communities desire for change and ability to create new avenues for success for us all.

I'm putting my thinking cap on but it is difficult to think beyond the bondage of YT even today.

Just being quiet

I've been quiet the past couple of days just cuz I wanna be. Just reading other people's blogs and enjoying what they have to say.

Here's a little bit of mindless entertainment.

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/shakethatass.swf

My Bathroom

Ok this is a light post today. I finally painted my bathroom. It's a small one but it's what I have and I'm trying to make the best of it. Take a look.

Black GLBT Television

Can you imagine a TV station that is Black Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender focused?

Well I can and we all should! Wouldn't you like to see your own images on television daily? Images that really depict your truths? We can make it happen!

We have the white channels, Logo and Q Television. Why not one for us? Believe it or not there are people that look and act just like you and I that are blazing trails to get on and stay on television. Only a few have been seen however. Noah's Arc, Ski Trip and The Herndon Davis Reports are the only ones that I know about.

Of the 3 projects of work, one is a movie (Ski Trip), one a Series (Noah's Arc) and the last a Talk Show (The Herndon Davis Reports).

Here are a few facts about them:


- Ski Trip was shot in 2 weeks in 2004 and made history by being the First Black gay film ever on television. It came on MTV's Logo channel in July 2005. Ski Trip was written and directed by Maurice Jamal.

- Noah's Arc is a television series that was written by Patrick-Ian Polk. If you have been to any of the gay film festivals you heard about Noah's Arc and now hearing about it from your friends if you haven't seen it for yourself on Logo. So imagine all the work that it took for him to get it into the film festivals and then on to a television network. He also wrote and directed Punks. Punks has not been on television nor is it available on DVD. What a shame this was quality work. Here's an Interview with Patrick-Ian Polk.

- The Herndon Davis Reports is a Talk Show that is meant to inspire, motivate and cultivate the Black gay community. Herndon Davis is an Author, Lecturer and now Talk Show host. Herndon wrote the inspirational/spirituality book, Black Gay & Christian. This is an intelligent show that is extremely informative for our brothers and sisters in smaller communities that might not have opportunities and access to information as we do in the bigger cities. Also check out his blog on his website.

Things you don't know about these 3 pieces of work and should know:

1. Ski Trip was funded by people like you and me donating $100, $50 or even $5 to get it made for $10,000.00. His second film, Dirty Laundry, is a daring comedy about family drama, identity and coming out, starring Loretta Devine (Crash, Waiting to Exhale), Sommore (Queens of Comedy, Friday After Next, Def Comedy Jam) and Sheryl Lee Ralph (Moesha, Dreamgirls) This movie too needs financial help to get it made. Click here to donate.

2. There is a chance that Noah's Arc will NOT be back on for a 2nd season. Here's an online petition to sign in an attempt to bring it back. Send it to your friends as well. You can even email Logo & MTV directly if you want to go directly to the source. They have yet to make a decision on whether it will be back or not.

3. The Herndon Davis Reports premiered it's 2nds season on December 29, 2005. The 1st and 2nd seasons were primarily financed by Herndon himself. However, it is possible that this could be the shows last season if advertisers are not found. Contact Herndon Davis to find out how you can help get a keep this show on the air.

I know that there are more individuals that are talented in the Black gay community who have projects that they would also like to get on television. The thing that we don't know most of the time is that it takes money.

Granted, there may be some of us that don't even like the projects that I mentioned above. However, this reminds me of the same types of conversations that occurred about black people in movies and television shows of past years. The characters they played were either, maids, pimps, prostitutes, poor, criminals, sambos, uncle toms or some type of embarrassment to our community. If it weren't for those individuals' desire to become the actors and actresses that they were, playing any type of roll they could get, I would venture to say it's possible that we might not have some of the the Icons we have today. Icons such as: BET, Hattie McDaniel, Dorothy Daniels, Sidney Portier, Sammy Davis Jr., Halle Berry, Denzell Washington, Lawrence Fishburn, Angela Bassett, etc.

The Black GLBT Community has a different charge today than the entire Black Community had of past years. The charge today is to get the voice of our community heard. Let's collectively work on getting the 3 projects mentioned above, solildified in our history and future. Once these projects are successful and profitable they'll be the leaders to the future we design. That future is our own Black Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender focused television station.

On Sense of Purpose
If you haven't dreamed that you will get there, you will not think about ever taking the steps to be there. - Max Robinson

On Self-Determination
We are responsible for the world in which we find ourselves, if only because we are the only sentient force which can change it. - James Baldwin

With cooperative economics and persistence our voices can be heard loudly and clearly.

Palm Springs

Well I'm back from Palm Springs it was a very nice trip. The traffic from L.A. to there was a breeze. Which was unbelieveable. Normally it takes approximately 2 hours to get there from L.A. It only took me an hour and 15 minutes. Coming home was a different story since it was raining. That was no consequence to me as I stopped at the Cabazon Outlet mall on my way home to do some ME shopping.

I wish this mall was closer because you can really get some good deals in the Armani Exchange store there. I did buy some stuff too. Not that much because the rain was getting pretty bad and Cabazon is one of those outside malls.

While at my friends it was really sort of a strange experience on one level because out of the 45 or so people that were there probably all but 3 were a part of a couple. Granted a lot of them where white it still made me wonder, "What is it that they do that Black Brothas are not doing." I do know that they have less societal issues than we do but still. They have their issues of relationships just like we do. However, there were there and many of them were old couples having been together for many years. The oldest couple had been in a relationship for 30 years! The nice thing about them too was that they all seemed to be well educated, well traveled and financially secure.

Dayum why can't I have that with a brotha! Anyway, this topic is getting a little boring so I'm going to move away from this and on to something else. You decide why black successful men's relationships are not as successful. We have the same things they have.

Gone to Palm Springs

Well I hope everyone brought in the new year safely and had fun. I did.

I'll be away for a couple of days...going to Palm Springs.

I'm going to bring some blackness to that city!!!

Black sgl folks should take it over...it's a great place to relax and there are some beautiful homes there.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Make this year something important to you!

Happy New Year!

Dream

Live

Love

Prosper

Create

I LOVE YOU

I was reading Just Ask Trent's blog today(12/29/05) and was inspired to say something. He was spitting out thoughts on

If you like my book, I love you,
If you didn't like it, I love you ...blah blah blah blah blah. Go read his blog if you wanna see it all.

Anyway, I was thinking about how one of my nephews always tells me that he loves me when we hang up the phone.

He taught me to say I love you. I never used to say it to friends, family and saved it for when I truly felt like I was in love with some knuckle head.

I hadn't seen my nephew since he was 7 (the reason babies mama and daddy drama and everybody suffers) and then one day he got in touch with my mother to find out where I was. He called me and was 15years old at the time. That was strange to me as I wondered why he all of a sudden wanted to be in contact with me. Now I wondered but I was extremely happy. I loved this child like he was my own. When he was a baby I would take him everywhere with me. People always thought he was mine cuz he looked so much like me. So being the teenager I was at the time...I sho did tell them he was mine.

Anyway, so he wants to see me. He's now living in a dessert town outside of Los Angeles with his mother, sister (from a different daddy) and some new man his mama is with. Of course I would go see him. I took the hour drive outside of LA through the winding one lane mountains in my tiny little convertible. Not the type of car you should drive through the mountains and desserts. Trust me those big ass trucks almost blew me off the road. Thank God I didn't but my top down or I woulda been looking like I had been dunking for apples in sand.

I spent the day with my nephew and we had a great time. Well now that is was time for me to get back down through the dessert and the mountain at night! We all said our goodbyes. My nephew walked me out to my car and gave me a big hug and said I love you.

I just hugged him harder and didn't say a word. My family never was much on saying I love you. I guess everybody just felt like it was a given and we already knew that we loved each other so what's the point of saying it. ( I know weird ass black families)

My nephew was about to stop all that dumb shit right there. As I let him go from my I love you hug, he said. Well don't you love me? I responded of course I do why would you ask me that?

Well you didn't say it and if you don't say it how will I know. Then this little man began to lecture me on why he wanted me to say that I loved him every time that we spoke.

- What if you get in a car accident going down that mountain.
- What if when I talk to you on the phone one day and something happens and I'm gone forever.
- What if anything happens to any of us.

Don't you want that to be the last thing that we hear from each other?

Well I did say I love you, even though it still felt weird. And continued to say I love you when talking to him and the significance of this whole thing came to pass on the worst week of my life.
2 years ago now my Grandmother was becoming very ill. The doctors didn't know how much longer she had. So we all new that we would be going to a funeral soon, it was just a matter of time.

While on this horrible death watch, I got a call that my brother-in-law collapsed at my other nephews high school football game. He's in the hospital and I need to come home. I drove to see about my sister and nephew and niece. When I arrived at my sisters my niece was crying her eyes out and my nephew closed up in his room. I thought my brother-in-law had passed. I was wrong it was my Grandmother that passed.

I spent a little time with my family before driving 2 hrs back to LA to pack and get a plane to Maryland. Within 2 days I was on my way to the airport. I took a shuttle and as I was getting off of the shuttle to LAX, by cell rang. It was my father telling me that my brother-in-law just passed away 10 mins ago. I would be coming back from my Grandmothers funeral to go to my brother-in-laws.

I don't have many friends where my parents live anylonger as I haven't lived there since High School. However, I did have two very best friends there. I knew one of them would be at my brother-in-laws funeral as they knew him too. Turns out neither of them came. Both would reasons. Mark is a Sheriff (friends since 7th grade) and there was some kind of gang thing going on that he had to be a part of. Rhonda (friends since 10th grade) wasn't feeling well. I spoke to her after the funeral and because of my state of mind I didn't go off on her, eventhough I was disappointed she wasn't there. She told me she had had this flu and her doctor told her she shouldn't go out because it was so bad.

I was concerned about her but was very consumed with death at the time and a little irritated that she nor Mark were around to support me. At the end of our call I told her to feel better. All of a sudden my nephews voice came into my head, "Don't you love me". I then told Rhonda that I loved her. She said she loved me too and would talk to me soon. We hung up.

Two days later I got a phone call that Rhonda had passed away. The first thing that came to my mind was that I was glad that I told her that I loved her.

SAY I LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS YOU CAN! TOMORROW REALLY ISN'T PROMISED.

A Need For Love

Memoirs of a Geisha.

What a beautifully hopeful movie.

It's about emptiness, sadness, loss, dreams, pride and love. If you haven't seen this movie you should.

I am the kind of person who loves to go to the movies alone. I escape in them and am able to live inside of the main character for the duration of the film. This was quite a journey.

If I had to be poetic in my description of this film I would say:

It's the story of a seedling that blooms under circumstances that normally would be detrimental to the growth of a prized flower. Incidences of toxic manure thrown until covering the flower to near emotional death are thwarthed by the nourishment of the sky's tears . The flower does prevail through hardships and darkness to blossom through the tainted manure into the epitomy of it's species.

Strength in Art

Time for a shot of culture.

I ran across the works of this artist while surfing the net about a year ago. His work embodies strength, pride and a regal-ness that we all should morph into our beings. When you see his art work the subjects touch your soul and tell you a story without the need for description. I just wanted to share with you the works of Kadir Nelson. The picture below is called Cotton.



What this piture brings to my mind is this:

I reflect on today.
No matter the labor that YT puts on me, only makes me stronger.
His demands for my body and mind strengthen my character.
It weakens his perception of me as he sits up high on my shoulder.
He only sees me as a way to his means.
If I misstep he will chastise me.
This is where my power lies, knowing I have the ability to cause reaction with a slight stumble.
Dear Lord, guide me on my way.

Below is Kadir Nelson's description:
When faced with unspeakable hardship and struggle, African-Americans have retained a sense of pride, dignity, elegance and strength. In this dramatic work by Kadir Nelson, a southern plantation field slave hoists a wicker basket filled to the brim with cotton over his shoulder, undaunted by the horrible slave existence and painful task of picking cotton forced upon him. From "The African American Series" by Kadir Nelson.

What do you see?

Christmas Day

I wrote a few posts ago about Holiday Blues. Yeah I still got them and I did not buy one gift at all. And I'm sooooo glad I didn't. I know this is gonna sound selfish. But Shyt! Enough is enough.

I buy good-ass gifts...and I always get some BS...so this year I said I'm not buying nuffin! Yes I said NUFFIN! Every other year I go home for Christmas or Thanksgiving. This year I went to my parents for Thanksgiving. All of my brothers and sisters where there this time. All 6 of us. I had the flu. I would have had hell to pay if I did not take that 2 hour drive to be there. But that's another story.

Anyway back to today's post. I stayed here in LA for Christmas.

When I"m here for the holidays I go to a Girlfriend's house from college. I'm the God Father of her 11 year old daughter. This year Christmas dinner was going to be at her brother's. He lives in Pasadena like the rest of the family. All in beautiful homes. He's a Chiropractor with a spoiled ass 140lb 10 yo fat ass son, that was constantly putting his fat fingers in the Sees candy box. I wanted to scream at his ass, "Get yo fat ass hands outta there and run around the dayum block." Doesn't make sense for a 10 year old to be that dayum fat.

I called my girlfriend to tell her that I didn't think I was going to attend this year. I was honest and told her that I hadn't bought any gifts and felt a little weird about coming over empty handed. She immediately, told me that I better have my ass there and that it was not important whether I had gifts or not.

So anyway dinner was good..so that was my christmas gift. I ended up getting a wine bottle opener. Yes wine bottle opener...not a cork screw. This was one of those fancy dancy ones. Now this woman has known me for about 20 years. (shaddup all you youngins I know yall think I"m old.) In all those years that she's known me she should know better than most people that I don't drink a whole lot of wine. That shyt makes me sleepy. I'm a Jack man dammit!

Oh I did got another gift from my Manager. A $15 gift card to Target. I'm really gonna go on a shopping spree with that one!!

I may sound bitter or ungrateful about all of this but actually I'm not. It just proves to me that this is just a day that people feel forced to buy things for each other that really dont' mean a dayum thing. I'm not bitter because this family has been like a second family to me and during those times when it is not a holiday they still call to see about me and send me cards just to say they are thinking of me.

So you see we may not realize it but we get gifts all year long from the people that we care about. Whether it's a simple thank you card or just a hug when you need it. Those things are much more valuable and long lasting than any gift bought in a rush. I'll give gifts when I feel like it and not because it's the season where all the stores make tons of money.

The gift of love is better than any gift bought with a credit card. I know that was corny but it's true.